I am currently too overwhelmed to fall asleep, and so i just want to vent a bit.
it is terrifying. i am currently applying into a new school- and only now do i realise the amount of stairs they have
(context: i am scared of stairs due to persisting suicidal thoughts)
i love the buildings- 100%, it looks amazing.. but i dont think i will cope regularly moving along them. maybe its just the stress thats making me think like this// but either way, my heart beats faster around them. im scared the adrenaline would make me want to do it.
i am depressed- more times than not am i often sad- or even a hollow husk of who i used to be (or… masked to be) i dont want this adrenaline to be my death.
(by the time ive finished this message, ive calmed down, im going to try to sleep again) hopefully this follows the terms and conditions…