Hey hey The Big Blue!! Welcome to the self-care thread and we're so glad you're here!

Nice one having a chat with your support worker.... some of our support people are wonderful, hey?

I couldn't do it without my reassuring Counsellor. She's an ANGEL. But tells it to me straight when she needs to, so that's what I want. Lol.

Ahhh Sleepy bbg lol... your day sounds nice. I'm SUPER loving the fresh fruit salads I'm making too. There's a mango calling me atm but I'm leaving it till I get home tomorrow, something to look forward to.

I'm hitting the sack peeps!

Any suggestions of FUNNY stuff on Netflix?
I thought Man Down was HILARIOUS lol.

I'll check out ABC iView tonight, it seems to be diminishing with my faves!
UGH!

Talk tomorrow.

Love EM

Thanks Sleepy, it was an okay sleep. Nice cool night which was enjoyable lol.

Woke up to a shambles in my home with kids not wanting to go to school... not happy with that.

Plus a HOT one so no whipper snippering today. No.

My self-care:
* having a cuppa with my darling blind chicken in the garden, 2 cuppas in fact, she's not having one lol she's eating seed!

* coming onto BB forums

* will have a wash soon and get ready for a funeral today. Feeling anxious about it tbh, the grief is overwhelming for this family.

* Prayed for this family and all of us here as we battle through this thing called life sometimes.

Love EM

Hiya,

thought i'd pop over and say hi and see how everyone else is going with self-care- good idea ecomama!

I shared on em's gardening thread about how I've just finished studying- well I hope I have! Unless I get a resubmit on something lol. And sitting here thinking about what to write all I can think is wow, I really need some time to myself to just chill, and garden, and make stuff, and even cry a bit cos I know that this time of year hits me so hard and I've got to prepare and look after myself. I feel kinda teary just thinking about self care so I guess thats a sign.

Blues clues I hear what you shared about caring for others, and how hard it makes it to care for self. It must be really hard, and I hope that you have some more lovely walks and that things get easier with your man. I think sometimes when we're good at caring for people, others see that and don't recognise how much of an effort it is, cos we make it look easy I guess. And so then, well we don't get any recognition, cos it's easy for us, right, and it's also easy to leave it all to us. I helped to care for my nan when she went into a nursing home, cos it was so hard to see her struggling to adjust. I am still glad that I was able to spend that time with her, even tho some days it was such a struggle.

I'm not sure what I'm doing for my self care today, apart from coming on the forum and chatting which I haven't been able to do for a few days. I'm sort of resting and ignoring the piles of stuff to do....it can wait. Maybe I'll have a nice glass of wine in the garden later, and skip cooking dinner. Can you do that when you have a family?? Surely we can live on cheese and bikkies for a night?

Cheers

J*

I would not call these self care, but these are three things I did today.

Called a friend of my father's who has been helping me, she has been a bit sick so I called her to try to cheer her up, even though she is trying to keep me going, I think she may have been a bit flabbergasted.
It was nice to talk about something other than me and dad, if only for a short time. I have a nice card and gift for her she doesn't know about, I'll give it to her next week, try to sneak it into her car when her back is turned and then dip.


Had to fix up my bank account, made sure I had to walk to the furthest branch so I could be out of the house for as long as possible, along the way I placed Christmas cards in random letter boxes, they'll probably throw them away, but I hope one person reads one and gets a small smile to brighten their day.

I suppose this one is self care, I bought myself some new clothes, I guess habits are hard to break as I bought a shirt for dad too, I don't know what to do with it...

I stopped at a fast food place on the way home, a fella asked for some change so I bought him a coffee.

I felt good walking home, but when I got in the door all of that elation drained away, oh well, I hope that fella I gave the coffee too, or someone who finds a card, has a better day.

HI J* and HI pl515p1 (maybe I'll just call you Phoebe lol... another pretend name would do, if you have any suggestions!)

And a wave to all the other self-care peeps too!

Thankyou both for your posts.

J* you wrote so much truth about ppl who are caring for others... it's VERY hard but what would we do without these treasured people in our lives hey?
It's just what we do... with a BIG BUT and that BUT is self-care.

Trying some "radical self-care" might be in store for ALL of us as we go through the thoughts and feelings this season can bring. Yes you can Google it, it's actually a thing lol.

You MIGHT like to try a NEW TRADITION for this season and weekly or daily if you choose.

I began this thread BECAUSE my Counsellor had told me I had to do MORE self-care, then it was reinforced later with another family crisis, when I spoke to a 1800RESPECT trauma psych, when she said "RADICAL SELF-CARE" and about that loud too lol!!!

Making a habit of doing these also. ESPECIALLY in times of struggle.

I really love all the random acts of kindness you put out there Phoebe. You have NO IDEA how much you may have brightened someone's day. I started a RAOK thread but it's since fallen away.

Being kind to ourselves and giving to OURSELVES can be almost impossible in our minds but doing any things that spark joy for us will surely help us in our healing journeys.

The funeral I went to today was really beautiful.

My day is still going with swapping cars around, 2 broken down in our family and it's wreaked havoc atm and will do so for weeks.

Tomorrow lol... my self-care includes visiting the dentist again for pretty major surgery.
I hope I can see straight to post tomorrow lol!

But today I am grateful for the funny, silly, gorgeous relationships I have with others.
I can smile pretty wide because of those.

Love EM

Heya,

so it really did work to suggest bikkies and cheese for dinner, and then just drink wine....

Totally spun my kid out, cos I'm ALWAYS sober and responsible, but hey. Felt good. Hubby cooked some kebabs on BBQ and I slung my body in a comfy chair and we all hung outside listening and groovin to music. Does that count as self care? feels great now, maybe tomoz it will feel different. So let me see, drink wine #1 Not cook dinner #2 Dance to music from 80's #3 haha lol Wow I still recognise myself!

Em I don't know about funny, but watched Hillbilly Elegy on netflix- stayed with me for a while. Sweet and real with a happy ending :)

Phoebe (Is that ok?) I would love it if I found your card in my box- how sweet are you!! Omygosh, come and live in my street! Maybe we'll do that. It won't be nearly as random, cos we know most of our street even if its just a wave from the car (small town life lol) But hey. kindness is awesome. RAOK !!

love ya peeps!

J*

Hey J*

I think those # self-care activities are EXACTLY what the Dr ordered LOL!
Well done!

Hey and don't hog Phoebe all to yourself because she's coming to live in OUR street!
Maybe we can share her lol.

How bout it Phoebe? aka pl515p1?

Luv youse all too...
EMxxxx

Hey,

Thanks Em, I know that drinking isn't always a wellbeing thing, but tonite, for me, after months of being very disciplined.... :) shrug.......

so phoebe is probably Peter, ...? Sorry p15 - you sound lovely. I think we all want you in our street!

So sorry to read of your loss p15, it truly sounds like you had an amazing bond with your dad.

I am so encouraged actually to read of you and your dad, and know that you will get through this time, and grow strong and carry your dad onwards into the world, cos thats how we honour the people we love, don't you think?

I love that it's ok here to talk about crying. It's just so real to hurt and cry, and talk about it. Life is just not all roses!

Sleepy- hillbilly elegy is a book? I'm searching now! It was very powerful. I'll have to read it to see if the movie did it justice.

G'nite beautiful people!

J*

Hey Sleepy! Nice to "see" you lol.

Sounds interesting this Hillbilly Elegy... it would be interesting to hear BFs take on it since he's an American lol!

Hey J* and Phoebe Paul lol... or Persephone maybe?

Talking to us about sadness and crying and CRYING itself is AOK, more than that it's IMPORTANT to do! I understand that by crying we release healing hormones...
It's important to me that people cry when they need to.

I cried alot today with my friends at the funeral.
It was so beautiful.

I thought that maybe I need false eyelashes after all since my mascara was running amok.
And I needed eye drops from rubbing them...

Some more self-care ahead.

Oh gosh J* go ahead.
No one's going to criticise you here!!!

I'm happy you ALLOWED yourself to let your hair down and change the routine up alot for yourself and ALL your family. Noice!

We used to do similar every Friday night.
It was a family tradition we all loved.

Now everyone's working, we grab time when we can.
Hopefully over the school hols we can do stuff like that alot more.

SO I must get a small store of appetisers for those impromptu times when it can happen.

Thanks for the great input J* and Persephone and Sleepy.

You ALL make the world a far better place!

LOVE EMxxxx

Hey Em,

funerals are tough. I hope the person whos life you celebrated went in a good way- if that makes sense. I know that with my nan I was glad for her when her body finally left this earth- she was so tired. She used to say- I don't know why the good Lord still has me here!

But I knew. It was for us. I learnt sooo much from my nan, and a good half of it was in those last few years she had. So many lessons in death, as in life. So much beauty, if we can get past our attachment.

I really love that stuff about healing hormones! you are full of good stuff! I often think of God catching our tears, kinda like Harry Potter catches Snapes tears at the last, and watches his most precious memories...... Surely it is our heartfelt emotions which are most precious.

My wine has worn off. Must be time for bed.

night,

J*

Hi J* and other self-carers

Yes, there's so much involved in recovering from a loved one's passing. I learnt alot from all my Nanas.

My self-care so far has been:

* buying a take away breakfast

* relaxing in my pyjamas this morning

* had cups of tea in the garden with my chickens.

Love EM

Hi everyone!

my recent self care has been

watering my little plant box and seedlings - I have sprouts haha

took a little walk last night to look at some christmas lights.

bought an extra coffee today.

leaving the air con on for longer to cool the house down.

Hi all,

Well I needed a bit of self care today, after my self care last nite lol!

But unfortunately telstra didn't know that urgh!

So I let daughter and friend do the Xmas tree, however they wanted- my ocd went on leave!

And I'm doing easy dinner- chick nuggets and leftover pasta bake-

And I haven't decided yet if wine is good for me today or not lol...hmm...Maybe I'll take a bath instead.

The rain is softening all the edges of life and making it easy to stay home. Thankyou!

It's nice to try and think of things I can do so I can put it here :)

Gambit your little garden sounds like a promise to watch unfolding 🌱

Cheers

J*

Hi everyone,

Good work all. Have had a trying week, though not a wholly bad one. Here to remind myself to keep up the self care (my partner also came in here, saw me doing jobs, and politely informed me self care is on my daily roster and I have to do it, haha. Today,

1) Technically a job, but also self care - checked again if I'm eligible for a Health Care Card (they periodically change the income threshold), and it looks like I may finally get one. Have applied.

2) Having a little drinkie, trying to chill a bit before bed.

3) Did my physio exercises. Back has been extra bad lately. Helped a bit.

Hi all, been away from BB for A little while. Great self care all.

1. Listened to Audio book in the car while driving

2. Had a walk in the garden

3. so, right now im watching batman with my son. There was a good quote...why do we fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again!” - i thought that was apt.

Not_Batman (no seriously)

Hey self-care BBers!!

WOW I'M SO IMPRESSED at everyone's self-care!
Look at how varied and wonderful the self-care is. It's like a new world opening up to us all.
Thankyou all for sharing, it's really helping all of us.

Hey Gambit! SPROUTS! YIPPEE!
I'm so happy for you venturing into the world of gardening. Non gardeners just don't get how wonderful that feeling is of seeing our little sprouts coming up. Grow for Papa lol.

Lol J*! I'm glad your OCD can take leave. I LOVE your Christmas Tree lol it's SO PRETTY!
Congrats on finishing your Uni this year too.

Hey Blue's! We've missed you. Wow I really hope you get that Health Care card, fantastic news.
Ofcourse that's self-care lol. Good on LM for making you do s-c.
Perhaps he's seeing a lighter Blue?
Hope so sweety girl.

Hey Not_Batman! lol. Nice to see you back!
Your self-care sounds sweet. Fancy watching Batman hey.

EMxxxx

My self-care for today:

* I took it easy after the dental surgery yesterday

* slept in

* spoke with fiancee for ages and had a lovely catch up. He's flying out somewhere again next week.

* did a little pottering and watering in the garden with my chooks for company - adorable things they are, they loved mamas company lol and I loved theirs.

* put on make up and my new earrings

* took youngest d to a popular seaside town and had lunch together then went for ice cream

* will have a nap soon.

Love EM

Hi all,

Is it my imagination, EM, or are your lists getting longer? Good work.

Today/last night:

- Lots of snuggles with birds. Meditated with them happily using me as their jungle gym.

- Forest walk after work. Really needed it. Had a grey fantail keeping me company. Cute little guy.

- Leftover Indian for dinner. Forgot I had it. Score! And some black forest cake my sister made. She did a brilliant job of it.

Lol.... I could see you happily meditating with the birdies crawling all over you and a BIG smile on your face! Gave me a chuckle Blue.

Birds are the sweetest! A flock of lorikeets flew past me, making their usual noises, whilst I was talking to BF on the phone. I had to tell him that sound was a flock of lorikeets and he laughed. He can pick kookaburras and cockatoos and our chickens (he even knows which chicken is which - pretty spectacular there) but those sounds baffled him today lol.
He loves the sounds of Australia.

PUSH into your time off Blue... I'll be doing this more and more with you next year. Let's hold on for the ride!

Ahh yes I must be doing more self-care. I can't quite believe those words are in the same sentence lol!

Not quite sure if that psych would say it's at "radical" level yet but hey it's climbing!

WHAT A SCORE for the Indian and cake - yay! Don't you just love that?

I have more to add:

* actually used make up remover to take off my make up before...

* having a light nap

* put a heavy moisturiser on my face that was a gift

* bought Chinese food for dinner, just in the nick of time. That should do me for 3 nights. The kids will be out all over the place.

Almost radical lol.

Love EM

Hey monkey!

I'm so glad you posted these here.... I was full of admiration of them when you posted these on my thread today!

GO YOU!

I saw an advert yesterday in the dental surgery about a product I think you said you used.
I'll ask you about it on your thread.

Hope that BBQ goes ahead tomorrow and you have a blast!

Happy days!

Love EM

- listened to a relaxing playlist of Bon Iver

- Went for a drive

- Watched a bit of a movie

Awww those sound lovely Sleepy!

GO YOU!

Today I:

* still took it easy, am following Drs orders to a T lol...

* ate some yummy leftover Chinese for dinner

* spent some time in the garden lol as per usual!

* set up our new Christmas Tree and had to do a lot of clearing and cleaning to do it, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

EMxxxx

- went to support group

- said "no" when asked to join something that felt wrong

- Read a few pages

Hi all.
a little too hot to do much. Has to be lazy day.

had a sleep in

put up some Christmas decorations out the front of the house

had a nap on the couch

saw some friends

had a nap on the bed

does anyone else get really tired when its hot?

Not_Batman

Hi everyone,

As usual, I'm seeing great things. Loving that assertiveness, Sleepy. EM, your picture of my meditation is 100% accurate, haha. Thinking of lorikeets, Sir Pecks does a great lorikeet impression. His song begins with adorable tweets, and finishes with "Tweet, tweet, tweet, SKRAARK!"

Pushing into time off... Working on it. Today:

- Did the minimum necessary for a competent pleb at work and nothing more.

- Took a walk at a nature trail after work. Not a long one, but it was refreshing. Big butterflies all over the place.

- Had a lie down when I got home. Not quite a nap, but there's a definite trend appearing in this thread...

- Finished watching The Stranger. It was good.

- Reminded myself of the importance of self care. It's not just for me - if I'm overworked I get sick easily, and aside from not being any use to him if I'm sick, any communicable illness I get is a significant danger to my partner. That is to say, my self care is a priority for him as much as for me.

Hey Sleepy beautiful girl, I hope the support group was a comforting and positive experience.

It's always good to follow your instincts on something (I've been told), I'm glad you said no to that event.

Take care our friend!

Not_Batman, I think it's pretty normal to become tired with the heat.
If you're concerned then see your GP.
A couple of my children are getting bloods done to check for iron levels etc.
You got lots done regardless!!

Hey Blue's, yep it's a THING this self-care jibe... it's so NORMAL for so many people, not sure why it's not so easy for me and others.
I think you hit the nail on the head!

I'm feeling pretty rugged from the surgery on Friday. I could still feel the anaesthetic hadn't worn off completely last night. I sure felt it since!

SO my self-care:
* resting as much as possible, sleeping, napping, reducing activity

* eating healthy food and drinks

* drinking lots of water

* keeping up with anti-biotics and pain relief.

2 days left of work before my leave starts and it couldn't come quickly enough!

EMxxxx