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Forums / Staying well / Vent and then let it go...

Topic: Vent and then let it go...

  1. Sleepy21
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    4153 posts
    14 March 2021 in reply to Guest_9486

    my tooth is really hurting and it's too much for me

    i'm so tired

    i have only one friend who understands mental health

    my other friends almost bully me for not being well. I'm over it.

    Makes me close off more and more. No point telling them if they're just goig to have a freak out and stigmatise me, for having the nerve to do something as bold as seeking mental health treatment

    we say that there's no stigma anymore, but there is. for so many ppl mental health is such an unacceptable thing. I'm over it.

  2. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2755 posts
    14 March 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Yeah for sure sleepy/

    My families huge and all so lovey dovey fulla cuddles and fake when you see them. They know nothing about who l am, l'd freak them out if they really knew me bc it's not even remotely the who most of them think. But they'd never get mental health either , or any of that side of me, l'd suspect most of them would be something like your friends too. Really disappointing from a family situation, last ones l'd divulge too though and l've regretted any time l ever had with anything else so l've kept quiet about this . rx

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Justwannasleep
    Justwannasleep avatar
    1 posts
    15 March 2021

    Recently I managed to get hired for my first job and I was really enthusiastic about working. I wanted to meet new people, gain experience working in a team and feel productive for once.

    But after every shift I'm burnt out tired and my boss always manages to find something about me to pick on so I usually cry a little before I get home. I've been trying to look for a new job for a while now because I hate feeling this way every time I go to work, but I haven't been able to get anything. I feel so stuck and helpless. A part of me thinks that maybe I am not good enough at work and I deserve to be picked on. I'm not too sure what to do anymore.

  4. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7359 posts
    15 March 2021 in reply to Justwannasleep

    Hey Welcome to Beyond Blue, Justwannasleep. No need to reply to me or anything. Just wanted to say a big hello is all.

    And if you wanted to start your own thread to talk further on what you are going through or how you feel about about working and life etc. Or need extra support it may be a good idea. Feel free though.

    Big welcome to you

  5. Sleepy21
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    4153 posts
    15 March 2021

    psychiatrist comment
    " I think I can help you. You just have to be patient"
    "I am patient"
    "Talk to me after 50 sessions..."

    I don't have another 50 sessions in me, doc. Patience isn't always a virtue.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7359 posts
    15 March 2021

    Maybe I am complaining I don't know. But I feel angry I think.

    The person in aldi would not help me. They work there. I absolutely hate it when it seems they cannot be bothered to help. Not only that, I felt judged by her. I know I am messy looking today. Been out at the beach, so my hair was everywhere.. Did not get much sleep last night either. Long story, and I would never hit anyone, but I really felt like slapping her across the face.

    It is true, when I don't feel confident in myself, may look a bit messy in the way I am dressed, feeling rejected, then people don't want to help. It has happened before. It is like I radiate rejection and self hate. So others treat me thst way.

    I now feel bitter towards her. And I hate that feeling in me.

    I attempted to forgive her.

    Still feel the aftermath, even uglier, less of a person.

    Well she is no better then me is she? We all do things wrong.

    Just got to let this all go, but still feel like punching out and slapping.

    2 people found this helpful
  7. CalmCat
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    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    15 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Shelll,

    Thank you for sharing, I could relate with what you wrote as people have been rude to me when I'm not looking 100%. But I forgive them as I too can be judgmental with the way in which someone looks.

    Its something I have to improve on as looks aren't everything!

    Thank you so much for sharing... secretly wish I went to the beach today though (cold weather here in Melbourne today).

    Regards,

    D

    2 people found this helpful
  8. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    15 March 2021 in reply to Shelll
    Hey Shelll, I'm sorry that happened to you. That's the woman's fault for being rude, not you. You seem like a lovely person. I often feel like people are judging me etc too.
    3 people found this helpful
  9. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    15 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hi shelll, take no notice of people like that. It happens to us all soon enough. I got very upset while in a huge hardware store by an employee there. But I tried to hold myself together, lucky for me receipts have a time on them now, so when I got home I sent the company a very detailed email detailing what had happened.

    they got back to me and they said they checked store cctv and was very apologetic to me about how I was treated. That person was retrained in customer service and put back on three months probation.

    just remember there are cameras everywhere now so you can put in a complaint and have it followed up , no one should be treated like that. If we don’t shop in them places they wouldn’t be working there. Just a thought xx

    2 people found this helpful
  10. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2755 posts
    15 March 2021 in reply to Missing user

    Yeah it can be weird , some people proved me way wrong at times though so although l can read most people pretty damn good l also realized l can be wrong too and the most surprising people can surprise ya.

    Congrats on the job wannasleep nice going and of course you'd be valued but sometimes too we just need the right place and job where you fit in and like the work and what have you . Even the exact same thing can be totally different for the better in another place and other people. Hang in there eh , everyone has to find their niche .

    Hiya shell and nope , she isn't. But ease up on yourself eh , everyone gets the brush off with shop people and like sometimes. Must admit reckon l'd last about 20mins in a place like that with customers buggin me haha.

    rx

    3 people found this helpful
  11. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7359 posts
    16 March 2021

    Thanks for everyone's kindness.

    I am so over this funk that I seem to be in. I don't care what people think of me today, they can think what they want.

    Overwhelmed with so may issues. Just want to toss them over the cliff face.

    "Let not your heart be troubled" . "And be not dismayed" is coming flooding into my thoughts

  12. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2755 posts
    16 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Nice one Shell, and to finally let not givadamn what people think is to find your peace too.

    l'm over it myself. rx

    3 people found this helpful
  13. Guest_342
    Guest_342 avatar
    186 posts
    16 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    A couple of vents from me:

    1) Managers who scold you or make an example of you in an email cc'ing co-workers, when they would be best to just pick up the phone and address the issue privately.

    2) Nostalgia and missing my love of 4 years who I was to marry but we split up in 2018. I hate that sting of guilt and pity that creeps back whenever I love at photos of us. I hate what I put him though and wish I had treasured his beautiful nature more. I wish only the best for him.

  14. Guest_342
    Guest_342 avatar
    186 posts
    16 March 2021 in reply to pl515p1
    Thanks so much for your post. It brought a tear to my eye reading it and made me think how I am sometimes unkind or impatient with my dad. Your dad must have been a top dad like mine - sorry you had to lose him too soon. But judging from your post, it seems he had a meaningful life - he made an impression on you. And that's priceless. My best wishes to you xo
  15. Sleepy21
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    4153 posts
    17 March 2021 in reply to Guest_342

    just made it out of bed this morning in time for appointment... miracle i made it

    can't believe i live like that... such bad sleep and waking up at weird hours or oversleeping

    feel sometimes like i should tell ppl the truth - did you know i'm existing on coffee and half asleep? sick of pretending to be organised. just a fluke for me today

  16. CMF
    blueVoices member
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    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    17 March 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    Not even in the office yet and already feeling negative about my colleagues constant wingeing and complaining. Thought about it all the way to work, creating scenarios in my head.
  17. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    17 March 2021
    Starting new meds tonight. Anxious.
  18. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    17 March 2021
    I swear whenever I come on the forums, everyone seems to disappear. Then whenever I'm not on it, it's so active. 
  19. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2755 posts
    17 March 2021 in reply to Missing user

    Haaaa, it'd just be a timing thing mb l find the same.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Matchy69
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    5828 posts
    18 March 2021 in reply to Missing user
    Tayla I find the same thing that is quiet when I come on when it's been so busy.Maby everyone thinks that?
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    18 March 2021

    I wish I was good enough. Especially for some "family" members. I try so hard and it seems like nothing I do is right and good enough, like I have to compete. Because I don't have what others have (jobs, marriage, etc) I'm not worthy of love, that's how it feels. I have mental illnesses but so does a cousin of mine and my Aunty cares about him and is all over him, like "you poor thing, always here if you need me" but doesn't give a crap about me no matter how many times I tried to be there for her.

    I try to ignore it and move on and realise it's toxic but it's impossible. I want to talk to them but I also don't, I'm torn.

    I just want to be loved and accepted and feel good enough.

  22. CMF
    blueVoices member
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    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    18 March 2021 in reply to Missing user
    I hate that when I go to my partners house it's always so loud.
    I hate that when he has a drinking partner I feel I don't exist.
    I hate thstvwheni have to leave his sis bf had to question why
    I hate the whole set up with his sis living there and her bf staying over. The 3 of them are very happy, who needs me?
    I hste6hearing how every thing s he
  23. CMF
    blueVoices member
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    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    18 March 2021 in reply to Missing user
    I hate that when I go to my partners house it%27s always so loud.
    %3cbr/%3eI hate that when he has a drinking partner I feel I don%27t exist.
    %3cbr/%3eI hate thstvwheni have to leave his sis bf had to question why
    %3cbr/%3eI hate the whole set up with his sis living there and her bf staying over. The 3 of them are very happy%2c who needs me%3f
    %3cbr/%3eI hste6hearing how every thing she does is so fantastic. I don't hear about anything I do being fantastic. I'm sure he doesn't brag about me like he does about her.
    Now het bf is so fantastic too, it's li k e the 3 of them are in love
  24. Matchy69
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    Matchy69 avatar
    5828 posts
    19 March 2021
    I hate being so unimportant and uninteresting that their is always someone more important and interesting then me.
    2 people found this helpful
  25. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    19 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    I hear you Matchy x
  26. Sleepy21
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    19 March 2021 in reply to CMF

    my friend bought this table over me.. left it in the garden... it is a big round glass table

    she said she bought it herself and it's easy to carry

    i tried to move it and think i've hurt my back

    so frustrating

    it's just another stupid thing

    i have no idea how she moved it

    i know i shouldn't have done that... now i'm in this weird pain

  27. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    20 March 2021
    Makes me so mad when your flooded in , water running over the road and you get the yahoos tearing through it as fast as they can 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am sitting on my verandah watching the idiots go by with not a speck or dry land left on our small farm.
  28. Sleepy21
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    4153 posts
    20 March 2021

    annoyed at myself for getting upset with a friend over nothing

    yesterday was just a rough day and i didn't cope well and didn't really act well...:(

  29. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7359 posts
    20 March 2021

    "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

    – C.S. Lewis.

    I found this quote above.

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7359 posts
    20 March 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Often I find myself on the monkey bars. I keep turning around as I hold on there. I turn around and look at the past, look at painful memories, look at mistakes I have made. It just appears to hold me back. Makes me more sad and depressed and grieved.

    My heart and mind desires to look forward and go that way instead. Forward on those monkey bars. It is brand new isn't it, the future is not yet lived.

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