Thanks Mark & Tess,
Yes, he does lack emotional intelligence and he admits it. He also admits he's easily distracted but I only see that with me so I feel unimportant. The fact that he said today I love being angry tells me he still doesn't understand why I was so upset during the week, which we never discussed, and why I was annoyed today for a reason I've mentioned so many times yet he still doesn't see or acknowledge. He denies it, saying I'm exaggerating . He knows he can be insensitive and has said I am so much more compassionate &understanding. That i have more emotional intelligence than him. He's admitted he sweeps things under the carpet, hoping they'll go away. He's admitted all this, he knows he's like this. He is a wondetful man,generous, loving, positive, affectionate. Is it a case of taking the good with the bad? I have many faults too,he never complains or mentions them or maybe he s 'sweeping them under the carpet? His ex was needy, told him they have no emotional connection and had 2 long term affairs that he s aware of. I wouldn't do that,but sadly I think I can see why she did. It is becoming more and more evident that he just doesn't pick up on people's feelings. That he doesn't understand people's emotions, that he doesnt want to have to deal with them cos he doesn't know how, therefore he ignores them. Ignorance is bliss he told me today. This is not real life. H e just blocks the hard stuff out. When his dad was very sick with cancer couldn't understand why he wouldnt get out of bed. He was peeved at him, saying he should get up and move around. He shouldn't just give up. This shocked me, I had to explain he couldn't. He had cancer and he couldn't get up anymore. M couldn't accept this, didn't want to understand . So it's an issue he has,not just toward me but with everything. It's an avoidance , a condition & I don't know what to do about it.