Hi pinwheel and Sophie_M. Over the years I have managed to attach myself to a women's craft group and art group. We are suppose to do arts and craft but I mostly gas bag - I love chatting - just like my Mum always did before she developed dementia. Even though the experiences have been negative I have learned a lot about people. Bullies can't be reasoned with so there is no point in trying. As for my family it was a psychologist who warned me that I belonged to an 'enmeshed family'. She read the emails and letters that family were sending me and she asked, "Do you think you can live without your family?". I said, " I don't know - my family has been my world". She replied - I think you will need to live without them, they will continue to do what they do ( pushing my buttons), because that is how they want to control you (and my emotions). So I progressively broke with them but that just infuriated them and things got worse. I didn't really understand the DVO system and didn't use it. But slowly they gave up on pushing my buttons, left me alone, and peace returned. Interestingly I found the same techniques used by my family are the same as used by the Lutheran Church. After all - in this country we of German decent are one big extended family. I think my family inherited the Lutheran habit of trying to force conformity. There are no secrets between congregations. So I think it is all a case of my sister's illness, extreme conservatism, and the Lutheran Churches' culture. But as far as family is concerned that is in years pass. As far as the Church is concerned it is their culture. Thankfully my Doctor is aware of both and how they have played out in my life and he has been supportive. So, I am not alone - there is support as well as Beyond Blue. the hardest part recently has been the social isolation that the lock down brought. No arts and craft activities could happen, no church could happen, and there was no family available for support. But now that the activities are happening again things are improving. In fact today another lady at the art group gave me her contact details to phone her if I ever needed someone to talk to. There are people in the world who care but surprisingly not from where I would have expected. There are wonderful people in the world - one just needs to seek them out and not lose hope.