It's Wednesday, so time for some lousy jokes, just what you need if you're feeling a bit down today:)
''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said ''may contain nuts.'' "Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. How much do I owe you?" said the woman. "$345" the vet replied. "$345?!!!", "Yes, $45 for the consult and $300 for the cat scan."
Ok, see if you can add to this:)