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Forums / Welcome and orientation / New & Needing help/advice.

Topic: New & Needing help/advice.

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. ..K
    ..K avatar
    4 posts
    9 April 2020

    Hi I’m new here and have been hesitant to make a post. But I’ve been struggling.

    I’ve recently lost my pop who passed away.
    I have been eating or sleeping properly.
    I’ve lost work due to covid-19.
    I feel lonely and down so much I feel as though I’m Getting upset and angry at the littlest things.
    I have no one to talk to who would be able to understand or help me.

    I’m 24 and have two loving kids and husband.
    when I get upset around him, he just makes it feel like it’s my fault. I have spoken him about the issue I have, but he always turns is around on me, making it feel like it’s my fault.
    he said he doesn’t know how to help me.
    Social media plays a big part in this but he’s always getting mad and defensive, as if he’s done nothing wrong.
    I feel insecure, not good enough, hopeless, and guilty for bringing these issues up with him.
    I feel like I’m letting my kids down constantly, which then makes me feel horrible.

    I’m struggling to be happy I feel.
    I can’t eat a full meal like I used to or sometimes I go without, I can’t sleep properly which makes me always tired.

    I don’t know what’s wrong or how I can help myself, and I’m honestly terrified to go to the doctors about my issues.
    I just want someone to talk to, someone to listen who understands, because I have no one


  2. Katniss91
    Katniss91 avatar
    5 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to ..K

    Morning,

    I don't think i am the right person to be giving advice but just some thoughts going through my head while reading your post.

    Have you thought about going to a counsellor regarding your husband not understanding? he will never understand how you feel or your thought process however maybe, if someone else can explain to him in a way he understand might help him be a lot more supportive.

    as for not feeling yourself, i assume being a mum and wife is a demanding job (i am not a mum) i am in a relationship and i find if i do things for myself, you may feel a little selfish but if you do it often and you feel better about yourself, it wont feel as bad the more you do it. but something like walking, reading a book, listening to meditation music, something that makes you happy. i have always loved the phrase "can't fill someone elses cup if your cup is half empty" fill your cup up first before even trying to fill someone elses (e.g being there for your kids)

    Also, find someone to talk to. Even if its just a stranger from here. Someone. A colleague, friend of a friend, random person. Just try and establish an agreement with them, if im feeling upset can i just tell you how i feel, i dont want you to try and fix it just unload on you? or write it out. get a journal and write how you feel. i find if i write down or get it off my chest i tend to worry less about it.

    Here if you want to chat.

  3. ..K
    ..K avatar
    4 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to Katniss91
    Thankyou, I find it very difficult to reach out to other people that I know. I don’t know why I just have a fear of being judged or rejected. That’s why I keep things bottled up and it’s no good for me feeling the way I do.
  4. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to ..K

    Hi ..K

    Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. Reaching out in compassionate spaces like this can be a great first step to getting help. Can I am, do you have anyone around you to support you? Like a support network, or even a mental health professional? I think given your grieve and with everything you are experiencing (not eating/sleeping well, mood swings etc), seeking structured help may provide you with some relief and guidance.

    What do you think?

    Sending hugs,
    Tay100

  5. ..K
    ..K avatar
    4 posts
    9 April 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi thanks

    I’m willing to try, I just don’t know who can help or how I go about getting that help

  6. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    10 April 2020 in reply to ..K

    Hi ..K

    That's completely fair and valid, a lot of people feel the same way, you aren't alone in that. Thinking about getting help can be overwhelming, yet alone considering the logistics of it!

    Help could come in many forms. You might need help in actually getting some professional advice. Do you have a trusted someone in your life you can lean on to help you navigate things? If not, the BB website has some great tips on how to select a mental health service that's right for you. Try these links: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-help-lines-and-websites
    for online resources and websites

    and
    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

    to find a professional in your area

    Check back with us if you feel like, we are here for you. See how you feel browsing these links and see what sticks out to you.
    Sending hugs,

    Taylor

  7. Stewpot
    Stewpot avatar
    2 posts
    10 April 2020 in reply to ..K

    Hi,

    just a thought. Are you able to think about how your husband can help you? If he says he cannot help you maybe you could tell him specifically what you need from him. Maybe do this in a way that avoids blaming him in any way but makes him feel like a special person in your life. Try to be specific about things he could do for you and make it positive.

  8. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    28 April 2020

    Hi ..K

    I just wanted to post again here and check on how you were doing? Have you had a chance to look at some of the services I posted- did any of them stick out to you? Let us know what you think or if there is something else that seems more comfortable to you, feel free to let us know, if you want too.

    Thinking of you, take care,

    Tay100

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