I had been talking to this guy for months now and we finally met up last week at a local cafe.
I hadnt been on a date in 3 years! My last relationship ended 6 years ago! So i felt very out of place! But as my psychologist put it, look at potential partners like a beer. Sometimes you need to try many of them to find the one you really like. So i went into the date with no expectations to just "try the beer".
The guy isnt what i typically go for either! And i feel like it went really well, i ended up liking this beer😂 sounds weird saying it like that.
Really look forward to seeing him again and i feel like its a positive sign we are still talking! He had messaged me only like 30mins after our date too.
I just dont want to get too attached so soon though. But at times i cant help but wonder what our kids would look like, what type of ring he would propose to me with, how our lives would be like living together, would we end up buying a house together, what are his parents like, would they like me etc.😂
Then i think about what he really thought of me. What were his thoughts about me when first meeting, what has he told his friends or family about me if anything, will he end up ghosting me?
Then also thoughts about when my expectations were way too high! This guy is a couple months younger than me, i usually go for guys at least 2 years older. This guy enjoys going out for a couple drinks with his mates, i dont drink. This guy is a gaming manager at a pub, i usually go for guys who are university educated.
So many thoughts racing through my mind and not sure how to feel about any of them!
The scariest thing i find about dating is what if i find someone i like better? I hate hurting people and i guess thats one reason i was out of the dating scene for quite a while. That fear of getting comfortable with someone only for someone i like more to come along? If that makes sense. Makes me wonder if ill ever be ready to settle? Ive been in some pretty terrible/abusive relationships in the past and i guess all those issues come back up. Questioning everything.. am i too damaged to be in a relationship again??