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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / How should i come out to my best friend ben?

Topic: How should i come out to my best friend ben?

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. rumoi
    rumoi avatar
    1 posts
    4 April 2021
    The title says it all, I am gay and I'd like to come out to my best friend.
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    5483 posts
    4 April 2021 in reply to rumoi

    hi and welcome to the forums.

    there are many conversations in life that can be difficult. And there are some others.

    the worst one for myself was talking about suicide with my wife. Although that one I was with wife near the laundry. Mostly we would chat at a coffee shop. Whether you invite them over, or go out somewhere, initiating a chat can be hardest bit. Once started though ... hard to turn back and redo, and there can also be a feeling of the weight being lifted off your shoulders - it sounds like the "not telling" is weighing you down?

    And for me, it typically starts with... "there is something i have to tell you..."

    True friends are supportive.

    Having said all of that, you can easily put that question out to google and see some of the stories on the first page. Finally, if you want to do it, go for it. If you don't want to ... that is also OK. It does not make you fake.

    Tim

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10168 posts
    4 April 2021 in reply to rumoi

    Dear Rumoi~

    I'd like to join Tim in welcoming you here. I think he is right that true friends are supportive, and that holds true if they too are gay or not.

    You are not alone in facing this, coming out to someone whose place in your life you value can be very hard and has to be coped with by many..

    Can I suggest you can find a lot of help on this and other problems from the phone line and web-chat at Qlife which runs from 3pm to midnight every day? Have a brows around the site first if you are unsure. Their FAQ answers most questions about what they do and who they are.

    1800 184 527
    www.qlife.org.au

    Please let us know how you get on

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  4. socialmoth
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    socialmoth avatar
    79 posts
    4 April 2021 in reply to rumoi

    Hi Rumoi,

    I definitely understand why you are asking this question. Coming out to someone who you really care about can be one of the most terrifying and vulnerable things you do. However, it definitely doesn't have to be.

    Like smallwolf mentioned, true friends are supportive, and while you can't guarantee a reaction from someone, the most important thing is that you give it a go. Just start the conversation and rip off the bandaid.

    Good luck :)

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