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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Been on here before...guess its a merry go round

Topic: Been on here before...guess its a merry go round

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Ausdog
    Ausdog avatar
    11 posts
    3 March 2018
    Well I am 46, my wife took our son and left 10 months ago. I see my son every second weekend. Breaks my heart but...that's all I get. I have since had a few dates, a couple of FWBs etc, till I met someone I cared about, someone I could and was me around.......guess I fucked up again as she left in tears saying I love to much. Lucky my son is here tonight.....I can't do this shit anymore. Last time I spent a week in psych ward.... Feel worse now, just needed an outlet sorry
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    4 March 2018 in reply to Ausdog

    Hi Ausdog, welcome

    Ive been whete you are at. I nearly didnt survive it. That was 1996, my kids 7 and 4yo. Last June I walked my daughter down the aisle and gave her away. Had I not made her my priority...that terrible day 22 years ago, some other man would need to be chosen.

    Ausdog, Im not telling you anything new. But hanging on trying to be a good dad is so important to your child. And we sacrifice so much for our kids, thats our job.

    You have visitations. Great. Keep them going. When he gets to 18yo he will drive to your place when ever he likes. No more child support.

    My big mistake was living with a woman that didnt like my kids. If I had my time again as a step mum she'd need to be a nurturing sort of lady. Make certain she likes kids...All kids.

    With relationships, we should try to accept that with break ups it could be our fault, their fault or no fault of either party. That lady that said "you love too much" likely is just incompatible with a loving man. So blaming yourself isnt fair to you.

    Distraction is the golden answer Ausdog. Keeping busy, don't stop. Please google

    Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue

    My kids are in their 20's now mate. Im glad I hung on and got through that period. If your boy gets to 14yo and wants to live with dad....make sure you have your life ready for him.

    All the best.

    Tony WK

    3 people found this helpful
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16222 posts
    6 March 2018 in reply to Ausdog
    Hello Ausdog, I'm sorry that you have had only one reply and mine is a few days later, I apologise profusely.

    It must be disappointing for you as your wife has left you, I remember that happening with me several times when my wife took my 2 sons, it was heartbreaking just as it is for you.

    Don't feel guilty about this other person, you were only desperate for love and you do have one, and that's your son.

    As he grows he will begin to develop and favour a few sports, that's where he will need your help and support.

    It's great you have somewhere you can vent, even if you are crying while doing so, it's releasing some energy, so please keep writing to us.

    Someone will come along, maybe while you and your son are down at the park kicking a footy, we never know. Geoff.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Ausdog
    Ausdog avatar
    11 posts
    28 June 2021
    My girlfriend left, I find out she was seeing someone else, truly gutted me. I have a son who I don't see, I am lonely and feel like crap, I don't want to feel like this any more. I am not enjoying life and don't know where to go anymore. I have taken to self-harming, it's a control I guess. I just want to curl up and never go outside again. I am truly lost and don't see any point to it any more, I can barely concentrate.
  5. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6622 posts
    28 June 2021 in reply to Ausdog
     
    Hi Ausdog,
     
    Thank you for reaching out here tonight and sharing with our community what you are going through. We are so sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment because of your recent break up and your girlfriends infidelity. It sounds like you are in a dark place at the moment and it feels like your really struggling.

    We are reaching out to you privately to offer our support.

    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    Please know that you are not alone and we are here for you. Please keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
     
     
    1 person found this helpful
  6. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    29 June 2021 in reply to Ausdog

    Hi Ausdog

    This is your anonymous place. Post when you want to.

    I'm going to give you a few threads to read, just read the first post. You'll see some of us have been through separations, myself 3 long term of 7, 11 and 10 years duration. Now I've been married 10 years and hit the jackpot with a king, trustworthy lady.

    Use Google

    Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

    Beyondblue topic distraction and variety

    There is a great team of champions here that can help.

    Repost anytime

    TonyWK

  7. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    29 June 2021 in reply to white knight

    This is the one I've been searching for

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/marriage-breakdown-and-your-recovery#qt0TmXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

    TonyWK

  8. Sad_Mushroom
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Sad_Mushroom avatar
    239 posts
    3 July 2021 in reply to Ausdog

    Hi Ausdog,

    It is FINE to feel exactly as you do....it is not abnormal or anything. You have been through and are going through a LOT.

    Luckily you have come to the right place!

    I do not have answers for you, as your answers will come to you in time, you just have to wait a bit. Hang in here and please keep talking to us.

    Kellie

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