I’m really terrified my husband is about to slip back into
depression. I don’t know if I can cope with it again.
It’s quiet a long story. My husband moved to Australia just over 10 years ago so
we could marry. He never quiet settled in; he hasn’t been able to make any long
term friends, didn’t want to commit to a University course while a PR (cost
reasons) and has been in and out of dead end jobs the entire time. He’s from an
extremely unsupportive family – and my family isn’t super welcoming either – so
feels entirely alone except for me. He is also bisexual, and has struggled with
the idea that we ‘got married too young’ and he’s supressed this side of
We recently tried a polygamous three-way relationship with another man, to help
my husband explore this side of himself. I should never have agreed to it, as
it’s not something I really wanted to do, but we’d been having some marital disagreements,
I was waiting for endometrium surgery and couldn’t have sex, and he was
slipping into depression even further. The guy we started seeing was nice
enough, but I really wasn’t into it. My husband fell for him though. Hard. I
let it go, because I hadn’t seen him this happy in years… but it didn’t last.
My husband fell into depression even worse, after a time.
Earlier this year, we broke it off, because the man we were seeing decided that
he wanted to find a long-term partner, settle down, have kids, the works. This absolutely DEVESTATED
my husband. However, the heartbreak actually broke him out of depression for
the first time. After a month or so, he finally picked himself up, decided to
go back to school and has been improving ever since.
Then, yesterday, we were told he would be unenrolled from his University course
because there had been a problem with his fees, and they hadn’t been paid on
time. For this reason, they ‘legally’ couldn’t allow him to continue. Of
course, we can’t actually talk to anyone about this because they’re learning
from home at the moment (Melbourne lockdown…) and no-one is answering their
phones to give us answers.
My husband is absolutely shattered. He can’t believe that he might not be able to continue due to a clerical error, and is blaming himself for not being more proactive about it. He was sobbing in bed last night about being a failure; failing to keep a job, failing his relationship with the other man, failing me, and now failing this. He wanted so badly to do well to show me that he was worth it.