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Forums / Staying well / Vent and then let it go...

Topic: Vent and then let it go...

  1. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    16 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine
    I'm sorry to hear that, clown of mine. I know what bullying is like. I'm here for you.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    17 January 2021

    hangover from migraine drugs , pulsating head cause the aussie sun means I have to wear a hat , needing to get back to Reno , oh , goodie its DIY termite chemical day , hopefully the migraine wont rebound and a native mouse has been disturbed and it has eaten $50 of food and Im in 2 minds about my next step, hopefully the termite prevention stuff stinks so bad the mouse leaves , thats it all vented out and I feel Micheal Buble' Good .

    2 people found this helpful
  3. monkey_magic
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    3936 posts
    18 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine
    There are so many people that continually hurt other people whether they are aware of it or not.

    I've come to realise that I need to stay away from a lot of the human race because they're just not good for me and don't have the same integrity and values I do.

    I'm fine to keep my distance from others and do my own thing and keep my circle small.

    When I look back through my life problem people have inflicted uncomfortable things and hurtful things onto me and I've had to recover.

    I know I'm stronger and wiser now and have to choose people wisely that I allow in, or close to me.

    Money seems to be the root of all evil and I wish this wasn't the case. If we all lived comfortably perhaps there wouldn't be so much conflict.

    Some people harm others for life! It makes me feel like this world isn't fair. And it isn't. We don't start out on an even playing field.

    I have to be wary of people...I have to think twice..take things slower...listen to the signs. Otherwise I'll probably get tricked and depressed again.

    And I want the best life possible since a lot of it has been a storm after a rollercoaster.

    I just want freedom, happiness, love, and peace.
    5 people found this helpful
  4. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    18 January 2021
    vent and let go .... got a parcel of clothes bought on the internet and nothing fit . I stayed faithful to the label cause its always been ok but no more. everything was too large and regretfully I have not lost weight and will have to foot the return postage. Woe is me with my first world problem...and I feel Buble' good.
    2 people found this helpful
  5. monkey_magic
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    3936 posts
    18 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine
    Being too nice, or too forgiving hasn't served me well.

    I let ppl get away with way too much. Like a walkover.

    How will they learn to respect me if that's the case? Or know boundaries? But a lot of ppl don't listen to me? Is it my appearance? Am I too soft? Is it because I'm female?

    I might have to be powerfully loud and angry...will they listen then?

    Or...I will just walk away.

    I would tell my younger self that it is ok to be gutsier and to leave certain ppl behind.
    4 people found this helpful
  6. ecomama
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    4567 posts
    18 January 2021 in reply to monkey_magic

    Had to sack my dentist today and I still feel like there's a toxic hangover lingering.

    He ranted at me on Friday, repeated himself over and over again, said I'd neglected my teeth for years so it's what I have to pay for now...

    Pressured me over and over again to make a decision on the spot.

    Pressured me to commit to over $30k worth of work to be done asap...

    I said I had PTSD and he was triggering me...

    I said the reasons for my neglect were to protect my children through Courts for years and years...

    I told him I had to report to the Royal Commission and it was all part of the PTSD...

    and the damned nuisance could only respond with "that was then, what about NOW"...

    I asked for time to think about it.

    He wouldn't take that as an answer and was sat on my chair and I felt trapped...

    I agreed to think about the next step and I wanted to leave...

    He slowly got up. (It was worse than all that).

    He went to the receptionist and told her to charge me $500 as a down payment for my next appt...

    I told the receptionist, who was an old school friend, that he was horrible to me and putting SO MUCH pressure on me... she whispered "that's the problem with them all here, it's all push push push money money money"...

    Then she asked for $500... oh.

    That night I Googled everything he told me about my Health Fund & the treatments & discovered he was WRONG. OR he lied just to manipulate me to spend more money asap.

    I decided to sack him the next day.
    Woke up next day to son having taken the car to work.
    He'd asked me earlier in the week, I'd forgotten.

    So I had to wait till today.
    It went as well as I could have hoped.

    Still feeling angry that another person in "a position of power" could be so bad.

    The only follow up I'll do is to book another dentist.
    If ANYONE asks me about that Dentist I will tell them to avoid it like the plague.

    I've got one in mind who comes highly recommended by a friend who's had lots of work done there for her and her family.

    I hope I can remove this dead weight in my body over this.

    Peace
    Calm
    It's done.

    2 people found this helpful
  7. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Mouse POO in my kitchen cupboard. I am still hunting little Stewart and It is getting a little Caddie Shack around here.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    19 January 2021

    I can feel myself getting more withdrawn, and not wanting to leave the house as much, not that I really do anyway - only for appointments, to run errands with my parents or walk daily, that's about it.

    I get extremely anxious when I see people, like I want to run and hide. People tell me to be social and go meet people, but where? I've tried everything where I live. I've always struggled making friends. The only friends I have are here, and friends in America, and one in NSW I hope to meet some day. It's not that easy for me to be socialable believe it or not, I have a social phobia.

    I wish people understood.

    3 people found this helpful
  9. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7383 posts
    19 January 2021

    So went to the dentist twice once yesterday and again today.

    Spoke stupidly while in there today. I know what I was saying did not come out right. Its hard to know what to say. Felt self conscious and awkward. Hate that feeling.

    Feel like a real baby, I cried in front of the receptionist yesterday. Just felt like all too much. So glad no other people were in the waiting area.

    Struggled making decisions.

    Felt like I was in there under a blur

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7383 posts
    19 January 2021 in reply to Shelll
    I reject awkwardness and the self conscious feeling.
    1 person found this helpful
  11. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    20 January 2021

    today my companion suddenly became withdrawn and dark

    now I'm fine with mood swings but this person wont own it.

    I hate having to rescue the vibe Cause we all Know what becomes of the messenger, bang!

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Rynn
    Rynn avatar
    26 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to Shelll
    I can relate to those self-conscious and awkward feelings, it happens every time I need to go somewhere like the doctors or the dentist. I end up having to try several times to say what I’m trying to say and still don’t feel like I’ve expressed myself clearly.


    2 people found this helpful
  13. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    20 January 2021
    Tongue tied
  14. monkey_magic
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    3936 posts
    20 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine
    Watched something powerful, corrupt and depressing. It brought down my mood so I want to let that go.

    My memories can bind me to the past. I should also let those go.

    The worst of the human race have been in my life, I should let that go.

    Things have happened to me that I had no control over- let it go.

    The pain I feel...I should let it go.

    The ignorance of some ppl that have influence, control, and power over others that create mass harm...let it go...

    The cockroach living it's life walking all over my things...and rim of my coffee cup let it live and let it go...

    🙏✨🌤️💦🌼🌊🌬️💮🌻🌅☀️
    2 people found this helpful
  15. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    21 January 2021

    It gives me the creeps how jumpy alcoholics can be in the morning

    1 person found this helpful
  16. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    21 January 2021

    Pet peeve - when I gently sort out someone's hash only for them to enunciate the situation like they had it totally covered. GGGrrrrrrrrrr

    1 person found this helpful
  17. ecomama
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    4567 posts
    22 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine

    I feel sad and a bit angry that my darling chicken is dying. I don't want to let her go but I have to.

    I know she had a long life but so much of her life and the lives of my children and even my life has been robbed from us by me trying to protect my babies in Courts.

    I'm so angry and so so sad today.

    My daughter's beloved dog is so unwell. We've looked after her and babysat her like another child in the family. She's such a beautiful creature. We can't bare to see her unwell.

    I know my daughter will be crushed if she loses her.

    So I'm angry at the time wasted by fighting against ppl who should be behind bars.

    Angry at the laws that keep dangerous ppl out of jail.

    I hope my darling chicken goes in peace and doesn't endure any more pain.

    I'm glad I could secure our property to bury our beloved pets when they pass.

    But I'm so angry at the injustices we've faced.

  18. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    22 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hello Dear ecomma..

    I understand the no reply status of this thread..but that’s to hard for me to do when I hear someone hurting..

    I just wanted to say how very sorry I am about your very loved chicken and fur baby...It is very sad when we loose a feathered or furred member of our family...my heart goes out to you lovely ecomma..I’m sorry I know that these words are not much comfort for you..Your beautiful beloved pets will always remain tucked safely away in your heart with love....

    My love, care and some comforting 🤗 hugs beautiful lady..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  19. ecomama
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    4567 posts
    22 January 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    Your words are very comforting Grandy, they mean the world to me, thankyou. 💜
    3 people found this helpful
  20. Matchy69
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    5931 posts
    22 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    I am so sorry for the pain you are going through Em.Watching pets loved ones go is so hard.Been through it many times.I am here for you and care about you the amazing person you are.

    Tale care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    22 January 2021 in reply to clown of mine

    Hey clown of mine, what happened? Was someone mean to you? I hope not.

    EM - I'm so sorry to hear all of that. I'm thinking of you.

    1 person found this helpful
  22. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    23 January 2021
    Don't like space invaders at the park this morning a boot camp fitness outfit is hogging the lush green space. In this town it's the only grass area to walk dogs on. All our ovals are dog free zones - it's a dog poo thing which is fare enough.
    1 person found this helpful
  23. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    24 January 2021
    ok , partner gets drunk and tells me they want us to move . I listern to the drunks reasoning , like for ages, so I AGREE and say we'll talk about it tomorrow. Now today they say nah I was just talking rubbish. Gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    1 person found this helpful
  24. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    24 January 2021

    I hate my life!! I hate alcohol!!! My husbands drinking is out of control. Why won't he just stop drinking? 

    I want to know why he does what he does including why he drinks to excessive levels. 

    I guess I go back to praying that he passes out drunk shortly. How did this become my life??

    Thank you for letting me vent as I'm all alone in this.

    Emo.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    24 January 2021

    Sick of professionals not helping me and understanding how I feel.

    Sick of living (I'm safe). Sick of having no life and doing the same stuff everyday. Sick of having no friends and no family except my parents.

    Sick of being so lonely. Sick of trying my hardest and getting nowhere.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. ecomama
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    4567 posts
    24 January 2021 in reply to Emo

    Thankyou everyone for your kind expressions of care to me! I don't know what I'd do without you. xxxxxxx

    I have to admit to myself that I can't stand the alcohol fuelled insane talking and emotional rollercoaster my fiancee gets on when he drinks to excess.

    It happened again yesterday and during a time of immeasurable grief for me, dealing with all the compounded grief of losing so many people I loved and so many beautiful pets, which I didn't bother expressing at all, I get ramblings of an insane nature.

    Fortunately I'd watched Brene Brown in the morning, whom I LOVE, then when he began on ANOTHER "all people would think THIS (or whatever)" about a Movie topic ffs I used Brene's line.. "don't use your 'invisible army' with me to prove a point, name ONE person you know who is like that, just ONE".

    He never can.

    This movie was about Nurses!
    omg don't start me... my own MOTHER was a nurse, one of my best friends is one too, I've known SO MANY nurses well. Those I knew closely were BRILLIANT nurses! Miraculous healers!

    Some are not.

    Because we are ALL different people.

    demon ex was JUST like this, trying to say I was insane because "99% of people would think just like HIM"...
    I ended up saying "Well who wants to be so common then, I'd rather be exceptional" lol.
    He was a certified psychopath and I KNOW 99% of ppl are not lol.

    I don't want a contentious relationship!

    I "get" the GRAND decisions they make when they're drunk, "delusions of grandeur" I saw written by a psych about demon in Court documents.

    Usually the alcoholics I've known don't even remember what they've said!
    And then they deny it or brush it off.

    What a waste of life listening to that utter rot.

    Seriously? I would rather watch the grass grow in my garden.

  27. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    26 January 2021

    Hi Everyone,

    I'm trying to help myself by reaching out to help others but I feel like I'm no help to anyone.

    I hate the abuse which has twisted my mind. The words hurt more than the physical abuse. I'm trying to fight the negative feelings.

    All of these words are coming from an alcoholic abuser, why does he hurt me like this? Why does it matter to me what he says? I just needed to say this out loud albeit via a post.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  28. clown of mine
    clown of mine avatar
    221 posts
    26 January 2021 in reply to Emo
    I dislike it when I turn on myself either by agreeing with someone else's diatribe or by recalling old hurts, I dislike dropping my guard- and giving up my boundary . Because those boundaries are difficult to solidify ...............
  29. Emo
    Emo avatar
    225 posts
    27 January 2021

    I HATE myself. The pain is expected but it still truly hurts. Who I truly am is being slowly robbed from me. Why can't I feel like I deserve better???

    I'm sorry, I'm just really hurting.

    Regards,

    Emo.

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7383 posts
    27 January 2021 in reply to Emo
    Hi Emo, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. Do you have your own thread at all? Incase you wanted support from other members on BB. It's okay if you don't, you can still post in here. You are most welcome. But if it's additional support you may want to consider your own thread. I am just concerned for you is all.

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