Hello to Miss C and MizM,
My dearest darlings - I know how you feel. Not long ago, I was in a very similar place. It's hard because you are sometimes juggling exhaustion and rest, with depression sleep/exhaustion - and it's sometimes hard to know which one it is. Please know that you are both not alone.
I know you may not want to, but calling the Beyond Blue line or Life Line is the first step you need to take. Taking the thoughts out of your head and speaking to someone who can provide you with ear and support you need is going to help take a load off your shoulders.
Do you have a regular GP or psychologist/psychiatrist you can contact? If so, please do. If not, there are many good resources to help you find a psychologist within your area.
I want to share part of my story with you, so you know that you can get through this. COVID hit really hard for me and I kept trying to push through the Melbourne lockdown. A family member then passed away overseas, and I spent another 6 months stuck in another country, but still maintaining my Australian working hours. I was sleeping 2-3 hours, hardly eating and was just pushing and pushing and pushing. I didn't listen when people told me that I needed rest or practice self-care or take time off... because I thought I "should" keep going. When I arrived home in Australia and got out of hotel quarantine, I found myself in the place that you describe. Mentally exhausted. Physically exhausted. Sleep felt like the answer. Not socialising felt like the answer. I withdrew from everybody and I didn't leave the house.... but the way I was thinking and feeling was not who I am. I woke up one day and I knew that if I didn't get help, I was going to go somewhere that I was scared to go.... and as hard as it was, going to both my GP and Psychologist and getting a referral to an inpatient facility was the best thing I ever did. Going into hospital and taking time off from work felt like my world was going to end - but it didn't. Quite the opposite - I immersed myself in focussing on getting better. Doing the psychological work, going on the appropriate medication, practicing self-care and finding balance. It is possible. Trust me.
I'm not saying you need to go into hospital - but I am telling you that asking for help is the bravest and most helpful thing you can do. Whether it is picking up the phone to BB or LL, or contacting your GP/psych - it will help. There are people in this world that love you. Please make the call.