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Forums / Staying well / Vent and Let it go...

Topic: Vent and Let it go...

  1. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    2903 posts
    29 March 2021

    the words some ppl use to talk about mental health.... like in casual conversation... or occasionally whn i call lifeline.. just not ok

    "So, how long have you had MH issues"
    "How bad is your illness?"

    etc etc etc

    taking away my power to define who i am. summarising a person's life and feeling with archaic, limited terms....

    i'd rather define my own story than fit in some stupid box for ppl's convenience.

    4 people found this helpful
  2. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    29 March 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    I completely agree Sleepy
  3. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    29 March 2021

    How can some people think bullying of any kind - online, in person, anything, is ok? And when it's on a group chat, a moderated one? Not here, I have no issues with here.

    Why does this stuff happen to me? Then it was deleted and made to look like I made it up. Sigh. What have I ever done?

  4. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2013 posts
    30 March 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Sorry mb , online is brutal in any form mostly l've found. And the minute you think you have understanding or a special something with someone, it turns out you didn't and they don't have a clue , or they jump all over you for the tiniest stupid thing.

    l've been in forums for yrs and only made 1 or 2 real friends in all that time, considering there would've been dozen even 100s a long the way l'd have considered friends at first , 1 or 2 at last though. Thank the Gods bb seems to have a bit more understanding and respect around and you even see people developing real friendships.

    Makes a nice change doesn't it. rx

    1 person found this helpful
  5. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    157 posts
    30 March 2021

    All he was concerned about was girls who were out of his league. When I asked to be with him I was being ‘unreasonable’ and ‘selfish’ even though most times we were together we would be at an event or at a friend’s house.

    he was so concerned about his music and gaming. He asked me to go and see him and all he would do is play his XBox. And I did not live just around the corner, about a fifty minute drive.

    He was so willing to write to the girl who he said had a crush on but when I wanted to exchange love letters he said that was ‘pointless’ yet he knew I was an old soul and loved letter writing. Why would you still be concerned about a girl you are not with? Why couldn’t you just make more of an effort with the girl you were actually seeing?????????

    Other girls were attractive and beautiful. Yet I was embarrassing looking?

    never ever again!!

    1 person found this helpful
  6. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    30 March 2021
    Sick of trying to be good enough, sick of everything I do and say not being right and good enough for anyone. Sick of being around.
  7. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Matchy69 avatar
    4584 posts
    30 March 2021 in reply to mb20lover
    Tayla you are good enough and pleasure to always talk to.zyou have such a warm caring nature.
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    30 March 2021

    Sometimes it just hurts. It hurts when you rely on others to love you and they don't all the time.

    They may be tired and that is why they may speak in frustration at you.

    They may be irritable because they are tired and absolutely have no patience

    They may have had a stressful day at work and need to be by themselves for a bit. It doesn't mean they don't care about me does it? Even if it seems like they are avoiding me.

    I want to not take it personally when all this happens to me.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    30 March 2021 in reply to Shelll
    I know the feeling Shell. You are loved. You're loved on here, including by me (in a friendly way of course).
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    30 March 2021 in reply to mb20lover
    :-) Tayla
  11. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    31 March 2021

    It just feels so sad. I am not sure what happened, something was and is different with me.

    We were getting along fine. But something switched and now it feels like he despises me.

  12. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    31 March 2021
    There is an uneasiness and unrest in me. Don't like it
  13. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2013 posts
    31 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    lt can be totally draining and exhausting for the other , totally , burn out, and often just too much to ask imo, . So we really need to remember that and to do what we can to make things easier for them. and to give back too. Think you should talk to him shell.

    rx

    1 person found this helpful
  14. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    31 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Not at all Mark
  15. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2013 posts
    31 March 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Yaknow , day by day been goin on a few yrs now getting worse and worse, but l feel bloody traumatized by the idiocy of Australian tv ads and news. Yaknow, they can ttry an educational softer approach about bloody anything.

    Everything is a threat or horror ad , bush fires, car accidents , getting drunk, threat of massive fines, smoking, all of it , it's all threats threats threats . Meanwhile they put all this horror into people subconscious. The news is just as bad. Had a friend of a friend come back after living in UK 10yrs and she could not believe the tv and ads here now.She said even on the news over there you saw very little of murders or crashes or all the horrors and threats they splatter our news and tv with. She actually said my God this bs is bloody terrible how do Australians cope with this crap thrown at them left and right and that she literally felt traumatized by it all so in your face only wks after being back.

    Well l'm not bloody surprised . No good will in this country , it's all just threats and scare mongering , makes me bloody sick to the stomach .

    ex

    1 person found this helpful
  16. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    31 March 2021

    i seem to be going through so much lately, and i feel so alone.

    This lady in my street was rude. she came up to my house at 8pm at night randomly, although we spoke to her earlier that day. she was there until nearly 11pm. i told her i had to take my medication and i had to go. she didn't care, kept talking.

    i don't have a problem with people venting because we all need to do that. but this went on for 3 hours, her whole life story, just repeating it. whenever i tried to tell her something about me to make her feel less alone or whatever, she cut me off and kept making it about her. that's just selfish and to talk to someone at 10.30pm. i had 100 or so mozzie bites after it, and i'm allergic to them.

    i tried to be polite and talk instead of telling her to go away but if it happens again or if i talk to her somehow then i will, because she just loaded all of her baggage so to speak onto me. i can barely deal with my own problems. i tried to listen and offer suggestions but she kept pushing them aside.

    she told me she saw a psychologist on telehealth and it was crap because of the connection so she won't do it again. without being rude i said that's stupid and you should try again, you have to be prepared for that stuff happening, it's normal. it doesn't mean the psychologist is bad and won't help just because of bad connection. it happens when i see my psychiatrist nearly every time and i don't complain and say i don't want to see him again.

    i gave her suggestions of contacting helplines and psychologists, she said "oh those things make you worse". yes that's her opinion which she's entitled to but every suggestion i gave she pushed it aside and wasn't even thankful.

    if i can get a psychologist and keep trying after many bad traumatic experiences, she can too. i would rather that than her talk to me for 3 hours about her life story at 10.30pm. like i said i didn't tell her to leave but i was getting annoyed and distressed because i have my own problems.

    i try to be that type of person who is there for people, but that annoyed me. thought it was selfish & rude.

    1 person found this helpful
  17. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8268 posts
    31 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Shell.

    I feel the same with my work colleague. She is nice to everyone else but when i ask a question she is snappy and at times rude. I've realised sh is two faced, selfish and very fake. She is always the victim, negative and a constant complainer. I'm new in the role and she has made it clear she is not a 'trainer' an its not part of her job to train me. If she does get something she wants it's not enough, she wants more/something else. She is a misery guts and draging me down.

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    6 April 2021
    I know someone has been hurt. Emotional abuse. It is someone I care about so much. It feels like a part of my heart breaks.
  19. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    157 posts
    6 April 2021
    Am I a terrible person? Was the emotional abuse as bad as I thought it was? Maybe, I was just as equally as toxic? I mean, I use to overthink and overanalyse most situations in the relationship. Maybe I was just as horrible towards him. Is he hurting? Should I be concerned for his mental health state? I’m feeling so anxious and upset.
  20. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2013 posts
    7 April 2021 in reply to PsychedelicFur

    No l don't think you should at all by the sounds of it. Try not to let it drain you and ficus on you now l'd say. Good luck. rx

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    8 April 2021

    He is so angry, irritable and slammed something. I know he is so tired. Talked to me unkindly and harsh. Even walking heavy like in the house. I really don't like all that behaviour. I am not going to take it personally like I have in the past. So I just spoke to him gently just a couple of words after I gave him his dinner. Even asked him if he wanted anything else.

    I am in my bedroom, just giving him some space now.

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    2903 posts
    8 April 2021 in reply to Shelll

    felt a little stressed by my friend's email

    told her i was going to hospital for MH

    she told me she hopes i thrive there... not survive

    how do u thrive in a MH hospital?
    there's beauty in survivng...ppl mean well but i just wanna be okay where i'm at and realistic. a MH hospital is not a retreat with pompoms. We don't "crush' "win" or "beat" our problems.

    We just do our best and it's okay. I'm not thriving.

  23. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8268 posts
    10 April 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    So damn sick of my partners sis and her being around all the time. The 3 of them are chummy cos they spend so much time together so when I'm there I tune out. My partner thinks it's cos I'm tired, 'hit the wall'. I just after with him but really it's cos I feel left out and I'm I'm just sick of them. Get your own lives and let me spend time with my partner. If they want to be a threesome, then good luck to them.
  24. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2013 posts
    10 April 2021 in reply to CMF

    Partner wkend.

    l'm feeling very touch and go about our situation. Yeah she needs to feel this feel that , but so do l , but l'm not all that sure just lately how wise it is that l'm on hold like this. lf her legals backfire or her visa isn't fixed , there is no us , nor can be . Maybe l should go back to my life and we check in later after the court cases. l've been a solid support for her over 2yrs 24 7 , but real life has mostly been separately in 2 different states bc of all this, so much life unlived . That'd be ok if there is light , but lawyers don't know, give us nothing , or negatives and yet at other times positives , they don't know jack in other words, so this is all feeling like one helluva gamble years wise , and it could easily be another one yet - only to have no glory . Just don't know if l'm doing the right thing here.

    rx

  25. amberlite
    amberlite avatar
    273 posts
    12 April 2021 in reply to randomx
    I don't like being told how to drive by my passenger, I guess only an insecure person does this but I have no pity for him. I actually feel nervous, under pressure and gutted. Probably more likely to crash with this nonsense happening. Control freak in my life, constantly giving me instructions. When if I acted this way it would be called nagging. Gees I hope lightning strikes soon
  26. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    12 April 2021 in reply to amberlite

    When you are trying so hard to only eat food that is nourishing. Someone in the household happens to buy not nourishing food. When cravings hit, it is much harder.

  27. PsychedelicFur
    PsychedelicFur avatar
    157 posts
    12 April 2021

    Just coming to terms that, by choice I am going to stay single for a very very long time. I need to heal and get over a lot of things. Relearn to enjoy my own company and get to really know myself once again. Otherwise I will keep attracting toxic and disrespectful people.

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    6705 posts
    12 April 2021

    Even if you live with others, I still feel lonely and alone. I need a connection with someone else. Someone to be on my side, in my corner, look out for me, really care about my welfare. I just want to be understood and known. This need to being understood and known is so strong in me. Am I wrong here?

    Just crying out of loneliness. Don't want to feel sorry for myself either. But my heart simply aches for connection.

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    2903 posts
    13 April 2021 in reply to Shelll

    feeling like I don't know how to take care of myself and b a friend to myself

    keep pushing myself so hard and disrespecting my own needs

    feel really overwhelmed with just managing my days since i left hospital

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