so I fell in love with my support worker, it ended badly. I'm not coping well. I've been seeing an escort since late November, I thought it would be easier to experiment to see if I am gay with a professional, you might say. It has worked out well for me, it has given me someone to talk to as well, so it's not just about the intimacy.
Now I am stressed out, what if I never find a partner? I kinda feel like I spend all my money on the escort and buying lotto tickets so I can spend more time with her. It's a weird situation. Plus my Mother has always said if I am gay she'd disown me, so got to keep that secret.
Sad part is my mental health support person got a restraining order against me, she couldn't deal with the fact I was flirting with her, buying her gifts, etc so she got an AVO. I just accepted it. I don't want anything to do with her anyway. So hard when I have barely anyone to talk to about this.