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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?

Topic: Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?

  1. CMF
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    11 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    I didn't even help with dishes, 3's a crowd. At 1 Point M & I moved to the kitchen to have a coffee & little miss an ice cream. I thought sis had gone to her room or something as she wasn't around but then she appeared, in the kit hen with us, talking about her stuff. It just proves to M everything I've said. He felt my mind shift cos I felt his shift. I talked to Sis about the ex & new man but my energy & mood just drains completely when there's 3 of us. I told M if I get peeved enough about it I'll send the text. Wonder if he's worried. Doubt it. She didn't really do much wrong I think it's just that 'married couple' feeling I get around them. It leaves me completely drained of energy.
  2. CMF
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    11 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    And sis would have picked up on it too cos she heard me get peeved about the bday invite. After I got peeved & really anxious I said 'maybe I should just go home.' I'm sure she heard that too & I'm sure she would have stopped around M after I left. Good opportunity for him to say something about how I feel, after all,she got to spend a nice night, with a man, without his sis hanging around. If things go well with this guy I have a perfect reason to say something cos she's not allowing us what she enjoys & takes for granted. I left Mrs feeling again like I just can't do this any more. I later to him he needs to sage the house. There is a negative energy, maybe sis, maybe the clutter. I wish I could go on, tidy, declutter, buy some plants, but it's not my place, it's THEIRS. I can't even breathe properly. I want to tell him I just can't do this, evetytime I'm there I become anxious, withdrawn, wanna get out, can't breathe. The energy in that house is not good. It's happening again, these feelings. Does he care enough how it affects me or do i just stop going, unless it's an occaision,make him really see. He must have seen/felt it tonight, esp after the recent talks. It just saps the life out of me & i can't hide it😒
  3. randomx
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    11 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Ahhh cm cm , sorry darlin.

    Yeah he saw it he's well aware of it these days and of course she would've noticed you leave and not being yourself . like he's been aware awhile now for sure but l think it's too much for him , like after the invite thing. lt's mostly quiet an easy fix for him the sis thing, but he doesn't seem to realize that. At least he kept focus on you two that time when she interrupted. He only has to do little things like that. Make a spot for you beside him on the couch curl up and stuff sis would pick things like that up too. Anyway you'll see him over the wkend l suppose eh , and you'll have your beautiful time like you usually do , that'll pick you up again a bit.

    Big hug. rx

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  4. CMF
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    12 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    When he sat in a spot where I couldn't sit next to him it hurt. I hearf sis ask little miss to help her so i expected a spot on the couch next to him. Aren't we supposed to be showing we are the couple. Of course it could be where he always sits at night so he just went there cos he can put his feet up but usually when I'm there we sit together. We won't have our usual Sunday cos their cousin is here from interstate so we're having lunch there all together & maybe a swim. Ive met the cousin once & we really hit it off. Sis was ok tonight for most part. She didn't really annoy me except the comment about THEIR show they like & he should know that cos i told him those comments upset me. I wanted to hear about new man & of course M wants to know. I mean she spent the night 4 days after meeting him but tonight was a little about the ex cos his friend was texting her about him cheating etc. She's not really done with him. You're right, he must feel pressure now, knowing exactly how I feel. The bday thing upset me cos I was already drained & anxious. I can't believe the shift in energy when 3 of us together. I thought tonight would be ok but I automatically felt blocked out, uncomfortable when 3 of us in a room. Is The Universe trying to tell me something? How can I go from such a high all week,manifesting, having good things happening to such an anxious low where I can't breathe properly? I can't keep putting myself in a position where I can't breathe.

  5. CMF
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    12 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    He told sis she should have her cards read by my woman cos she's so accurate. Considering another of my readings talk about sis' dominance etc and he agrees they're so accurate, yes he gets it alright. It also hurts that he says he agrees with me on things,like the bday afterthought, & says he wouldn't do that but still defends the other person,not me. He is a people pleaser, admits it but I've told him he should have my back, not someone he's known for a few months. But you know, she's a cyclist &cycles like the boys so she must be hot stuff to him cos she's sooooo good despite the fact she'was trying to force his friend to sell his house & move to a suburb she loves. He has a child who lives with him 50% & goes to school. Why would you uproot them? This is the gf I didn't get a good feeling about when I first met her, just like I didn't get good feeling about sis' ex when I saw certain behaviours. This gf likes being one of the boys. To text MY partner a bday invite then add later that 'obviously' I'm invited...why would I think I'm not invited? Is it boys only? Am I over reacting cos I was drained? Maybe sis does give off bad energy around me? Anyway, it's normal for couples to disagree at times so she can stick her nose in cos we have no privacy to talk about anything.

  6. CMF
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    12 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    He did start to rub my neck after dinner, maybe to ease the obvious tension. I didn't get up to help with dishes cos she was in the kitchen then he went in to make coffee. No room for 3 of us. I'm still anxious & upset but he's coming here tonight so I guess I should be happy and vibing high to really show him the difference. Not that I think he'll pick up on it. I wonder what sis said to him about the bday party cos she would have asked, she's always listening & getting involved I think. This was 1st time she heard us snap at each other, oblivious that she causes the tension for me. You could cut the air with a knife on the couch. I'm sure she picked up on it. Perfect timing for him to gently mention how I feel seeing as it was 3 of us. The perfect example was there right in front of them. The Universe putting me in the situation I didn't want cos I manifested it & maybe for him to see to.

    Cmf

  7. randomx
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    12 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Ahh cm , yeah l could feel the couch situation from here. l think she tried to do something with that sitting with you and ur d trying to smooth it over which was in a way nice of her. And taking her out to the kitchen too.

    l think she's known a long time to well lately for sure , could feel her out there earlier too. But it's like it's a combo of just her being her and the fact she gets along with m to , likes you and your d , think it's all a bit of a jumble for her, m's the same. Sounds like she is trying a bit though at least that's something right.

    Anywayyyy, he'll be over tonight and the lunch might be nice. You won't have to try when he's over , you'll just be yourself and different anyway if he can't see that by now he must need glasses haha.

    Have a good wkend eh , nice energy everywhere.

    rx

  8. CMF
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    12 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    I wonder if she asked him what's going on re the disagreement ? What would he say? She would have heard me say 'I should just go home' his reply was 'why, what are you upset about now?' He was concious she was there hearing it too...interesting. What am I upset about NOW.

    Yeah tonight SHOULD be nice but these things are festering now & I'll need to get them off my chest. For someone who's meant to be making more of an effort he didn't last night.

    Cmf

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  9. CMF
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    12 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    Re the bday invite & my reaction...remember sis told me that M is oblivious, he thinks everyone's nice.
  10. CMF
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    13 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Well...mixed weekend. M came stayed over last night. I cooked a nice dinner. We agreed sis' new man sounds nice. I tried to get more conversation out of him re it, no luck. Told M it's not right that shesslept with this new guy yet still texting ex's friend re him. He agreed & said he's gonna tell her to drop it & move on (yeah right) I apologised for my reaction to the bday party invite & explained that he always agrees with me but defends the other person. I feel invalidated & unsupported. He disagreed & said the whole thing was not that big a deal so i asked he snapped at me. I could see his annoyance but I got my feelings out. He jokingly asked what I bought him for Valentine's day (we don't do Valentines) .told him I'm his gift so he can come see me ( instead of sitting with sis), he said he'll drop in.Woke this morning overthinking & feeling sad. We had lunch at his as his relo is here from interstate. I had some alone time with sis & told her myself about texting ex's friend re him & she should stop & move on.Was lovely afternoon. His cousin keeps saying we need to go visit her. Sis was there after Xmas & visited. I reminded M that we both have time off over Easter, thinking maybe we could go with the kids. Somehow, sis managed to include herself & say it could be a road trip in her car.

    Nice way to end a lovely afternoon . She really needs to get her own life. When I asked in the past if she was always gonna be involved in everything we do he said of course not. We'll see.😒

  11. CMF
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    13 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    No matter how nice she is she's selfish. She goes away, has alone time with men yet she tries to invade everything we do. I do think M may be getting snappy cos he's under presdure. He knows very well where I stand with everything now. He knows why I shut down Friday night. He knows something needs to change & soon, he knows I have the 'letter' I wrote which makes it pretty clear to her how I feel in a nice way.

    I messaged him to confirm he knows that the time I'm taking off over Easter us for us/kids. If he can't make that clear to her it will be a kick in the guts for me. I really wanted it for us /little miss however if we go interstate I know he'd like to take the boys as they haven't been. That's OK with me. Who does sis think she is just including herself? She's not his wife or kids mother as she likes to believe. She thinks she's automatically included in what we do. I'm not taking a week off to be with her. I hope it comes up again as I will make it clear I am taking that time to spend with him. Him & me not him, me & her. She posted on FB that she likes people who are honest with her,no matter how hard it is. Well I hope she means it cos it's coming.

  12. quirkywords
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    13 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    CMF

    I find people who express on Facebook that they want people to be honest no matter how hard or it is, maybe just saying it for show. If you are someone who likes honesty from others to maybe do not need to write it on Facebook. Just my thoughts.

    It is good you can tell M how you are feeling and be open.

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  13. CMF
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    13 February 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    Totally agree. It's like people who say ' I don't lie'. I feel if they need to make a point of if, maybe they're trying to convince themselves. I'm a believer that of not having to make a big point of something. Actions should be enough.

  14. CMF
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    13 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    I'm a little peeved that Friday night I was put in the scenario that he clearly knows I don't want to be in. Today I was happy & sociable with his cousins. If it's him , me & sis I'll shut down. I hopr he saw the difference in me. He shouldn't expect me to be ok with it after all the times I've brought it up with him & I'm not gonna pretend I am cos hesjust disregarding my feeling if that's the case.

    She says she likes the new guy but I think she feels stupud/embarassed cos the ex cheated on her so she slept with new guy so quickly to get an upper hand on her ex or to 'prove' she's over him, to show she can score another guy easily. I don't like that she's still seeking revenge on her ex or that she told us how much money the new guy earns. She's got a big mouth, whsthe earns is personal & private. She's known him 2 weeks & she's blabbed that to us. Maybe she's trying to impress us 'look what I scored'

    She officially ended with the ex less than a month ago. To meet a new guy (on line), date & sleep with him all in 1 week....hmmmm I'm not sure what she's trying to prove. She needs to be in control, have the upper hand. I think even M is surprised to see this side of her.

    Cmf

  15. randomx
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    13 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Oh God , surprise surprise , yeppa , l figured all that pretty much but oh well , her crapola is her worry right , you just need her out of yours and m's face for starters hey.

    Yeah he'd see it and the difference l mean he'd have to be blind not to after 3yrs of it.

    ex

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  16. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    Yeah rx,

    I knew she had this nasty side & card reading confirmed it. When she called me that Sunday when it was confirmed he was cheating she told me she didn't love him anyway, suspected he was cheating. yet weeks before she was ready to move in with him, have kids. She has a bed he gave to m's son, wants to write 'cheater' on it & dump in his driveway. New guy straight away, sleep with him outta spite/payback or to look tough/in control. That's why she lends people money...control yet says she wants to 'help '. Now I know why M doesn't want me to send the text to her, he knows what she's like but he defends her of course. He knows I was spot on when I mimicked what her reaction would be cos she wouldn't have control. I've told him she's controlling everything. Even us. I think he needs that though. His ex wife used to organise everything, he just sat back. No wonder he needs her there. He true colours are coming out, not just her ex's.

    Both her & M can't be on their own. He needs someone to control everything ,& she heeds to control. I clearly see it now, everything is ' I don't know, I'll ask my sis, she looks after that, she did this, she did that ' yet ye has a leadership role at work where he is in control of alot.

    No wonder there can be tension between m & I, she's controlling, he knows I'm right yet dinies it, cards confirmed it. He was very squirming after fitst reading when all this came our. No wonder he gets snappy, cos he knows he's struck between a rock & a hard place & can't get out.

    He told me it won't always be like this but i could hear in his voice he wasn't confident.sis would have been controlling with his ex too, in his ear, she told me so. I feel sick about this.

  17. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    M has to help her take the bed back, load on the Ute and drop off. Wouldn't surprise me is she wants to do it tonight, afterall it's Valentine's Day, a day for us
  18. randomx
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Afraid so cm , he's always seemed quite happy having her do all the stuff she does , l know the type of person known guys like that . Even when she came out to the bin that time, he probably didn't even mind.

    lt's such a toughy for you bc you probably don't wanna go that far as his partner but of course you still wanna be able to just be free to be the partner in ea others lives . l think he's exhausted with it all and knows your picking it all up and that's wearing him out even more and tackling sis would be too much for him. lt doesn't have yo be drama though he only has to start doing those little things.

    l need a coffee

    big hugs

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  19. randomx
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    14 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    He's probably having nightmares that you might crack it and send the text.

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  20. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    Agree, agree, agree.

    She's asked for the number of the lady who reads my cards. Now that will be interesting. I told M that. I'm sure I'll come up somehow but i wonder how much?She may even be told some truths about herself. Hopefully she gets told she needs to move on from her brother, that she's blocking his relationship. I didn't want her using my reader for this reason but maybe the card reader will be the messenger...everything for reason. The Universe is taking control. Wonder if she'll pick up on her dominance?She wants her brother to be happy right.

    I'm a little anxious tbh. I think things maybe coming to a head and be realised. She posted on FB that she may be quiet but sees everything. Still digging at the ex. I replied so do I...

  21. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    I'm manifesting her moving on. Maybe a reading will be a positive turning point? I'm taking interest in the new man. Keep friends close, enemies closer lol. We've been messaging but I'm being supportive. Eventually I may bring up the living arrangement. If M wants someone with ba..s then I'll give him some. He wants someone to direct him, make his decision, then I will. I'm going to look into some getaways for the Easter break & our time off. I'm just gonna have to take control for him. Seems to be what he likes.
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  22. randomx
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Haa that's funny , he'll probably be quite happy you taking control.

    Me l hate sending anyone to get their cards done and l won't do anyone nyself even with the style l do. l use to a yes or no answer for people but that's as far as l'd ever went or would. My ex w gave it up to ,too much responsibility . Thing is , there may be no man for sis, the reader could see her 80yrs old and still alone, although she probably won't tell her that . lt's actually a real gamble getting your cards done by somebody any good people take it for granted it's all gonna be good or just small bumps , but somebody good could see far far worse.

    Cross everything for the best read ever eh.

    rx

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  23. quirkywords
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    I assume by taking control M means have someone organised things like a PA not someone who controls everything in one’s life . That latter form of controlling is negative .
    Hope the card reading goes well for you.

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  24. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi rx & quirky,

    Yes it is negative, it is control of his life & decisions. The number of times I've heard ' oh my sister said...'

    Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it's too much. She listens to our conversations, never gives us space, even threw out rubbish and stood at the bin watching us once while we chatted outside. She then walked in with him.

    Yeah, it's not good.

  25. CMF
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Had a lovely Valentine's visit from M tonight. He told me sis is having dinner at new man's house which I knew as we'd been texting. I showed him what I'd said he says I should have a culomn lol. Told him I was anxious about her having a reading from my lady cos of what may come out. She may say I don't want her there. M asked what's gonna come out? That WE want her out? WE...? interesting. He told me not to worry about it. I haven't done anything wrong. I feel/hope the reading may say she needs to be in her own space to create room for someone to come into her life. M agreed completely. I said maybe The Universe will let the card reader deliver the message. He completely agreed.

    Cmf x

  26. randomx
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    14 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Yeah look even if she does see those things she'll hopefully be tactful about it. But on the other hand she could see the need to give your cause a nudge too , from sis's point of view l mean anyway- dinner at the new guys - never know haha.

    That bin thing yeah that's the time l was talking about , still can't believe she did that. Some people have more front than Myres right.

    We kinda had our valentines early , last night .

    rx

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  27. CMF
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    15 February 2022 in reply to randomx

    Yeah, guess I'll leave it to The Universe lol.

    Funny thought...M said if I sent the letter/message she would get upset & go to her room when I went over. Be funny if that made her move out lol

    Anyway, good thoughts for her to find love, move on & be happy.

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  28. CMF
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    18 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Well I found some places for our Easter getaway & M chose 1 he liked. I booked it straight away for him, me & little miss. 3 nights away, just us. Maybe sis will get the hint that the break is for us & never included her. I think M realised too how quickly she included herself & how quickly I booked something that didn't include her.

    It's quite the joke how she assumed my time off/away over school holidays included her lol

  29. CMF
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    20 February 2022 in reply to CMF

    Love it when the truth comes out. Today at lunch M mentioned he is glad sis' bf (ex) is gone. He admitted he was annoying at times, always joking around. In the 15 months they were together he never mentioned that despite me telling him things I didn't like. I wonder if he's tired of her being there too? Watching her with her men? M said it will be interesting to see where they live if things go well as he doesn't live close by and has a big boat that he keeps on the water, hence why he lives where he does. He suggested sis may go live with him as she talks about how nice it is & her business is set up that she hardly has to be there.

    Cmf

  30. CMF
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    20 February 2022 in reply to CMF
    Hehehe...wouldn't it be funny if I knew sis was with new man I just sent her texts or if he was Mrs I constantly interrupted their conversation. I don't have it I me but would be interesting lol

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