Four days ago I found out that my husband, who I love and adore, has been smoking Ice and meeting strangers for sex for at least the last two months.
We have a one year old and two year old and I have been home on maternity for the past two and a half years during which I thought would be the best time of my life, but it has all gone miserably wrong.
I have been seeing a counselor for the last year to help with depression which I have always struggled with. This was bought on by feelings of isolation as we don't have family in Australia and also because I wanted to stay home full time but struggled to find other mums who were doing the same in my area. My husband has been extremely supportive during this and always puts myself and the children before himself.
Over the past year though, despite him being supportive, he has also been going through a stressful work situation and has become argumentative, emotionally and verbally abusive and unpredictable in regard to his mood.
I have tried and tried to encourage him to seek help but it just kept falling on deaf ears. Now, here I am, devasted as I have found out what he has been up to behind my back.
Today he checked in to a detox facility and insists that he will do anything he can to regain my trust so that he can come back home and be my husband and a father to his beautiful children again. I am just so exhausted after a week of absolute devastation and feel so lost as what to do.
I am seeing a counselor for myself and my husband and I will be embarking on relationship counseling when he is discharged from detox, as well as he will be involved in an outpatient program for drug and alcohol abuse, as well as the sex addiction.
I am in between counseling sessions and my husband is off in detox and I'm am just feeling so much pain right now, I am looking for extra support on this forum and advice and encouragement to help me find the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other during this time.
I have had family fly in from overseas to help me for a couple of weeks, so I am not looking after a baby and toddler full time alone, but that time will come soon and I need to be prepared and put some systems in place to ensure my children aren't affected and their lives continue to be happy and healthy despite the traumatic time their parents are going through.
My heart aches and as someone who already struggles with depression, I am looking for all the support I can possible get right now.