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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Seeking help when you don't feel important

Topic: Seeking help when you don't feel important

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. ghostcrab15
    ghostcrab15 avatar
    2 posts
    20 March 2021

    Hi everyone,

    Today is my first time on the Beyond Blue forum - and perhaps the first time I have properly acknowledged that I feel helpless and restless very often. I have a problem with asking for help from anyone because I don't feel like I will be heard. I also find myself feeling embarrassed about the fact that everyone else around me seems to be coping with daily life and I'm not. Feeling alone has been hard, but looking through this forum has helped today.

    I probably need to seek help from a GP or a professional of some kind, but I can't help but feel like there are other people that need help more than me. I guess what I struggle with is feeling like I'm important enough to take up someone else's time to talk about my problems. I also doubt myself because I'm prone to over-thinking things. Nothing feels serious enough to seek help for, even in times when I can't function properly, because of the possibility that I'm over-reacting. Does anyone else feel this way?

    Thank you to all of the people that have posted in this forum - you've helped me today and I'm sure you've helped many others as well. Opening up can be really hard, and the fact that you all have is very admirable.

    All best

  2. Matchy69
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
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    Matchy69 avatar
    7261 posts
    20 March 2021 in reply to ghostcrab15
    Hi ghostcrab15 and welcome to the forums and making this thread seeking help.A great first step you have taken.You are not alone finding it hard seeking help talking to your GP about you mental health most of us do but when we do it can be such a weight of our shoulders and the start of managing your mental health.Try and get that courage and talk to your GP.Just remember you are just as important as anyone else and your GP is use to all sorts of health problems including mental health and their is no shame in it.
    This forum is a great place to talk and I hope you can talk some more if you feel comfortable discussing more what is going on.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  3. Ladyhawk17
    Ladyhawk17 avatar
    1 posts
    22 March 2021 in reply to ghostcrab15

    Hi ghostcrab,

    I am in exactly the same place as you. I look around and see others clearly having more challenges than I am, and I feel like I don't have the right to ask for help. I'm normally a strong and resilient person so even when I do reach out and ask for help, I'm told "you're strong you'll be ok", or "you have work and a roof over your head" and things like that.

    I'm very much an introvert so really don't have a personal support network, I just bury myself in work so I don't have time to think. I'm an over thinker as well. I used to travel a lot, and the person I love most is in America, so the big thing for me right now is the international border closures continuing longer than expected.

    I'm setting up an appointment with my GP later this week, I'm even second guessing myself on that but I know I'm not doing myself any favours here.

    Take care and know you're not the only one feeling as you do.

  4. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14352 posts
    22 March 2021 in reply to Ladyhawk17

    Ghost crab and lady hawk,

    welcome to the forum and thanks for writing your honest posts.

    By writing here many will read and see they are not alone.

    I think it is human nature to compare and feel our problems are nit as bad as others. We are all worthy of kindness and help.
    ghostcrab I hope yiu can see a GP and lady hawk I am pleased you are seeing one.

    keep on posting here if you like as there is support here.

  5. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3151 posts
    22 March 2021

    Hello,

    Thank you for joining us both ghostcrab15 and Ladyhawk17.

    I completely understand where you're coming from and can guarantee that you're not alone in this. I've seen so many posts from people who don't feel like their problems are big enough or worthy enough to get help.

    Other than the warm welcomes and suggestions here, here's some extra things to think about.

    - If you had a sore tooth, would you not want to go to the dentist because other people might have infections or impacted wisdom teeth?

    - If you don't think your problems are serious enough, where do you think that line is? I can tell you from experience that there is no line, but sometimes reflecting on that can be really helpful because there's no 'minimum requirement' to get therapy.

    - What if you were to think about therapy as preventative? Maybe that can be the sense of helping to clean a wound rather than coming in when it's infected.

    - If your friend told you the same thing, what might you tell them?

    A few metaphors here and things to think about but hopefully it helps! I promise you that you are important, your problems do matter and you deserve really good care.

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    144 posts
    22 March 2021 in reply to ghostcrab15

    Hi ghostcrab,

    You mentioned "everyone else around me seems to be coping with daily life and I'm not". That might not be the case necessarily. It's like Facebook/Instagram, what you see is only a snippet of that person's life - the good parts!

    Recently a colleague with younger children wanted to chat with me regarding my past experiences as a parent. I was more than happy to share. Now I have 2 confident teenagers who are doing very well in school and have no peer pressure issues - every parent's dream! Then I realised my colleague was getting the impression that I have a perfect life. Little did she know, I struggle with contamination-ocd and noise-anxiety everyday. Some days I feel like I'm just existing rather than living.

  7. Scribble
    Scribble avatar
    7 posts
    24 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Good morning ghostcrab15, welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your personal experiences. People all around us can be struggling and dealing with problems but regardless of the scale, it does not diminish or lessen your own personal circumstances.

    I've recently had a rough patch at work and despite feeling extremely down over a period of months, I kept thinking that I should just be grateful to have a job in these times. However, you can be grateful for the benefits of something as well as unhappy with parts of that at the same time - they are not exclusive of each other.

    Feeling helpless is such a sad and lonely experience and I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I think it would be a great idea for you to speak with your GP or find a counsellor to talk to. Having a conversation and being heard is such an important step and I wish you all the best with seeking help and finding the empowerment

    Ladyhawk17, I hope you were able to make an appointment with you GP. It takes a lot of courage to speak about your struggles. I am sorry that the person you love the most is so far away, I can imagine that going through your struggles without them here only adds to what you are experiencing. In times of Covid, physical distance can be felt more acutely when being reunited with a loved one is out of your hands. I hope you are able to make good use of video calls :).

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