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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Long distance

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Gelati
    Gelati avatar
    75 posts
    25 March 2020

    Hi everyone.

    I hope you are all coping ok with the current health situation.

    I wondered if you have any suggestions or words of comfort you could offer? I have been separated indefinitely from my partner who live interstate and I don't know when I'll be able to see them again. Not knowing day to day what further restrictions they will place on our community makes me so sad and anxious about losing my freedoms and the warmth of lived ones' company, without an end in sight.

    I live alone in a unit and my neighbours don't talk to me. On both sides they are young happy couples - one expecting a baby. I wish I had my own little family. I have a cat but I'm craving human closeness. We have to work at home like many people. I am finding it hard to concentrate and people only seem to appreciate the concentration difficulties for parents with children at home. I can't concentrate for different reasons.

    I had to go to the supermarket today and it was eerily quiet with lines separately customers. I went to use some hand sanitiser that was sitting at the customer service bench, facing customers, and when I used it, a member of staff snatched it and put it beyond reach. Little things left me with uneasy feelings.

    I want to know desperately how long this will last. I feel really lonely. Usually I would deal with this by seeing a friend or going on a holiday, but we can't do that anymore.

  2. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    351 posts
    26 March 2020

    Hi Gelati,

    It is great to see you reaching out here on the forum. Your feelings are real and the situation is so tough at the moment. I am sorry that you are separated from your partner, this would feel so isolating and it would be difficult to be at home and see the little families around you. Being long distance is hard enough at the best of times, never mind when it is forced. We are all facing incredibly big and fast changes with so much information to process in our minds. It takes a lot of our mental energy from being able to focus on the tasks at hand and concentrate. This is a really normal response. The people with children working at home have new distractions with kids running around in the background, and that can be distracting for everyone. A friend of mine says she is at home working with kids and has no time to think and have a break. In your case, it sounds like you have too much time to think about the unknown and the 'what it's'. The situation is not ideal for anyone and is a massive adjustment.

    Be kind to yourself during this time.

    During this type of experience, it is important to balance your focus on things that are within your realm of control. Sometimes making a list can help. For example, you can control the amount of media your view, you could write letters to your partner, use video catch ups and schedule these with your friends and family or take an online fitness class (there are many popping up) or learn to cook a new dish. Putting some structure to your days can really help and creating a weekly schedule with activities and things you aim to achieve can help focus and keep you active, even within your own space.

    People are changing (rapidly) how they do things and adjusting to creating new opportunities for virtual connection. There are virtual museums to explore and you might take a trip on YouTube to a place you have always wanted to visit.

    The unknown is scary at the moment for all of us, but we can still put our feet on the ground and be in the here and now. Tomorrow is a new day and you might have a really positive experience at the grocery store. I saw a guy today grab some toilet paper (it was the last batch) and a young woman came walking down who looked disappointed she didn't get any, and he just gave her his pack. It was nice.

    Another good thread to look at on the forum is the 'Coping with Coronavirus outbreak' where there are lots of strategies being shared.

    Nurse Jenn

  3. Juliet_84
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Juliet_84 avatar
    354 posts
    26 March 2020 in reply to Gelati

    Hi Gelati,

    During times like this I’m grateful for technology. My partner and I have had to separate also as he is an essential worker and I am a vulnerable population. We FaceTime about several times a night, sometimes he even props the phone next to him and we watch TV together 😊 At work, we regularly check in with each other over Skype and put our webcams on so that we can see each other’s faces. I’ve also started gardening out in the sunshine at lunch. Even a bike ride is a good way to get the endorphins going but not breaking the rules. It is definitely tough and keeping our spirits up will be a challenge, but this won’t be forever xx we’ve just got to get through it; think about how nice it will be when we come out the other side :)

  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    12994 posts
    26 March 2020 in reply to Gelati

    Hello Gelati, in these current times I'm sure all you want is to be with your partner and because of the restrictions this would only make it worse, and it would feel as though they are on the other side of the world.

    All our physical contact with those we love has suddenly changed and it may not be the same, people will be more cautious but that doesn't mean visual communication by way of skype, duo etc, I know that it's not the same as giving one another a cuddle, a squeeze or a kiss, but this virus has the ability to massively change our lifestyles.

    I'm really sorry you can't be with them.

    Geoff.

  5. Gelati
    Gelati avatar
    75 posts
    27 March 2020
    Thank you all for your thoughtful messages. I very much appreciate your kind words.

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