My beautiful 16 year old daughter has BPD. As a family we are finding it very difficult and have lots of new things to learn so that we can support her and help her.
We’re currently involved in a program which we are hopeful will help - my partner and I are seeing some results already although we seem to have a long road ahead. We’re both prepared to do whatever it takes ti help her.
I’ve found and read lots and lots of books and information on BPD.
I’m feeling so overwhelmed and sad at times, it’s so difficult to be the brunt of my poor daughters painful illness. I’m finding myself feeling lonely and don’t have any friends in similar situations.
I have lots of friends but no one who really understands what my life is like now and the impact from her I’llness.
I’m finding myself increasingly unwilling to go out to social events - in fact hardly doing any of the things I used to - because my daughter feels abandoned if I go out/do things without her. I’m ok with that most of the time, butseem to be losing my own sense of self.
I feel selfish at times - for wanting to go back to “how life used to be” when she was younger, I feel like I’m grieving the loss of my child, which is horrible, but also grieving the loss of what my vision of our lives would be - it’s so different to how I thought.
I’m mostly ok with dealing with it and staying calm during the critical times, but when I’m alone - particularly after my daughter has had a tough day - I just feel battered and lonely.
Ive had some helpful counseling sessions from a Carers organisation, but those sessions are finished now.
Theres been so many new things to learn about what my daughter is feeling (self harm, feelings of emptiness, anxiety, the BPD triggers that she struggles so hard with, etc) and it might be helpful to hear how other Mums, Dads cope?
If there are any Mums out there in a similar situation I’d love to hear about how you get through each bad day, how you maintain your sense of self, how you keep your other relationships afloat.
Ive tried looking for Facebook groups, etc, but have found nothing near me.
Thanks you, Fi