We have many members here that are not happy with themselves, their personality nor their character. Low self esteem is the result, trying hard to be like everyone else around them and accepted as an equal. This leads to desperately wanting change within, such change impossible to fulfill. How do you re-invent yourself?
Imagine your car is over heating. You realise you only have water in your radiator so you replace it with proper coolant. It no longer overheats however you haven't changed the car in any other way, it just performs more reliably. Such a subtle change has huge results but the character of the vehicle is the same.
If we all changed our character fully then we'd all be sheep, look the same, bah bah the same etc. We should always embrace our uniqueness. Subtle change is achievable but often needs professional guidance by those that can see things more clearer and are trained to help you find the best out of who you are. Like many changes, professional help is one avenue recommended but self help is always a good journey to pursue.
- Read- the internet has a vast amount of information you can source about human behavior
- Listen- to friends and family about what behavior is unacceptable or too weird for most people's tolerance
- Act- put theory into action, theory itself isn't enough.
- Ask- this is tricky. Making behavioural/reactionary changes then asking others brings along the spotlight. Better to wait for others to give positive comment and just feel good about the response.
- Continuation- the introduction of subtle changes doesn't have to stop. Over time it can become routine and that makes it a simple task eg "I'm going to stop talking about myself so much and begin asking others about their lives". No longer can others claim you are self centred.
- Achievability- Sometimes the temptation arrives because we admire a quality in another person. A friend might be capable of being popular and talkative. Find you own niche, you might be more at ease with one or two close friends than having 10 acquaintances that really aren't friends!
- The grass is greener- When we observe others we admire- it doesn't always mean their situation is ideal. Some people just like us seem happier, no problems etc. Your happiness depends on your ability to enjoy your grass on your own property, even believing its greener than over the fence. Happiness can be an illusion in others.
Subtle changes are good, it leads to you becoming a better version of yourself.