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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Closeted gay and workplace - should I come out?

Topic: Closeted gay and workplace - should I come out?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Cheep Cheep
    Cheep Cheep avatar
    1 posts
    28 August 2020

    Hi everyone,

    I'm in my thirties and working in a company I've been at for nearly 6 years. I also happen to be gay but my home life is not something I ever discuss at work. As I am climbing up the ranks, I'm wondering if it is important for me to divulge more about myself to strengthen workplace relationships and for networking?

    My workplace seems quite progressive with colleagues from different cultures and there is even another gay guy at work who is open. I've read news articles about gay people missing out on opportunities so I've been a bit reluctant to reveal this aspect of me.

    Anyone in the same boat as me? Maybe I can just stay quiet about my private life and still connect with others (at least until I'm in a sufficiently high position)?

    Thanks.

  2. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    8894 posts
    29 August 2020 in reply to Cheep Cheep

    Hello Cheep Cheep...

    We would like to warmly Welcome you to Beyond Blue...

    Congratulations on climbing up the ladder at work...Being employed for over 6 years in a job you like is great....and your proving to your managers, bosses etc..that you’re very competent at your work....well done..

    I am sorry...but I am not sure how to answer your question about your private life...When I was able to work I used to always keep my private life and work life completely separate...I am old school though...I think it depends on how much you want them to know..

    I really hope that by me welcoming you to the forums that your thread will be boosted to the front..and someone with insight into your question will pop in and help you with some good suggestions or talk things through with you...

    Kind thoughts with care Cheep Cheep..

    Grandy..

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    smallwolf avatar
    5565 posts
    29 August 2020 in reply to Cheep Cheep

    Hi and welcome to beyond blue.

    There is no right or wrong answer here. I guess if I put forward your story, what would say to me?

    I was working at in another company some time ago and there was a new employee hired. Before being introduced to the new person someone quietly told me he was gay. I just said "OK" but in my head I was thinking to myself so what! An extension of this is that won't determine how good or bad they may be at their job they were hired for. Perhaps... we are people first.

    From that perspective I don't need to know.

    On the flip side... Is this a concern to you? That people in your workplace do not _really_ know you. Or do you feel that you are not really yourself in the workplace?

    If you do a google search for...

    telling your workplace you are gay

    you might find some of the answers you are looking for and things to take into account. (You seem a smart person and would know what to avoid :) and on the 1st page of results there were a few articles I read.)

    I cannot imagine it would be easy for you and in making this decision and if you want to discuss this more I am here.

    Tim

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