Hi Sandy and warm welcome
It's so good you've found your way to our community. Thank you for sharing your story. What a difficult time you are having, my heart goes out to you. Anxiety and constant negativity do not make things very happy do they?
Relationships are hard work and even more so when one or more has a mental health condition. Both my hubby and I have anxiety, depression and PTSD. We both set off each other. It takes time to calm down some times. But we do. There is no magic potion for it, for us it's good communication which has taken years to get to.
Any chances of putting an ultimatum to hubby. E.g. - do something or I am working towards leaving, go back on medication, go to joint counselling with Relationships Australia 1300 364 277.
You're not alone Sandy, there are many in similar situations as you. Be it husband or wife who has the mental health condition. Feel free to browse our discussions and join any you think may help or you can help.
Being able to talk with someone is always useful. Do both of you have someone you can talk with, e.g. close family member, or trusted friend?
Is there any chance of taking some time out from one another? E.g. going on a holiday for a week or two to visit friends, or getting him to go fishing (or whatever he likes)?
I do wonder how much warmth is left between you both. I think this will make a difference to how much you both want to work at the relationship.
We here in our community all have differing stories and what works for one may not work for another. It sounds to me like he needs support to recognise the impact he is having on the family and that there is help out there for him. Going off his meds hasn't really helped by the sounds of it and he probably does need to see his doctor again. Getting a referral to a health professional would be a great thing for him to do.
You also need to look after yourself. Have a read of some of the available resources on our website if you want to. For example, do a search for - looking after yourself while supporting someone.
Hope this helps you Sandy. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.