Hello, I've been questioning my sexuality a lot over the years but especially the last two. I don't know whether I'm bi, omni, lesbian, asexual, or just really anything.
I remember all my crushes have been boys when I was younger, but had always said to others that if my crush/boy tried to ask me out, kiss me, hug, etc, I would always reject them because I never wanted to do that. This made me question recently if I even like them, or just like the idea of them. This is embarrassing but 2D men, ✨YES✨. Real men, idk probs not.
Last year when I became a bit more familiar with my sexuality, I realised I probably do like girls. (I'm not sure if I'm fully accepting that myself) but I recently had a crush on a girl, I wanted to kiss her and be with her with no hesitation. But the idea of sex is very eh, like I'm not interested in it and I think I would feel very uncomfortable ever doing it. I think I could have sex if my partner was interested in it.
The thing with sex is I always think about it, sometimes I have desire for it. But I don't think I would ever really actually wanna do it, it's seems really odd to me and not exciting. It's probably because I learnt what sex was very young and learnt BDSM and etc also at a very young age. So I'm just used it and I don't see the hype.
I thought I was lesbian after reading 'Am I Lesbian?' online docs, but then felt like maybe I could be missing out on guys, or maybe I don't like guys because I've never really had good experiences with them besides a couple who were my friends. Then I question if I even like girls because I rarely have crushes. When I was younger, I thought I liked a guy but realised I just found him really funny and fun to hang around.
I became a closeted lesbian, then omni, now asexual?? It's so confusing and I know it's not something to rush but I don't think I'll ever find out since I don't like having crushes or no one ever really likes me so it makes it even harder to find out. I don't like feeling confused so I'm pretty desperate to figure it out.
Any advice or opinions?