Hi Lost,
You can support someone that wants help. But, I don't think you can make someone get help if they don't want it. Have you thought about this is effecting you?
You must be feeling exhausted by all of this? It sounds like you have done a lot to try to work through the problems, talking, joint counselling but there is some resistance to change from your partner. It doesn't sound to good if the counsellor is refusing to work with him any more.
Do you think that your partner wants to change?
You wrote that there is a background to your partners drinking behaviour, which is tough to fight unless he wants to do so. Relationships need both partners to make it work. It rarely feels like it's 50/50 and often we feel like we are doing more than the other, which probably makes about right, since we all struggle to see the entire picture.
How much work do you feel like you're doing in this relationship? Is the relationship giving you what you need?
I'm glad that you found us and wrote to the forums, there are a lot of people that can offer help. When your up to it write back and let us know your thoughts.
Good luck
xx