I’m completely new to these forums so please mind that.
I just want someone to listen.
I’m a 15 year old girl and for the most part I’ve lived a normal life but everyday It gets worse and worse.
I’ll start from the beginning. Since The start of high school I’ve always had my best friend. I loved her very and I wish I could have been more supportive and shown her my admiration.
It was July of last year I got into a relationship. For the next 3 months I was the happiest I’ve ever been, I loved him to the core but he did do drugs. Im really against drugs so I explained to him that maybe he could stop because I cared about his health and education and he said he would.
no matter what he still did them and that eventually led us to break up.
I was fine for the time but it was towards the end of last year it went downhill. My best friend and my other close friends were still friends with my ex-boyfriend, which I was totally fine with but they started leaving to talk to him more and more at lunch time and I really didn’t wanna hang out with them just cause I wasn’t comftable and He and I had some post breakup fights so it was best if we didn’t talk again.
So one day they vanished to hang out with him, I was miserable but I still had 2 other close friends I guess so I was fine but I still felt betrayed, my best friend told my ex everything that I had said about him.
i evenly found out recently she did LSD with him and I cried my eyes out and I don’t know why.
We still are friends and we talk regularly on a groupchat but she’s funnier and prettier and easy to talk to so I feel drowned, I’m shy and I try to hard to please my friends but it’s like they prefer her. I try to join into their conversations but I get laughed at because I have different taste in guys.
I have no one, it’s the emptiness that hurts the most. No matter how hard I think, nothing makes me happy, I have no redeemable qualities that would make me big in this world.
I have no one to talk to anymore, everyone I talk to thinks im annoying and that I should get over it but I can’t.
the littlest things make me start crying. I feel like I can’t fit in, I feel like I’m annoying. I’m never gonna go anywhere in my life. I wasted my teenage years being a prune. I’ll have no friends.
She’s having the best time of her life while I can’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do anymore.
Everything inside of me is slowish breaking apart.