I need to vent, I live with BPD ( Borderline Personality Disorder). Ive always had a difficult with both my mother & father, but more so my mother. I really suspect that shes has undiagnosed BPD. Im a single parent & unfortunately I have always really struggled to have any kind of relationship with my mother. Im an only child from my parents, but I do have 2 half living brothers, one of my half brother's past away at the end of 2019. I never really had a very close relationship with any of my brothers, maybe my brother that past away, we kind of had a close-ish relationship with me when he was younger. There is a big age difference with my younger half brothers, & they really havent tried to have much a of closer relationship with me. Im ususally doing the contacting for a chat. But getting back to my mother & our relationship, we have always had difficult relationship, very strained & there have been times that we stopped speaking at all for months. In recent months I was getting so triggered by the way she was behaving towards me with her total lack of acknoledgment of me & my mental illness, she'd always make it about herself, if I even mentioned anything about me battling on a daily basis with my MI, she'd constanstly make comparisions between her & myself & our situations, she'd minimise anything I said & gaslight me when I mentioned early childhood memories of what I remembered from when she was younger. Her toxic-ness eventually triggered me so bad that I had to stop communicating with her at all, for my own sanity. It hasnt been easy, & in the mean time Ive also dealing with some physically & medical issues. Back in May I asked my Dad if he would contact my mum to ask her on my behalf, because I was becoming deperate as I couldnt walk or do anything because of knee condition. He got back to me & told me that my mother had said, "No, she wouldnt come & help me". I was shocked & then I received a txt msg from her sayin she wasnt prepared to help me. She is my only family that lives close to me. I was so hurt by her response. Since then luckily Ive had some help through a mental health organisation at least, but it still hurts so much that my own mother has turned her back on me, especially when I needed family :( shes also blocked me on Facebook & I have tried to call & msg her in recent week & Ive gotten nothing back from her. I feel like she is punishing me for EVERYTHING & now I dont know how to move forward without feeling deeply hurt by her.