I'm glad you came here, as you have found out mere theoretical knowledge of what to do is not enough, also confiding in someone who is easily worried and overreacts certaily has it's down-side.
I guess the best I can offer is my own experience, which might be some help.
Looking back now a lot of the reasons I did not take steps to help myself boiled down to fear, that's fear of embarking on a course of action and finding it did not work. In some ways it was better not to start, so it was always there as 'a last resort'
Added to that was what people might think of me if I did something that was obviously an exercise to reduce suicidality (such as a relaxation exercise or meditation).
I did end up taking steps, but that was only after attempts which I was in a position to keep to myself. The changing point came when firstly things so so bad I couldn't stand being as I was. And secondly I found I did not know everything, so all might not be actually hopeless even if I personally could not see a way out and there was therefore a possibility outside help could make matters better (which it certainly did)
You already know the saying "The longest journey starts wiht the smallest step". Can I suggest you find what is simplest, takes the least effort and try to do that? Even if it is only something which might have a small positive effect then it is still something - and you have made a step!
Anything from brushing you teeth to making cheese-on-toast to picking a flower to ... well, you get the idea.
If you ever do try to find a friend you may find you have to train the listener. So they do not try to fix, offer impractical suggestions or smother you in precautions. Their job is simple (but hard to do), just listen and care and maybe offer some perspective - nothing else.
Unlike you I confided in someone who cared, was practical and didn't panic -I was lucky there.
So what do you think?