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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Questioning if I’m lesbian (*´꒳`*)

Topic: Questioning if I’m lesbian (*´꒳`*)

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Space girl
    Space girl avatar
    1 posts
    29 June 2021

    Hi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

    I’m in the middle of questioning my sexuality and I just feel really alone right now. I feel like I have to like men and I’m really scared about being wrong about my sexuality.

    I’ve had this crush on my non-binary friend for ages and I just can’t (>_<)… I’ve tried so hard to get over them but I just like them so much!

    My parents wouldn’t mind but my dad doesn’t understand certain things in the lgbtq community and it’s really frustrating. Every time I mention to my mum that I might not like boys she shuts me down and tells me that I don’t know yet. Which is true but I don’t find men attractive.

    It’s just so hard! I know I’m really lucky to have parents and friends that would support me :) but I’m just really conflicted and confused. I feel like I shouldn’t like girls even though I am a huge supporter of the lgbtq community.

    anyway thank you for paying attention to my rant (о´∀`о)

    I hope you have a nice day/night 💗

  2. eight
    eight avatar
    372 posts
    30 June 2021 in reply to Space girl

    if you haven't heard of compulsory heterosexuality thats a concept i think you should research since i think that would resonate a lot with you.

    to summarise the original 1980 essay by adrienne rich that coined it its an institution that forces women to be with men regardless of their sexuality. and this is esp hard for lesbians who rich defines as "sense of self of a woman bonded primarily to women who is sexually and emotionally independent of men". the most i can say is if you want to be a lesbian you can

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    5514 posts
    30 June 2021 in reply to Space girl

    Hi space girl and welcome to beyond blue forums. What a cool name you have here!

    My first thought is that everywhere you look it is heterosexual. So if you don't conform then you must be the odd one out? Also, as you walk around a shopping centre there are also no signs on anyone to indicate their sexuality. You are you and you are special, who deserves to find that special other person to spend your life with. I can imagine then it would be confusing then to work out where you fit, what box to put yourself into. (With my psychologist or GP I tell them I don't fit into any category with my own issues. Really frustrating) if you knew where you were things would be so much easier?

    Perhaps talk to others in that space and how they worked it out. Read others stories.

    What do you want to do? Or be?

    On mum shutting you down... Many possibilities here and perhaps talk about the confusion you feel at the moment. If this situation is concerning for you. It sounds like you have a reasonable relationship with your parents from what you said.

    Tim

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