I’ve had my same life for 18 yrs no control. I no what has to be done I truly do but my anxiety and depression is really bad. So I run to alcohol and drugs. 90% of the time I’m enjoying the affect whilst drunk and hi but even after so many times of making very bad decision making whilst intoxicated gambling partying not going to work, the really bad feeling of a come down and the rest. I still do it to deal with my anxiety and depression even I no it’s going to make more and more worst. I lost lots over this journey and about to lose it all... I have 2 beautiful children and when I’m with them I’m I what would call a happy and normal place but the down time when there with there mother I’m un able to have control I turn to the drink then take drugs then the rest is history. This has been so repetitive in my life I’m running out of time. There’s a good person in me i have passions love for things I caring i like to help people make them laugh i have a great job/trade until I lose that one as well. Im not well so deprest atm can’t get out of Bed.. used my last 20$ on beer yesterday then used drugs owe money again..spiraling out of control again and I’m to embarrassed to for family help again because I keep shitting in there face.

Hi

Im sorry for what your going through, it sounds like it’s turning into a viscous cycle.

sounds like you are already rock bottom. And it also sounds like you’ve given up on helping yourself.

Sorry but I’m going to be blunt with you.

If you haven’t given up on helping yourself than contact the beyond blue help line and ask for help in getting yourself sobre.

I don’t know where you are but There are centres that you can go to and get an assessment done on your addictions. From their with a bit of luck, they can admit you into a recovery centre for a 7 days withdrawal program.

Then it’s up to you whether you want to continue your rehabilitation and move to another centre where they admit you for 2 to 3 months and help you how to manage your life day to day. you will Be giving up time with your kids, but as I sit hear and read your thread, your doing that anyway..

its all up to you though, you have to want to do this for yourself, no one hear is going to Be able to do anything for you other than some friendly support.

And don’t worry about losing your job, save your life first, than think about working again.

i wish you the best

Hi Billyc

Just wanted to say hello and wish you well. Sounds like posting on here is a first step.....journey of a thousand miles begins with one step right?You know there is a future out there without the booze and drugs... that's a real start. Thank yourself for knowing this, try and be kind to yourself, don't hate yourself because then you hate that good bloke who is inside there....recognise that posting on here is a real beginning and get advice as the last poster mentioned. Drop me a line anytime. You can do this!

Thanks Trinny,

are you referring to me? Or the original post person? Either way, your right..

very best