Hi Harpbird,

Thank you for your kind words regarding my interview. I took your advice about taking a more laid back approach to the interview and I think it went well.

My fingers are still crossed, it makes typing difficult lol! I hope that things are OK in your life.

Regards,

Emo.

Hi Matchy,

Thank you for your kind words about my interview. I haven't heard back yet but I will let you know how it goes. It was terrifying but its a fear I have to cope with if I want to start my life again.

I have been following your thread and your recent surgery. I'm not sure what the surgery was for as I think I missed that post but I hope that you are starting to feel better soon.

You are such a caring person to reach out to others when you are going through so much yourself. I know that you have made a huge difference to other peoples lives. You should be so proud of yourself.

Regards,

Emo.

knowing u are alone makes things so much easier

someetimes u feel like no one else has ever gone through the same stuff, and it's really hard to feel that way. thanks mark for sharing ur experiences to help ppl feel seen

Hello again mb. I've always been a night owl when the majority are resting. It's a time where I get most creative out of the 24hrs in day. What would you like to chat about mb?

Hello mb, I've been reading some of your posts with others and Sophie M included encouraging you to stay afloat. Yes things are really difficult for you so Please.... take up some of those suggestions that others have given you. It's Your Time to look after yourself. Perhaps browsing on the thread about Self Care. I found it's very motivating and no doubt it may help you too. You're a precious gentle soul who's always encouraging others with your kind hearted words. It's your turn now.. at times medications take a while to work. t

There are still so many beautiful things to think about. Yes, it's EXTREMELY difficult to reverse a negative thought into a positive thought. Sometimes it just doesn't come. Being here on the beyond blue forum is an positive move. mb I'm not an insomniac. its my body clock that's gone out of whack and to correct hasn't been an easy task so i Try to do one little at a time. No matter how small.it is, it's still a positive move.

mb, have you any interests?and would you like to share with me? With kind regards

Goodmorning mb and those reading. I'm sorry if I came about the wrong way. This is all very new for me. I've never talked/chatted with anyone online other than those here on the beyond blue forums. I'm sorry mb in case I've have imposed on your private matters. It wasn't intentional. I've decided just to stick to my introduction and welcome thread and some of the staying well threads where I feel in a "safe place" for me at present.

I felt I've overstepped my boundaries..

Just hopped into bed all happy and satisfied of what I've accomplished during the night. This Owl ready to knock off from all night shift duty work... with kind regards

Hi Everyone,

I'm feeling completely overwhelmed right now. I didn't get the job that I was interviewed for which has broken me as I feel like I've lost my last chance to finally get freedom. It really hurts.

I've also been dealt another terrible punch in the stomach as I've just found out that my Uncle is extremely sick and they don't think he will make it through the night. It's all happened in the last few hours.

I don't know what to do, I'm trying to stay strong but its all just a blur right now. I was already feeling very depressed as I approach the first easter without my dad. I know nothing will ever be the same again but I just want to be able to stop crying for a while.

I was going so well with my dads passing but it's gotten really bad in the last few weeks. I feel like I'm drowning but I'm trying to come to the surface but someone is holding me down under the water.

I'm sorry, I think this has turned into a muddled mess of words but I'm just so lost right now. I just want to get my life back.

Regards,

Emo.

Emo.so sorry s out the job and that you are not doing so well.
you have tried so hard and it seems unfair to miss out on the job.

You are a strong person and you are supported here.

Hi Emo,

You’ve had a lot to deal with!

I understand approaching Easter brings up all sorts of difficult thoughts and feelings when we’ve lost someone dear to us. I struggle with it too.

But you will be able to move forward. When we’re overwhelmed it can take a bit of time and self care to be able to see it.

Big hugs from me too Emo xx

Hi all, only just found this thread again. Came to ask if anyone is awake.

Malaika - yes, I go on positive threads such as the self care often. 

Hi Lillylane,

Thank you for your kind words. I'm in a very bad place right now. I can't stop thinking very bad thoughts. I'm trying to fight against it.

I can't reach out for help.

I'm so sorry I should be keeping these thoughts to myself but I'm hurting so much. I just need some help so badly.

Regards,

Emo.

It’s OK Emo, no need to apologise. I’m sorry to hear you’re hurting and hope you feel safe to share with us here.

Take care,
Lillylane

Hi Sophie M,

Thank you for your kind words and your concern. I'm so sorry that I'm not replying to everyone individually who has reached out to me and offered their support but my situation has worsened.

The abuse I am suffering has increased so I made the right decision after a suggestion from the Beyond Blue team to contact 1800 Respect. I have been trying to protect my husband from getting into trouble but its come down to my life.

I had a kind but very blunt lady who I web chatted with. She made me see that my husbands not protecting me in what he's doing to me so why am I trying so hard to protect him.

I think I needed a bit of tough love. I'm so sorry and I hope that you will all forgive me but I will be taking a break from the forums for a while until my mental health is in a better place. I may also be homeless again so I will be without a device to reply to anyone.

Please know that I truly appreciate everyone's kind words as I feel truly alone with no one I can talk to as I'm completely by myself as my mother now refuses to talk to me as she says I should be just happy that he even wants to touch me.

Its taken me a while but I realise now that I can't have her in my life any more as she is too toxic to my mental health. I deserve better. I'm really trying, I hope I'm not letting anyone down. Thank you.

Regards,

Emo.

Pleased to say my training, l call it , is going very well and as long as l can by pass bad thoughts at the time l'm back to crashing at12 -1am'ish now. Usually wake about 7 , poke around on the pc for awhile then get up for work but l am getting some sleep.

rx

God yeah you need it for the kids for sure.

l've been at it 12 mths now , slight relapse for 2mths in that , bad thoughts , but l'm back on track. Pretty pleased with it really l've gone from yrs n yrs of 2 n 3hrs a night to a good 6-7-sometimes even 8hrs now.

Dearest Emo

You're not letting anyone down by taking a break. Big hugs!

We all care about you and what that 1800RESPECT Counsellor said is 100% correct.

Keep safe!

Love EMxxxx

Hey rx

Those are really impressive positive changes to your sleep patterns!

Maybe those delicious tomatoes you grew are helping?
lol.

Just joking, all your rewards are from all YOUR hard work and discipline!
WELL DONE YOU.

I'm off to make some tucker and bought some fancy textas at Officeworks to play with.
I'm gonna hang out with the kids and get out all our textas!

Hope that everyone is keeping well.

Love EM

Hi night owls!

EM love the fancy highlighters. Cute!

Lately i've been thinking my insomnia is just anxiety (No "Just" - anxiety is huge....but anyways...)

more anxious = less sleep for me.

I was very anxious for a few days and kept up all through the night. I was able to resolve the anxiety and got a decent night sleep. Now tonight I'm quite anxious again so that's hard.
No sleep for me.
I'm in acceptance mode. There are always difficult nights for me.
Even if we talk about sleep hygiene, rain sounds, and all that cool stuff, it's fun, but still, I can't sleep.

For now.
Always staying open to change. But for now.