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Forums / Grief and loss / Need ideas to help 99 year old grandfather deal with loss of wife

Topic: Need ideas to help 99 year old grandfather deal with loss of wife

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Munchkin2311
    Munchkin2311 avatar
    1 posts
    12 August 2021

    Hi,

    My 99 year old grandfather recently lost his wife of 76 years. He is having a hard time dealing with suddenly living alone. He has never been alone, and is struggling. Does anyone have any idea about how he can deal with his grief. He has no friends as they have all passed on. We as a family are doing what we can but we cant be with him 24/7 and he doesnt want to leave home.

    Thanks

    Muchkin2311

  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    5750 posts
    12 August 2021 in reply to Munchkin2311

    hello and welcome.

    Oh Wow. :(

    My sincere condolences to your grandfather. That was/is a long time to be married. And that would also be a testimony to the love shared between them. Now... he is alone and probably feels there is nobody to share his life with as there is a great hole where his wife was. Grieving is a difficult process and unique for each person and depending on how long there is always the possibility of the seeking professional help.

    One place you might be able to get some assistance is here ....

    https://griefline.org.au/

    Regarding your questions... does he belong to any social groups? Have you asked him about his story and perhaps help and allow him to go through that process. And maybe you could tell him about how you are feeling as well? Perhaps his neighbors might be able to assist in some way. Take him to the movies or out to lunch periodically. Small steps to reintroduce to society.

    If you want to chat some more... I am listening

  3. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3078 posts
    13 August 2021 in reply to Munchkin2311

    Hi Munchkin2311,

    Thank you for being here and deciding to join. I'm so sorry for the loss. It sounds like you really care for your grandfather and I'm glad that you are here.

    Unfortunately there are no quick fixes for grief. Even if you did somehow have the capacity to be with him 24/7 there would still be intense moments of loneliness. So while being alone at times might be incredibly painful, it really is something that he has to do to cope. I do wish there was an easier way other than to 'feel the feelings' which does sound obvious but is obviously difficult to do.

    smallwolf has given some really practical advice- is your grandfather open to socialising or getting any support (general or clinical)?

    Perhaps there could be a way to shuffle around your time and his time- having routines is so important, so even if that means a call or a visit (no matter how small) from different members of your family as a way of staying connected.

    I hope this helps a little

    rt

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