Video Transcript

Relationships recharge

Making new connections isn’t always easy. Mostly it’s about getting into as many situations as you can to interact with others and not being put-off if it takes a bit of time to ‘click’ with someone.

It’s also important to remember when it comes to relationships, the research shows that quality is more important than quantity.

It’s tempting to look at other people who seem to have loads of friends and think, ‘I wish I had that many friends’, or even ‘what’s wrong with me for not having that many friends?’ This can make you feel worse about yourself, but also cause you to overlook, or even neglect, the relationships you currently have while you’re looking out for something new.

Here are five ideas for getting the most out of your relationships:

Number 1, communicate more.

That might sound silly, but when you’re not feeling connected, you can retreat into yourself and cut yourself off from opportunities to connect. Whereas, we actually need to do the opposite – even when you don’t feel like it.

Look for opportunities each day to have small moments of connection. Take the initiative, rather than waiting for people to come to you. Invite someone out for a coffee. Check-in with someone over text message or a phone call. Chat with the neighbour when you’re walking the dog. Send an email to someone from the past. It takes courage to put yourself out there but it’s worth it.

Number 2, be curious in conversations.

When we’re trying to build connections, we can become very focused on ourselves and how we’re coming across. Instead, enter the conversation with a great curiosity about the other person. Ask questions. Be a good listener. Get to know them. Show that you care about what they think and feel. There’s a saying that in building genuine connections, it’s more important to be interested, than interesting.

Number 3, share something of yourself.

Being interested in the other person is important, but you need to give something of yourself too. Sharing personal information is how relationships deepen. Tell stories from your life. Talk about your interests. Be vulnerable when the situation calls for it.

Number 4, schedule social time.

Prioritise the time to get together with the people in your life. Life gives us a long ‘To Do’ list but we need to
put our relationships with others at the top of it.

Schedule regular catch ups with others in your weekly routine so it just happens without you needing to think about it.

Most friendships come to an end because people forget to stay in touch, and just slowly drift apart.

Making new friends is harder than keeping current friends, so consider what you could be losing.

And finally, number 5, find people who ‘get it’.

Find others going through similar challenges to you and share your experiences together.

Support from others going through the same thing, people who truly understand your circumstances is very powerful. Join a group in your community or even log into an online forum.