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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Can one have too much BeyondBlue?

Topic: Can one have too much BeyondBlue?

19 posts, 0 answered
  1. SubduedBlues
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    SubduedBlues avatar
    841 posts
    17 July 2014
    I've been noticing of late,  that I am devoting a lot of my time to the BeyondBlue forum. 

    It is the first thing I check when I get up in the morning,  and the last thing I do before I go to sleep. 
    I wonder: can someone have too much BeyondBlue? 
    Ps: I also check it on my mobile whenever I get a free moment. 

     

  2. frankie28
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    3 posts
    17 July 2014 in reply to SubduedBlues

    I manage social media - Facebook- and it is the first and last thing I do. I even wake up in the middle of the night terrified that I have missed a post and it will effect my job - this isn't healthy. These customers are all angry and certainly aren't thinking about how they effect me.

    You are playing an important support role in peoples lives on these forums. as long as you are not being negatively impacted, what you are doing for yourself and others is worthwhile and important. We do think about how these posts effect us, but in a positive way that makes us feel understood. You are making a positive contribution, this forum is a positive contribution.

     

     

  3. white knight
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    17 July 2014 in reply to SubduedBlues

    Hi D'jected,

    You could do.  Whenever a new theme enters my life I tend to throw myself into it...then it settles down to a reasonable level over time.  But with BB I dont mind giving "too much" to it. It is a humble thing to do- give advice anonymously with the bonus of learning more about our own mental challenges and other type also. For me the struggles some have makes me realise how lucky I am to have come through the other side. I consider myself 95% well compared to the past.

    So some of us have some obsessions as well as impulsiveness and other excessive behaviours.  With BB forum however, I dont think your excessive will do any harm. I do however only have my computer at home- not on my mobile. That way I am restricted somewhat in my reading of posts. That might be an idea to take on board.

    Over time you might, like me, restrict your reading and posting to more threads that really hit the mark, the ones that you have experienced yourself or one you know a lot about.

    There is also the benefit here that it is moderated here. That is a safety net for us all. It means there is no chance of cyber bullying and focus on positivity, repair and care.

    Digging into our own experiences to assist others is a wonderful thing. Society has all sorts of commendations given out to achievers. The greatest commendation is the one you never receive....

  4. geoff
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    18 July 2014 in reply to SubduedBlues

    dear D'jected, that's a good question, but here I have been doing it for about 9 years, and the comments that people post are in desperation for help, support or advice.

    Perhaps there are many posts that you can relate to, or maybe you feel as though someone is literally asking you for help.

    A lot of what people say mean so much to me, because I have been in exactly the same position as they are now in, and because I have come out the other side I feel as though I could pass my experience on to them, whether or not it works, only time and perseverance will tell. Geoff.

  5. AGrace
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    18 July 2014 in reply to geoff

    Hi D'jected,

    I think WK and Geoff have made some very valid points. I guess I'd say that it depends on what you're getting out of it. 

    Some people come to the forums to share their stories, others are in despair and desperately need some support, for some it's that feeling of contribution and donating some of your time to support people, some just like to read through the posts and find out what others are going through and perhaps can relate this to their own struggles.

    Like all things if you're donating your time and putting in a lot of effort you'd want to be sure that it's benefiting you to do so. For me it's about giving back, because I've received so much over the years, and now I get a sense of mastery and contribution out of supporting through shared experiences.

    I do agree with WK, you may want to consider how important it is for you to be checking your mobile every time you have a spare moment especially if this is starting to impact what you would otherwise be doing.

    Why do you think you enjoy spending time on the forums?

    AGrace

  6. SubduedBlues
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    18 July 2014
    Hi all, thanks for your comments - much appreciated.

    Why am I here? 
    • Partly because I don't have anywhere else to turn for advice
    • Partly because I at least here I can write openly and with concern of prejudice
    • Partly because reading though other people's troubles helps me think mine are so bad
    • Partly because I'm tired of hiding how I feel
    • Mostly because I have no one to speak with about any of this

    D'

    ps: 
    a quick check at lunchtime (like now) is better than an emotional breakdown because I am missing my old life. It helps me re-centre and re-ground my emotions so that I can continue through the rest of the day until I get home.

  7. Vegetarian Marshmallow
    Vegetarian Marshmallow avatar
    269 posts
    15 August 2014

    Sure, you can have too much of anything.  I guess, take a look at your life and see if aspects that are important to you are suffering because of your BB habbit.  People can definitely become addicted to internet forums, using them as a surrogate for more hands-on social interactions, so that's what I'd watch out for.  Although for some people with social anxiety, I could imagine it being a nice stepping stone to becoming more social in general.  So... your mileage may vary.

  8. Jo3
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    15 August 2014 in reply to Vegetarian Marshmallow

    This is a really good question and I only just saw it!!!

    I often ask myself - am I on here too often??

    Maybe yes; maybe no.  I come on here to chat to others, give advice and support and just to be a friend to someone who may have no other person to chat to.  I have been told by someone from another forum that because I have more posts than them that I am an attention seeking person. 

    If anyone thinks I am on here too often, pls tell me because then I will stop.  It's just that at times I can relate to what others are going through especially with childhood abuse, depression, BPD and anxiety. And if I can come on here and help someone, well it makes me feel good.

    I agree with D'jected - I come on here for the same reasons.

    Jo

  9. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8756 posts
    16 August 2014 in reply to Jo3

    Hi to Everyone who has posted here,

    I certainly appreciate all that has been written here in this thread, if that is what it is called. I suffer from depression and BPD, so some days a combination of the two make me feel so very alone and very sad with life.

    Since joining BB, it has helped me when I read comments  and advice to the posts I have sent in. It makes me feel like I don't need to feel so disconnected from people, that I belong somewhere, and I am part of a "family" or a "community".

    For me with my BPD it can be bittersweet at times, like in real life, where I look at my emails and I have no new messages, or there is nothing personal for me on Facebook, or a friend is not home when I try to find them. My BPD irrational thoughts pop into my mind and I feel like no one cares and why bother to try to be in touch with someone.

    So for you Jo3, I would like to commend you for your chats, and for all of you a big thank you. When we reply to someone on these forums, or give a person a smile out on the street, we will never really know the impact that may make in a persons life.

    To all of you, a great big THANK YOU. I think it is time for me to read my BPD book again, and try some of the exercises in it to help me feel less re-actional and emotional to life and people.

    Wishing you all a day of inner peace. From Dools.

     

     

  10. Jo3
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    16 August 2014 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof

    Thanks for your message.  I think like you in regards to emails and friends not being available when I want them to.  

    I hope you have a really nice day

    Take care

    Jo

  11. SubduedBlues
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    16 August 2014 in reply to Doolhof
    Hi Dools

    I originally started this thread because I was on the BB forum 3-4 times a day. And I was concerned that I might become lost to the cyber world and disconnected from my reality. As it turns out the BB forum was just what I needed. It saved me.

    Lately I haven't had a thread to comment on, and my Facebook has also been empty.  So Dools, I'm happy that people are posting here again and it's now a little bit brighter in my world of doom and gloom. 

    Thanks,  you've made my week. :)

    D'

  12. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8756 posts
    17 August 2014 in reply to Jo3

    Hi JO,

    Thanks for your message. BPD can mess with your head at times! I know I have people who think about me and care for me, but that part of my illness tries to tell me I don't!

    I did have a good day yesterday. Our Church had a fund raiser in the morning so I enjoyed helping out with that and chatting with people. Had a few laughs as well, so that is always good. I was asked if I wanted to volunteer some time in an op shop the church is now going to be running, so that will be another opportunity to meet new people, be with people and have a bit of a fun too I guess.

    My husband and I went to the footy, something I haven't done for many years. We left home at 12.30 for a 7.00 p.m. game, so it was good to be out of the house all day and do something different. We went with friends so that was nice too.

    I hope you had a good day too Jo. Thanks again for your posts. I will always appreciate hearing from you! All the best to you,

     

    From Dools.

  13. Jo3
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    17 August 2014 in reply to SubduedBlues

    Hey D'

    I will talk to you anytime.  Just send me a post and I will chat.

    Hope you're feeling okay today

    Going for a quick walk with a friend now but will come back on later

    Jo

  14. Jo3
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    17 August 2014 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools

    Sometimes it's hard when we have BPD because I think that I look for someone to talk to. It sure does mess with our heads.

    I'm happy to read that you had a good day yesterday with the church and that you also enjoyed the footy with your husband. 

    Take care

    Jo

  15. JessF
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    18 August 2014

    I will admit I haven't been here of late because I've been finding it a bit too intense and triggering. I think sometimes it's helpful to know when you use something as a support and when it becomes a crutch and an excuse to not do something that will actually help you more, like - in my case - going outside, going into town, following up that friend for a coffee. I've spent entire weekends at home lately not going out the door at all from Friday to Monday, and while I know that is a symptom of not feeling the best, when we have depression and live with it all our lives, we have to constantly be vigilant and make an effort to maintain our health, otherwise it becomes a slippery slope.

  16. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8756 posts
    18 August 2014 in reply to Jo3

    Hi Jo,

    Thanks for the posts. I had a quick skim through a book I bought on BPD and saw some personality traits highlighted for people with BPD and I thought, oh yer, I recognise that in me!

    Having a diagnosis for what was going on in my head was a big help to me. As I have forgotten a lot of the information and ideas on how to help myself, it must be about time for a re-read and a reminder of helpful attitudes and techniques.

    Wishing you all the best with your friendships and encounters with others. Cheerio, from Dools.  

  17. Jo3
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    18 August 2014 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools

    What is the name of the book? 

    Jo

  18. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8756 posts
    19 August 2014 in reply to Jo3

    Hi Jo,

    The book I have is called "Borderline Personalities for Dummies", you know, one of many books written out in a certain style covering all kinds of topics. Apart from the "for Dummies" bit it is a good book.

    I had another excellent book on BPD which I leant to someone and never received it back again. If you are close to a library you may be able to ask them to get books in for you. Unfortunately I don't recall the name of the other book.

    Hope you can find something to help you Jo.

     

    All the best, from Dools.

  19. Neil_1
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    19 August 2014 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear all

    A very good thread and some excellent responses.

    I think as we are all mostly adult, we perhaps have the nouse to know if we're overdoing something too much and as a result, I know that a few people have made the concious decision to ease themselves off of this site - and hey, there's no dramas about that at all.

    We all suffer, so we're alike in that respect, but overall, everyone is different - fingerprints and tongue prints stand testimony to that.  :)

    I've begun to ramble, so all I'll finish with here is that Jo:  you are a legend and the posts that you provide to others are fantastic.  I say this also as you are in the deep valley of darkness yourself, but you still have that amazing inner strength to call on and reach out to others.  So post and post away all the time Jo - a very much valued member of the Beyond Blue family.

    As indeed is everyone here and if I can just say one other thing to whoever is reading:    if you are able to 'REACH OUT' to others who come to this site, seeking assistance, comfort, a kind word, or support - then please do so.  The more people we have responding to others, the better.

    That is just another thing that I love about this site so much.  So many wonderful people.

    Cheers

    Neil

     

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