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Topic: Respect

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Rhianen
    Rhianen avatar
    1 posts
    6 January 2022
    Why Do I Feel not Respected in my family?
  2. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
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    monkey_magic avatar
    4968 posts
    6 January 2022 in reply to Rhianen

    Rhianen your feelings of not feeling respected are valid. Can you elaborate though for example what do your family say/ do for you to not feel respected by them?

    Is there any way you can bring this up with them?

  3. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    9873 posts
    6 January 2022 in reply to Rhianen

    Hello Dear Rhianen,

    A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

    I’m so sorry that you don’t feel respected in your family...that can make us feel so sad...

    Rhianen, would you like to chat here about what’s happening to you and how you’re feeling...No pressure at all...Only talk about what you’re feeling up to talking about...

    So hoping to hearing from you when you feel able to....

    Sending you my kindest wishes lovely Rhianen...

    Grandy..

  4. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9757 posts
    6 January 2022 in reply to Rhianen

    Hi, welcome

    Why Do I Feel not Respected in my family?

    I hope I can give you some clarity. A short story- Randomly came across a pregnant lady with two kids in the city. Her car got a flat tyre. I offered to fit the spare. It was 38 degrees, my uniform was drenched when I completed the task. She drove off without a word.

    I was very hurt and disappointed. Years later a talkback radio commentator was receiving calls about not being appreciated. I rang and told him and his audience about the flat tyre task and that I felt I wasnt respected. He asked "did you fit the spare tyre for that lady to receive respect or did you fit the tyre to help her out"?

    I pondered his question for days. Finally I realised why he asked it. See, I had an expectation of a positive verbal act of appreciated, of respect of how I helped her. That expectation was more a priority that the task itself. It was as though- like when a boy I yearned for my mothers praise and words of admiration.

    I'm not saying that praise and an appropriate response wasnt apt, but if I didnt expect anything for my efforts, then anything would be a bonus. It kind of took my expectations and flipped them upside down.

    So, in response to your question, if you carried out your life in a good, moralistic, upstanding, kind and compassionate way and had zero expectations of anyone to comment on that honourable way of living then respect and signs of appreciation would come. There is one provisio.

    Some people no matter how much a good person you are wont display any respect. So what do you do about that? Nothing! it is their problem. You might benefit yourself by distancing yourself from these friends or family members, not a lot of distancing but a few less phone call, a little less contact because- you arent as compatible with them as you might realise and in respect to family members you are promoting contact out of being family rather than being an ideal person to have contact.

    I hope that helps. Reply anytime

    TonyWK

  5. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6201 posts
    6 January 2022 in reply to Rhianen

    Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

    I am sorry to hear you get this feeling from your family and I imagine it would be quite upsetting. Also know this is a safe and non judgmental place to chat and when you are ready to share more of your story we are here listening to you.

  6. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    16251 posts
    7 January 2022 in reply to Rhianen

    Hello Rhianen, can I join the others in welcoming you.

    There are many reasons why you don't feel respected in your family so we hope to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

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