Hello and welcome BM;
Your post is hard hitting for me as my last long term relationship was fraught with this very same syndrome. Do I have advice for you? Yes...leave, nurse your emotional wounds, and learn how to promote yourself first!
Sounds really harsh I know, but I had 3 yrs of rejection resulting in me having panic, anxiety and a type of sexual post trauma effect. I loved him more than any other in my life. He proposed to me and we planned the wedding together. It tore my heart to pieces when we split.
Madonna/Whore syndrome relates to issues in men who had confusing and attachment/detachment issues with their mums or those who took on this role. In my ex's case, it was his mum, sister and nan.
Madonna refers to the virgin mother; Mary. She gave birth without sexual contact. This legend is reproduced in men who can't imagine their mothers being intimate with men, not even their fathers. Sex with women who aren't seen this way might be easier, but it's an individual thing.
It becomes so ingrained, the thought of it scares them to death. When young, their libido's create (unemotional) intent to physically be able to satisfy normal youthful urges, but as yrs pass, the libido lessen's. This means it's more difficult for them to make an effort; their head, body and heart are at odds.
If you're loved by this person, you'll take on a maternal image within him, especially if you spoil him or treat him as a mother might...his mother.
Please don't take this on as your fault; it's nothing of the sort. His beliefs and how he acts on them, belong to him alone, not you.
I'm still friends with my ex, but the thought of being intimate with him had to be pushed out of my mind for this to occur. Basically, I had to stop loving him.
This isn't easy for me to talk about, but as you seem to be in a similar place, I think it only right I share my experience.
I totally empathize with you...