If it helps, I think a lot of people feel the same way. It can be so hard to know what the first step should be, or even mustering the energy of taking that first step. I know for me, earlier this year, I felt like I was wandering through a thick fog in my brain (does that make sense??), and you can kind of feel lost and making decisions can be hard or exhausting. It was supremely hard for me because when you've been seen as "functioning" and then you can't fake it anymore, you have to ask for help. And sometimes people like us don't know how to.
The symptoms you are describing... I know them well. I really would like you to consider seeing a psychologist. Yes, they are expensive etc, but if you see your GP and go on a mental health care plan, you can get 10 sessions that you will be able to get a medicare rebate on.
I remember telling my psychologist that I felt like I was drowning, the weight of everything was so much. And I said to her, I need you to make a decision (this was in relation to waiting for my psychiatrist appointment in the community or going into hospital). And it was actually such a relief to have her take control for me - she called my GP and said "We're getting her into hospital". And it was the right thing for me.
I'm not going to sugar coat it - it was beyond hard. Just when you think you've climbed the mountain of seeing the GP/psych/getting a referral into hospital, then I rocked up to hospital and I had another big mountain to climb. Parts of it sucked, but the psychiatrist, the nurses, the occupational therapists who ran group sessions, they care and they want the best for you. Sometimes they want it more than you do. But each baby step forward, is still a step forward.
Am I 100% now? No, but I hugely better than I was (I was at rock bottom). But I was lucky (looking back now, not sure if at the time I would have said that) to spend a month in hospital focussing solely on me and my ACTUAL needs (as opposed to "I need to go to work today" - which is not a real need). I listened to the advice from my health team, I listened to my body (turns out I was really shit at previously), I did mindfulness colouring in, pushed myself to go to group therapy, started reading up on perfectionism (which seems to be the root cause for my anxiety/panic/depression) and even when it got tough, I tried to be kind to myself. Healing isn't linear - it's up, down, back, forward. But it's putting your needs first.
How are you going with self-care?