Hello, I am new to this site, and I joined so that I could ask this question. I'll keep all of this as brief as possible. I just need some advice.
My girlfriend and I (yes, I am a woman too) have been together for 2 years now. And we just started talking about the possibility of children in our future. I really want them, and always have, while she hates children. She told me that I have to decide between her or 'the baby.' That pretty much means choosing her wants and needs or mine.
She worried that I wouldn't be happy with her because of that issue, and we both had a day to think about it. The whole time, I talked to my best friend about it. I complained, but not once did I mention anything about children.
I noticed that she treats me like garbage and I feel under appreciated.
She has gotten better, yes, but it is not enough. She told me that she can't change anymore. Well... I'm sorry, I need to feel loved. I feel more like her slave than the person she loves. She doesn't want to have sex unless we role-play and pretend to be someone else. She says she can't get excited if it's just me. And yet, she says I'm beautiful and attractive. She says it's 'just the way she is' and that 'she can't help it.' I told her that I accepted it, and I did for a while for her. But I need that reassurance that she thinks I'm beautiful.
Right now we have a long distance relationship, but she will be coming back in a few months. We talk online sometimes with a video chat, and she even tells me that she looks at herself in the video more than she looks at me. It makes me feel so... like I'm not even there.
And very recently, she told me that she had to rethink our relationship just a few weeks ago because she was worried about why she was with me. She said she was worried that she was in our relationship because I loved her, and that was enough for her. Me loving her made her happy? What about loving me too?
I honestly saw a future with her, but luckily I brought up the subject of children, otherwise I would have been in a bigger mess than I am now. Any comments would be great. I know that I should break up with her, I just... she says she never felt this way about anyone else. And that she loves me more than anyone. And if that's as much love as she can show, then... she's pitiful.
I needed to get all of this put in the open, honestly. Thank you for listening.