I’m overwhelmed with my job (admin), likely because of lack of sleep, stress from the workload, and overwhelmed with the critical thinking required for my tasks.
I know it’s normal to be tired at work but I’m feeling this crushing pressure to get it all right and to continue on regardless of how tired/stressed about it I’m feeling, and I’m working from home. My parents told me to keep going and I agree with them - I cry at my desk - it’s not depression because I know what that’s like and it’s definitely not that, I think it’s tiredness. I’m saying in my head all the time ‘You should care about your job and you’re really lucky to have this job’ and ‘You’re pathetic, toughen up and keep at it’ because to be frank, it’s partially laziness, and I don’t have the mental muscles to keep at it, I don’t like the feeling of working just like many others do, but I’m less tolerant or something, probably because I’ve spent a long period of time in the past not working/studying because of actual depression and anxiety (which is SO much better now thankfully). I kind of beat myself up about not being adjusted to working so much, and not putting up with my stress and muscling it out.
We have meetings every week and I sweat because they’re going to find out I’m not working enough (if they haven’t already). Yet I continue to underperform.
I think about changing jobs often, but that wouldn’t be a good move, because this is a good job for a good cause and I’m better suited to this job than other ones skill-wise. I know that changing jobs likely isn’t the best solution because it’s running away from the current problems rather than fixing them.
Thank you for reading this, if anyone knows what is a good thing to do in this situation, I really appreciate your comment. Thanks