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Topic: Sad musings

  1. demonblaster
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    15 February 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Lovely gentle Peppystar and Hi there our beautiful sweety tweety 🐥 who also is very loved thank you very much needed to hear that hun 🤗

    Peppy I want to see you happy. Feel for you being emotional and confused awful isnt it when we can't define our feelings. I hope todays been brighter for you 🤗 One for you too tweety 🤗

    You're a very compassionate understanding lady Peps you really are quality which is my go to gently remind you to look for your good points deary that are in abundance. I'm being very patient and spreading my nags out don't you think 😆

    😀Oh Peppy maybe going to France. I think of it and get excited for you. Good on you a change can be food for the soul. Do you speak French? Nice to have something to look forward to, so happy for you ☺

    Look after yourself hun you too beautiful tweety girl. (Watch dose puddy tats)

    Love care and 🕊 to you both ☘⚘☘🐥🌱🤗

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  2. startingnew
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    4 March 2019

    Peps xoxo

    🦋💌💜

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  3. Birdy77
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    5 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Friend 😊

    Thank you for your patience and your friendship. You mean a lot to me.

    I want to let you know that the messages you have sent me have meant so much, and I've written them down to remind me at different times, and they've been a huge comfort and also inspiring and helping me to keep on going.

    I'm still groping in the dark a bit ... I haven't found my way free, but I am getting there. I thought I was going under for a bit there, but I think I'm going to survive.

    I've just stalled, is all. I started drinking way too much, and that was pulling me under, really badly, I'm trying really hard to turn that around.

    How are you gorgeous friend? I think of you often, daily, and wonder how you are. I am always here if you want to talk xoxo

    I know I'm replying to stuff you wrote weeks ago, but I'm so excited for you, planning a trip overseas soon. France would be a beautiful country to visit. I travelled alone overseas in my twenties and I have no idea now how I did it. My mother did it for the first time when she was in her sixties ... I can only actually appreciate her courage now.

    Travelling is such a wonderful expression of freedom. I hope you are able to make it happen.

    While I think of it, did you look into seeing the Dr Goodall talks during that tour? I recently read a really interesting book, it's a work of fiction, you might (or might not) be interested: We're All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler. It's better if you go in cold, not knowing anything about it.

    I had a bunch of stuff to tell you, but I can't remember it this second. Let's talk again soon ❤

    🌻birdy xo

    Loads of love to the bbffs, thank you both for your beautiful and kind words, you're amazing people, your strength and the beauty of your souls shine, even when you feel you are in the dark ... stay brave special ladies xoxo

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  4. Peppermintbach
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    6 March 2019
    Wonderful DB: thank you for the encouraging and loving message :) I know you’ve been struggling, so it makes your visits that much more special.

    Sadly, no, I don’t speak French, but if I go, I think that I might learn some beforehand :)

    I’m loving the four leaf clovers that you left me. Perfection xoxo

    Darling Butterfly Wings: I’ve missed you! I’ve been worried about you, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many posts on your thread.

    I’ve seen mostly blue butterflies this year. Usually, blue ones are a rare sight for me, but I’ve seen 1-2 blue butterflies most weeks since the start of the year. They always make me smile :)

    When I see a white butterfly, I always say a silent hello to you. Love always and “Dusk till dawn” xoxox

    Dear friend/beautiful birdy: I’m so happy to hear from you, dear friend :) I’ve missed you very much, but I’ve been respecting your need to retreat as I knew you were going through something, and may not have been able to talk much...

    I’ve been quietly concerned about you, but didn’t want to push. I figured you needed to rest, reflect & heal at your own pace....but, as you know, I’m here for you if you want to share, vent, chat casually or even if you just need a distraction. Anything goes ;)

    Also, I look forward to you sharing whatever it is you wanted to talk about, & I’m glad my little nudges gave you some small comfort...

    Sigh,I understand about the alcohol...the promise of temporary & immediate relief can be alluring, even if we both know that long-term, it’s not so great. But I understand immediate relief overrides all when we are really struggling...

    I’ve been having a very rough time. Things were bad...but I think that I’m slowly starting to come round. I’m getting there...you know that bit of steel that develops through adversity? I’m feeling that steel in my backbone...

    What would have me once seething, I can (usually) face with a more level-headed approach now.That’s not to say that I don’t get upset/angry, but I pick my battles...save it for when it counts.

    Yes, there is so much around us to see. Many faraway places to explore...your solo trip sounds like it was wonderful :)

    Funny coincidence that you mentioned the Jane Goodall tour yesterday as I just saw a billboard ad about it- also yesterday. Maybe the world is giving me a hint. Lol.

    Thanks for the book recommendation! Sorry, I couldn’t resist looking up the synopsis, despite your advice ;)

    Yes, let’s talk again soon. Much love to you xoxox
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  5. Ggrand
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    6 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello two beautiful lovely girls,

    I’m just calling in to say hello and hope you are both doing better then okay...

    Peppy..I loved reading that you have found some steel and using it to the best you can for your wellness...It’s good that you are starting to get some control over your anger and being upset over things that would normally make you to react quicker...

    The world is a beautiful place Peppy, we just have to find that beauty in amongst all the darkness that people can cause us..

    Im so excited about the trip your planning and if you do manage to be able to do that I hope you have a wonderful time because you so much deserve it...Please take your time and do the trip when you’re feeling able to do so...and you feel safe to enjoy yourself.💜..please be very kind to you Peppy, you’re one of those beautiful people who are very hard to find, and make a better difference to people lives...Thank you dear Peppy for being the gentle lovely person you are...

    Birdy..,.Thank you for you beautiful words to me and my bbff, you touched my heart with your love and concern..Birdy hun, were all here for you to help you find your back into the light..Keep groping around beautiful, it’s their and I have faith that you will find your way back up...

    I am not a drinker except for when I’m down really far, and it does help us to sleep and numb the pain until it leaves our system, then what we were trying to numb comes back in double/triple force with an added headaches and feelings of regret for drinking..I try so much now to use meditation to help me sleep...

    I hope you both have a beautiful day today and you find some of the beauty that surrounds us daily..maybe take even 5 minutes to look at the clouds, feel the sun on your skins, listen to the gentle birds whistling, look at some colour flowers and maybe take time to smell them...but be careful of bees..we don’t want a bee sting in the nose...ouchy...

    Im Wishing you both all the best and all the good things that this world has to after you...

    Sending you both my love and some caring hugs..💜💜🤗🤗...

    Grandy..

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  6. demonblaster
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    7 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Dear gentle Peppystar 🤗 hi everyone ☺

    It really sads me knowing you've been doing it so hard and silently sweety lady. Although I understand going quiet or hard or not wanti g to talk about it but it also sads me because you're always there for us hun and I/we want to be for you too. But on saying that people have their own ways of coping. It's consuming isn't it, I'm so glad to hear you're finding your way out Peppy that's your inner strength kicking through.

    Sounds too like you're making good progress in the picking your battle dept, not an easy task so kudos lovey 🤗 I know everyone will be a lot jealous cause you got an extra hug so we best keep that to ourselves 😄

    I love you have something to look forward to and plan with your trip. I'm not sure whether theres an app out that you can talk into and translates to French. If not I've just invented one 😊 should be a multi millionaire the amount of inventions I think of but are already out lol

    Thank you lovey and your very welcome. I hope you're finding time for your art and having some happies in your life darlin I really am sorry hearing you've been travelling hard.

    I 🎨 an exquisite ☘for you and it sits on the top R) side of each page in a writing set I'm giving you and on the sealing point of the envelopes. Theres also stamps in this set also with ☘

    Love and much care dear friend 🤗☘

    Darling sweety tweety 🤗 the same goes for you sweety love when you're down I/we (sure others feel same) want to be here for you too but I get coccooning too its jyst you also bring so much love and light to us darl. Love you a lot too 🐥 Thanks so much sending yours to the bbff's it makes me feel special. Your beautiful don't ever doubt it girls. Big love to youse 🤗☺

    It really does help, I'm as often as I think of it trying to remember happies and things I'm grateful for. The more goods we can have in our minds the less room for junk thoughts

    Good days beautifuls, we deserve 🌱

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  7. Peppermintbach
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    8 March 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi lovely people,

    Gorgeous Grandy: your post made me smile. Thank you, lovely one :) When I see clouds in the sky, I’ll think of you. Clouds for Grandy. Butterflies for Butterfly Wings.

    Lol. I’m not entirely sure how the steel got there, but it did. I suppose, in a way, I was left with no choice (so to speak)...make or break.

    Recently, I left a quote elsewhere about how we sometimes need to learn to exist in pieces. I suppose maybe that’s how the steel got there?

    To patch up the pieces a little...or maybe the little pieces became steel? One way or the other...most days hurt, but I’ve just learnt how to carry pain. Exist in pieces...

    I hope if you see a cloud in the shape of a lightning bolt, you’ll know it’s me sending my love and blessings xoxo

    Wonderful DB: aren’t you also lovely to visit? Yes, it’s true that everyone copes differently. Some people like to talk, others like to retreat...it just depends, I suppose.

    Thank you so much for being here for me. That means a lot :)

    You’re right, there are probably apps to learn French. So many options these days for learning a new language. But your app will be the best! If you become a multi millionaire with your new inventions and apps, I’m assuming you wouldn’t mind sponsoring my trip overseas? Lol!

    Thank you so very much. The writing set sounds beautiful. Handmade too, so it’s extra special. I love the four leaf clover theme...hope it brings the letter recipient some luck!

    May you have many more blessed and grateful days xoxo

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  8. Birdy77
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    8 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Lovely friend,

    It makes me feel sad knowing that things have been so very tough for you all this time ... I am so sorry you are suffering, I am sending love and strength, although it sounds like that steel is growing stronger every day. You are a strong woman. Trust that the hurt you are enduring is growing you in exactly the ways you need right now.

    It is a really healthy quality to be able to pick your battles, and I'm so glad that you have found a kind of equilibrium in situations that previously would have sent you seething. It's a good self-protection thing. Sometimes you just have to roll your eyes and walk away.

    Hey, mrs b told me the other day about this study they did where they reckon you can learn a new language by listening to it through an app ir something while you sleep ... that must have been you Deebs, you clever amazing genius.

    Yes I think the universe is telling you to go to the Dr Goodall talks, is it feasible for you?

    You are such a naughty rebel, reading the synopsis of the book. Hopefully it didn't give too much away, there are a few reviews on Goodreads that have huge spoilers that I think would take away from it. Avoid those! Anyway, I think you would find it interesting but I will say no more.

    Will you do something nice for yourself today? Take gorgeous Grandy's advice and do something just special for you. (Huge thanks to the bbffs as always, you really are beautiful souls).

    I will be back to talk more with you, I am sorry I am not much chop at the moment, and my thoughts and words aren't flowing easily. But I am sending love.

    🌻birdy xo

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  9. Peppermintbach
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    11 March 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear friend/beautiful birdy (and a wave to all),

    It means a lot that you’re here...I know how hard things have been for you, so your visits mean that much more. Thank you so much for reaching out, listening and being here, dear friend. You have a loving and generous heart...

    On that note, please don’t apologise. There’s nothing to be sorry for, and you make perfect sense to me :) I’m going to again gently suggest that you take your time with posts and replies ...look after yourself first. You’re very, very important to us...

    Your lovely, mrs b, is certainly full of interesting knowledge. I might need to give the learning another language in my sleep theory a go. Lol. Good idea...

    It’s more of a time consideration than anything else, as in whether I will be free for one of Dr Goodall’s talks (or whether I have something else on). I’ve to double check my commitments/responsibilities around that time period before I can decide...I’ll see..,

    Lol. That book you mentioned does sound intriguing. An unusual storyline that sounds promising...

    I had a hectic day on Friday. I just have a lot on, in general, so there’s really little time for pause. Just have to keep pushing on. There’s no space for me to fall apart...

    Just have to keep going...also, my cultural heritage is big on “duty”, stoicism and grit. It’s a bit of a cultural phenomenon/common in many eastern cultures, which is my heritage, so I’m somewhat used to it...

    Thank you again for, as always, being such a wonderful friend. I’m very blessed. I think of you often and send you and mrs b my kind thoughts and love....

    Much love xoxox

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  10. Peppermintbach
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    18 March 2019

    Hi all,

    I just wanted to share a stray thought...

    One powerful lesson that I’ve recently learnt is I don’t think life will ever truly be free of pain, not really. But (sometimes) that’s not what matters, it’s how we carry pain that makes all the difference...

    I have been (selectively) drawing upon some of the teachings/philosophies from my heritage recently...about grit and stoicism in the face of adversity (and even life in general) that are helping to see me through...

    Sometimes, I do feel torn between western culture and my own eastern heritage (speaking very broadly here). I don’t identify strictly with one or the other; I suppose that I see value in both (as well as things that I would like to challenge in both)...

    So, I identify with (aspects of) both, and it has taken a long time for me to realise that that’s okay...

    Thank you for reading. Kind thoughts to all...

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  11. Ggrand
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    18 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Dear Gentle Peppy,

    If it’s okay I would like to sit quietly next to you, and to reassure you that it’s okay to be you...and if you identify with both your eastern heritage and the western heritage and they make you who you are...

    Embrace them both Peppy..challenge them if you must...live and think from a bit of both...your special dear lady...your unique. one of a kind.....only you can be you..and I think your awesome...

    Peppy....l🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀...7 lucky 4 leaf clovers...Make one wish daily for 7 days....I hope they come true for you...💚💚..

    Birdy I hope your doing okay as well beautiful lady..🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻...7 Lucky sunflowers...Make a wish daily for 7 days....I hope they also come true for you..

    Love and hugs dear Peppy and Birdy..💜🤗🤗..

    Grandy...

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  12. Birdy77
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    19 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Friend,

    It is absolutely, totally ok for you to identify with parts, or take parts of different ideas, cultures, philosophies, teachings! Whatever speaks to your soul and helps guide you on your way is right for you and you can pick and choose those pieces to customise support for your soul.

    There is something so peaceful and grounding in many eastern teachings. What I like a lot about many of them is that they are very empowering, about going inward, and finding your own truth and your own path, peace and power rather than looking for it in an external deity.

    Do you have any favourite teachers/books etc?

    I think that your recent lesson about life is probably universally spot on. I don't think life will ever be pain-free, pain and suffering are just part of being alive, and yes, it's about learning how to carry it the best you can, and accepting it and having compassion for yourself in that pain, and also having compassion for the pain itself:

    A lesson i remember reading from Thich Nhat Hanh about the practice of welcoming the painful feelings or the suffering, I think he might have been talking about Anger in the example I'm thinking of (I will try to find it on my bookshelf later), and giving them (the feelings) space and love and compassion as you feel them. He gave an example something like "oh hello Anger, it's you again, come here and I will take care of you and give you the love and attention that you need" ... it can sound a smidgen absurd (which can also be helpful) but it's also really beautiful; To acknowledge these feelings that we might think of as negative or destructive, and treat them with patience, love and understanding can be a really moving and transformative practice.

    I'm not sure why that came up, but I think I needed reminding of it, so thank you my friend 😊

    I'm glad you are leaning into whatever will support and empower you as you work through the difficulties and suffering that you are facing right now. During my darkest times, I have felt truly upheld listening to dharma talks and reading beautiful wisdom from eastern spirituality. Whatever supports your precious spirit and helps you to be you should be held in your heart like a treasure.

    Love,

    🌻birdy xo

    Grandy, thank you so much for the seven daily wishes with my lucky sunflowers! You are a lovely lady. xo

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  13. Peppermintbach
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    22 March 2019

    Hi to all the lovely people,

    Gorgeous Grandy: of course it’s okay for you to keep us company here. Your warm presence is always something very welcome and to be treasured :)

    Thank you for your very uplifting and encouraging words. Aren’t you lovely? Alway trying to build others up. We love that about you...

    7 four leaf clovers is very special, thank you so much. I love it! I’ll have to think about how I want to use my 7 wishes...thinking away now

    Love and hugs accepted and reciprocated xoxo

    Beautiful birdy/dear friend: As always, your presence, thoughts and friendship are most welcome here and are things that I hold close to heart :)

    I’m glad that you’ve found comfort and reassurance in a way that works for you/resonates with you. It sounds like you’ve found some of that in eastern teachings, dear friend.

    I recall you have mentioned (quoted) Thich Nhat Hahn a few times before. It sounds like he has had a profound, but positive, influence on you.

    You seem to be working through a lot of difficult emotions at the moment...obviously there’s no pressure or obligation, but if you ever want to talk about it, just know we’re all here for you. I think of you often, and send my love and care...

    I don’t know if maybe this sounds strange to you or not, but I don’t actually have a favourite teacher/book on eastern teachings/philosophies. I feel as though you’re probably much more well read in this area than me ;)

    I think the reason is because of my heritage/family, I grew up amidst its teachings. All that I know, I learnt directly from family and relatives in the way that we interacted, nuances in language and expression, values, habits and customs, etc. So it was all incorporated into our daily lives, almost as tacit knowledge.

    Thank you again for being here. It truly does mean a lot, and I’m always grateful for your friendship.

    Is it okay if I ask how have you been?

    Much warmth and love xoxox

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  14. demonblaster
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    28 March 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hiya lovely Peppystar 🤗 and y/our beautiful friends 😊 and readers

    Peps I'm so sorry its taken so long to get here for you, I read what you said and kept meaning to get back, for a wee while I wasnt posting much.

    I think its great taking some teachings or learnings from different places, I think like life we learn from many different sources and people. I'm glad you said somes helping you get through. I want to see you happy Peps you're such a lovely Peppy 🤗 yes a bit generous with hugs today ..hymmm 🤔 ..wonder if she'll be just as generous with 🍫 and she might even give me 2, one for Grandy

    I hope you're having some goods happening in your life huns

    Know your one that's in my thoughts. Much love to you dear friend. ☘⚘🌴

    Hey Tweety hope you too are going better it's awful knowing people you love and care about are struggling. 🤗

    Sending 😊 to everyone and 😆

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  15. Peppermintbach
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    19 April 2019 in reply to demonblaster
    Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

    How lovely it is to see you here :) This is my late thank you for visiting.

    What a caring post. It was very heart warming and I’m so glad we are friends. It means a lot that you’re thinking of me and that you took the time to reach out to me...

    Your love is happily accepted and reciprocated. You and Grandy can both have more than 2 choccie bars from my stash. Free of charge ;)

    Super soul hugs and much love xoxo
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  16. Birdy77
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    19 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Hello Friend 😊

    I am sorry it has taken me such a long time to reply to you. I have been in a bad place, and after a stressful and pretty wretched time (culminating in mrs b and i having a fight (which is not something we do, It Was Awful) and a lot of tears), I think things are now improving, after reaching a low point. Sorry for all the confusing parentheses. I've been planting flowering bulbs and garlics and vegetables the last couple of weeks and have started on some improvements to the house which have all been things that have helped me to start feeling good.


    In response to your last message, no I don't think it sounds strange that you don't have a favourite teacher/book in which you find refuge. It makes sense that it's all sort of an intrinsic part of your life as you were raised with those teachings as part of your everyday. I have a few that I really like, Pema Chödrön, Jack Cornfield among them, and a few fave books that I retreat to in times of darkness and despair.

    How have things been going for you? I would love to hear how you are. I think of you often, even when I don't post.


    We had some friends come to stay and I made lots of vegan goodies, I thought of you and wished you could have joined in.

    Anyway I would love to hear how things are going for you when/if you feel up to it.

    Sending my love,

    🌻birdy xo

    Deebs, thank you as always for your love and care. Sending love to you and your bbff as ever - I hope you lovely ladies are taking good care of yourselves, and everyone else reading Pepper's thread. Be well. xo
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  17. Peppermintbach
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    20 April 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear friend/beautiful birdy (and a wave to all),

    How lovely is it to see you here :) As always, I’m gently extending my hand in friendship....I know things have been very rough on you lately...

    The low point sounds like a truly horrendous and frightening place to be. The fight with your beloved must have been heart breaking. Fights with loved ones tend to be the most painful...

    But I’m very happy that there seems to have been a turning point. I suppose when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up, or however that famous saying goes...then again, I think you knew what you had to do all along, but it was just a matter of processing your feelings, facing yourself and perhaps just needing time...

    I know how much the garden nurtures and rejuvenates you, so I’m glad you’re spending time there :) I hope the home renovations/additions are coming along nicely too, but perhaps more importantly, it’s helping to lift your spirits.

    I have just been bothered about a range of things. Sometimes, I would think about writing here about certain things. But more often than not, I would back out as I usually feel it’s the smartest decision, all things considered.

    Unfortunately, and how I wish this was not the case, culture can be a difficult conversation to have/get others to understand empathetically. As I am from a CALD background myself and part of a cultural minority (or call me what you will), this is an important & personal conversation.

    I spent almost a lifetime rejecting my cultural heritage to “fit in” or I was (still am sometimes) even directly or indirectly told/reminded of my cultural “otherness” or “non-belonging.” I think when you try to reject something that is such a core part of yourself (as I have for years & years), inevitably the floodgate opens as it has recently... I’m still wrapping my head around culture & identity and what that means to me. It’s a work in progress.

    But, as I mentioned, this is usually not an easy or straightforward conversation. (Multiple) past experiences have left me feeling hurt and disheartened, so it makes me wary and somewhat jaded. I don’t mean by you or anyone else here, but I’m just speaking in general terms. So this sometimes comes out as relative silence on my thread...

    Anyway, the treats that you made for your friends and mrs b sound delicious. I would have loved to have been there for the wonderful company and food. Lucky them :)

    Much love from me xoxox

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  18. Ggrand
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    21 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Happy Easter Peppy.....and birdie...

    I hope you are doing well lovely ladies...💕.

    I’m just popping in to deliver some yummy Easter chocolate 🍫 for you both..Oh and Mrs b as well...I really hope you both are doing better then okay....inside the biggest chocolate 🍫 is a crystal jar full of belief...When you start doubting yourselves please just open the little crystal jar and it will remind you of your inner strength and how strong you are...

    Love and hugs..💕🤗.

    Grandy..

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  19. Peppermintbach
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    22 April 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

    Thank you so very much for the special present and well wishes. But perhaps more importantly, thank you so much for thinking of me when I know you’ve been struggling and hurting...

    The crystal jar is absolutely stunning! What a thoughtful and kind touch that you put a reminder of inner strength in it.

    I know it will come in handy in times of struggle. I’ll cherish it, lovely one. Thank you again for your kindness and generosity, lovely one

    Much love and care xoxo

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  20. Peppermintbach
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    24 April 2019

    Hi lovely people,

    Thank you so much for being here and for writing and/or reading :) Thank you all for your presence and support...just sharing some scattered thoughts of mine.

    I have a lot on my mind lately, and I’m trying to introduce some major changes in my life. I’m a little tired and somewhat over it...

    Trying to unify the fragmented parts of myself. I once said to UB, it’s like having raw material, but not knowing what to do with it (or even what it’s for)...

    Trying to deal with problems and trying to move forward too...problems and issues remain but it’s not really about that. I think there will always be problems, struggles and pain (that’s just life), but it’s about how I carry it...figuring out the carrying part as well...

    Kind thoughts to all and thank you again,

    Pepper xoxo

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  21. Ggrand
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    24 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Gentle Peppy..🍀..

    I was saddened shen I read your last post...I’m deeply sorry your struggling so much.....

    Peppy I feel the same about problems being always with us throughout our lives...It is how we handle them the best we can...People with mh I feel have a harder task ahead of us trying the best we can to carry our mh the best way we can..and Peppy sweety that’s all we can do...is to try our best...We are always going to have really bad down days as well as really great days...It’s on the good days were have to try to focus our hearts on..and the bad days let the memories disappear with the sun set...

    I want to thank you here as well as I will on mine for your beautiful post to me...You made me feel loved and cared for.,you are such a beautiful and special person Peppy..believe in yourself sweety and the beauty you hold in your heart..You’re an amazing person..💜...Please be very gentle on yourself...

    Sending you lots of love and carding hugs..💜..🐻🤗..

    P...Peppy one of a kind....A gentle and beautiful person with a heart that’s pure gold..

    🍀Grandy...🍀🍫🌷..

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  22. demonblaster
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    25 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Lovely Peppystar and other loves 🤗

    Thanks always lovey for your beautiful words and appreciation ⚘

    It is sad seeing such a genuine lovely caring person struggling so much. Not fair Peppy 🤗

    I'm not expecting an answer to this next comment. I wonder that in your childhood you had some grief over your heritage that causes you a lot of division within yourself. Sweety you are you, you're unique, there's only one person in the world like you. Beautiful kind caring soul that should be happy it's the mutts in this world who cause grief that can have the sads.

    It seems you're a thinker my lovely which I really don't know if we can achieve peace without thought. I hope you're getting time for your art in your weeks, I know you get pleasure out of that 🎨🖼

    Ummm did you get your flask of Pumpkin soup that darling Grandy was going to leave at your warehouse door, see I'm getting a little too thin due to lack of 🍫 and have been so patiently 😡 waiting for my 🚚 load.

    I do think about you quite often lovely friend and hope you're well both ways mentally and physically ☺.

    Now what I really have been patient with is something good about yourself lovely, there really is lots of things hun it won't be that hard I promise you 🤗 and the better you feel about yourself with good reasons is a start to peace and happiness my friend.

    Always give your best to yourself Peppy you're so deserving 💗☘⚘🍫oops soz that's mine 😲 see how my mouths ready 😄

    Love friendship and care darl 🤗 umm that was 4 hugs... 🗯 🤔wonder if I'd get 4 extra 🍫 for those.

    Hey our gorgeous very loved and appreciated Tweety 🐥 as well ☺

    I'm very sorry you've been having a hard time of it too darlin. I was missing you truly, noticed it'd been quite a while since I saw a feather floating around. Really hope it's all still getting back on the up lovely friend. Often that's the way we hit bottom then work our way up. Love and care very much about you sweetheart you're a real gem 🤗💗🍃🌱

    Go easy beautiful people we deserve peace 🕊

    🐧 cute or what

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  23. Birdy77
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    26 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Hello Friend,

    I wrote you a big reply, but then decided it was a huge load of nonsense so I deleted it! I might still send it, depending on my mood later, but I wanted to write to you to say that I am listening to you, and when/if you feel like talking about anything, I'm here.

    I think I understand what you mean about feeling tired - it's exhausting when you are trying to integrate changes and new ways of being into your life. Feeling like you need to explain yourself and why you want to change can be tiring in itself, it feels extra hard when so much around you feels like it stays the same, sometimes trying to hold you back. Like you are trying to move forward through marshes of thick mud, rather than the clear springwater that would bubble you along to fresh parts of the stream of your life.

    When you say you are over it, I hope you don't feel totally disheartened, or discouraged, or not so much that you feel like giving in anyway. Please feel free to talk about things if it will help, I would love to talk through stuff with you, or to at least listen and encourage if you just need to let it out.

    For now, I would also like to remind you to have a smidgen of patience with yourself, and please don't be hard on yourself and burnout. Deep, lasting change does not happen instantaneously. It is slow and steady growth that ends up being strong. This will sound corny, but I'm gonna say it anyway: I have been observing some young citrus trees I planted about a year ago. One has lately sent out this enormously rapidly growing branch ... it has grown so quickly it can't hold itself up, and droops with the weight of its leaves, so I have had to provide supports for it. The other branches have grown more slowly, but can hold their own weight. True story.

    Much love for now,

    🌻birdy xo

    Grandy, your beautiful present is deeply appreciated - remember your inner strength as well, your reserves go deep. You are such an incredibly thoughtful, kind and gentle lady, it is a privilege to know you.

    Deebs, thank you as always, you are one awesome person, and I am always awed by your huge and generous heart. I am sorry to have not been floating many feathers around lately, but will be venturing out of my nest a bit more. Thank you for your love and care and beautiful words.

    xoxo
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  24. Peppermintbach
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    29 April 2019

    Hi lovely people,

    Gorgeous Grandy: thank you so much for being here in your heartfelt and deeply caring way. Your hugs and love are gratefully accepted and reciprocated.

    I agree with you that we can simply try our best. Thank you for the gentle reminder...

    I don’t think I’m very good at being gentle with myself, but thank you for the caring nudge. I’m definitely more likely to impose a tough love approach towards myself.

    Warm hugs, love and care xoxo

    Wonderful DB: thank you to you too :) Your presence here is appreciated very much...

    Yes, I’m still thinking about my heritage and what that means to me. Thank you for your thoughtful insight/gentle nudge...it did hit a nerve though perhaps not in the way you may expect. It’s hard to explain...

    Pumpkin soup happily received. It was delicious! Lol. Always trying to get free choccie bars from me. Okay, okay...you can have 4 choccie bars for the 4 hugs ;)

    Super soul hugs and much love xoxo

    beautiful birdy/dear friend: Thank you so much for the very loving and thoughtful analogy. Moreover, thank you for being here and for your friendships, especially when I know you’re struggling.

    Yes, I know the analogy was based on a true story ;) As you already know, patience is something that I find really difficult, dear friend...

    I have a fear of pausing/slowing down, because I worry it will stop me from reaching my goals. Also, I would feel as though I’m making up petty excuses to not push myself...

    I’m surrounded by accomplished people, and it makes me question if I’m working hard enough, committed enough, using my time wisely, etc, etc. While they do have natural talent and intelligence, there’s also a lot of long hours and sacrificed sleep and weekends...so it makes it hard for me to justify pausing, etc. On the rare occasion that I take it easy/slow down, the guilt ends up being great.

    As much as I go on about other people being gentle to themselves,
    I have an entirely different set of standards and “rules” for myself. It’s definitely more of a stick than carrot approach...anything less and I feel as though I’m being lazy, shirking my responsibilities or selfish.

    I don’t believe that I have the right to be kinder to myself till I’m a better person, and I’m nowhere near there. It’s a privilege and not a right...

    I would love to read what you had deleted. Thank you, as always, for being here and for your wisdom and for always listening, my friend. I truly do cherish your friendship....

    Much love to you xoxox

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  25. Ggrand
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    29 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Dearest Gentle Peppy🍀 waves to Deebi, Birdy and all🤗..

    Awe sweety.....I wish I could give you a huge cuddle for real..You sound really hard on yourself, yet your gentle nature here shines like the golden soul you carry in your body....

    Pausing or slowing down..giving yourself time to breathe and relax..I feel is needed in order to reach your goals, it gives you some strength and more ideas how to be or where you want to be in your career...instead of full speed ahead and pushing yourself too much which only causes burn out and dissapointment in yourself...💜🍀..

    Peppy...You shouldn’t feel guilty over giving yourself time to relax, everyone’s needs to have time for self care, to look after themselves...The guilt you feel is not right sweety...You deserve to relax and have time out.🤗...

    There are always people who are more accomplished then the next person and the next so on and so on...I don’t know what your career is, but I’ll gentle remind you that you wouldn’t be were you are working with these people If you weren’t accomplished in your work...Please Peppy take time to step back and see this for yourself....recognise your own accomplishments as your bosses and work colleagues do...

    Im the same as I’m quite sure a lot of us here are..telling others to be gentle and kind to ourselves when we are not doing the same for ourselves....being gentle and kind to you is so very important...Take a longer shower, sit in the sun each day for a while, have that yummy cake with your cuppa, enjoy a night out with friends, sit at home and relax, sleep in on the week ends....do what you feel to do sweet lady, be gentle and kind to you is not a privilege sweetheart...please never think that... because it’s a necessity dear Peppy to balance your life between work and you🤗..

    Your a beautiful, gentle, caring, compassionate person to others here and r/l...please be the same towards you also...You definitely deserve nothing less...Deebi asks you for you to give her a good about you...I know so many goods about you dear Peppy...The ones I’ve just described is only a start, there’s so many more...look into your heart and see the beautiful soul you have, that’s how I/we see you..Your soul is gold Peppy and nothing less..

    Big love and as many soul hugs as you need 💜💜💕🤗🤗🤗🤗🍀..gentle friend..

    🍀Grandy..

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  26. Ggrand
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    29 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Birdy...

    I ran out of room...sometimes I talk to much 😂...I also wanted to know how your feeling?..and hope your feeling better then your yesterday’s....and that you are being kind and gentle to yourself....you’re such a beautiful, caring person Sweety Tweety and I wanted to let you know that..

    Today is a beautiful day where I am, sun shining, no clouds 19 degrees.....I hope it’s the same where you are..if it is...why not sit outside in the sunshine and have some nice refreshing fruit juice..oh..and some bread so you can just leasurely throw some pieces to your chickens and sit back and watch them enjoying themselves and hopefully they will give you a few 😂 to bring some beautiful smiles 😁 to your beautiful soul....You’re an amazing person Birdy.....💜🤗..

    Love and hugs dear friend..💜💜🤗🤗...

    Grandy...

    Awe Peppy I’m sorry I kind of hijacked your thread...I know Birdy is holding your hand and listens here....I hope it was okay Peppy...

    4 people found this helpful
  27. Birdy77
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    30 April 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Hello Friend,

    Seriously, please forgive the following. It honestly comes with so much love and concern, my head is just a mess right now. ...

    I could not read your post without thinking, "imagine if I was writing what Pepper is writing ... and imagine what she would say to me in response?" (You would say a bunch of wise things about being kind to myself because I deserve kindness and that being treated gently is not a privilege but a right. Correct?) ... and I was going to try and be clever and rewrite it all back to you in my own words and ask you to respond as if it was to me (if that in any way makes sense), but it all got too confusing (and just reading that paragraph back to myself gave me a headache!!).

    Of course what Grandy has said to you is absolutely true. Please re-read her message. As many times as you need to, until you hear it.

    But I also, of course, do totally understand what you are saying.

    I was wondering about the feeling that you get around the people you described that surround you. Eg, they might be very successful on their path, and they make many sacrifices and dedicate much of their time to what they do.

    But do their values match yours?

    I only ask because I have had the experience of being around such people. High powered, hugely successful, incredibly wealthy ... those kinds of things. And I always found myself (still do) comparing myself to them and their lifestyles and successes. I am still conflicted, because I have chosen a very different path to these people (friends of mine), and I have the tendency to look at myself as a failure, sometimes, compared to them.

    But when it comes down to it, it is not always fair to compare myself to them. . These people have not had to contend with anxiety or depression, their mental health is not something that has held them back or constrained them or compelled them to take different paths for the sake of staying alive. Things like this (so sorry for ineloquence) .

    On top of that: my ideals are different to their ideals and my lifestyle reflects this.

    I know that the culture in which you were raised plays a part in the feeling you have of must-keep-going no matter what, and must-strive-always, no matter how you feel inside, and the guilt that builds when you take take time for yourself.

    I'm not really hitting the point that I wanted to make ... please forgive me, my head and heart are a bit of a wreck at the moment, and it's more difficult than usual to say just what I mean.

    I guess I would be interested to know if you share ideals, ethics, dreams, ideologies as the people around you? And if not, then it might make sense to diverge from their methodology and put into practice how you want your future to unfold. Maybe sacrificing weekends and dedicating long hours works for them and their life-goals - but does it work for yours?

    I don't know my friend, this is, I'm pretty sure, a load of rubbish post, I'm really struggling to find the words , but I am sending this with the hope that it makes a bit of sense, and that it reaches you in the spirit of total love with which I have sent it.

    And still without having quite said what I wanted to say, this comes with much love,

    🌻birdy xo

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  28. Peppermintbach
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    1 May 2019

    Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

    Thank you so much for the very caring and post. I’ll gladly accept that hug, lovely one...

    Sorry, I feel as though I wasn’t very clear. I wasn’t necessarily referring to my career. That is an aspect of it, but not the complete picture in terms of my goals...

    I do have certain expectations of myself. I expect and demand a lot from myself. If I reach some sort of personal goal, I quickly aim even higher...it’s this continuous process...If I don’t succeed, and it’s important to me, I get pretty angry and disappointed in me...

    It’s hard for me to do all those lovely things you suggested. Maybe 1-2 here and there might be okay, but any more and I start feeling the guilt...

    But what I wanted to say most of all was thank you for being here. Thank you for being so gentle and caring. Every post you write comes straight from your heart...it really shows. You have the purest heart...

    Love and care xoxo

    Dear friend/beautiful birdy: here, take my hand...you sound so exhausted, shaken & sad...

    There is nothing to apologise for or for me to “forgive.” I understand all you said was from a place of love...nothing “rubbish” about it at all, but nurturing offerings....

    Gentle she goes, birdy...we love you just as you are...

    Sorry, I wasn’t very clear...I wasn’t referring to money or power. It was more about passion, commitment, dedication and grit...

    As for culture, you’re right, “duty” was an enormous part of my upbringing. It’s the norm.

    How I wish you could see yourself through our lens...to see the beautiful, deeply caring, intelligent, insightful & kind person you are, regardless of what path you have or haven’t walked...

    I know it’s hard not to compare, especially when wealth & power is the currency of success, & perhaps because of your dad. But the high powered have problems too; perhaps they want to maintain a certain image, so it stops them from being open?

    Regardless, I hear your self doubt. I know it’s hard not to compare, but your mrs b fell in love with the kind & insightful birdy, not birdy, the rich executive.

    We love the animal loving, vegan food cooking, home DIY queen and gardening extraordinaire. I’m saying, social expectations aside, you are perfect just as you are. Don’t go changing a thing, okay? ;)

    If you ever want to chat or vent here, but no rush, obligation or pressure, I welcome you with open arms. I’m always listening...here or elsewhere...we want to be here for you....

    Love from me xoxox

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  29. Ggrand
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    1 May 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hello Peppily...

    Thank you for such beautiful words you spoke to me...Your heart is gold Peppy ..Please don’t forget that..ever..🤗💜🍀

    Ive been thinking about your post...I’ll,probably get it wrong again🤗.. sometimes it’s hard for me to understand what I’m reading..At times my mind doesn’t work properly..
    Peppily...I hope deeply in my heart that my words come out right and don’t hurt you in any way...You mean a lot to me dear friend.....I know you have succeeded in many ways in your life...your putting your heart and soul into everything you do..and I really hope that your dreams come true for you.

    Please can you try really hard not to make yourself a slave to your expectations, Its so easy to let them rob you of your happiness..I mean when you do achieve something..,it sounds to me that it will never be good enough for you because you’ll try to make that achievement grow by more hard work and dedicate your time to continue achieving more and more...Loosing your happiness along the way.

    Some people will continue to climb higher and higher trying to reach the top of the mountain to reach the goals they set for themselves...but sweety their is alway going to be a higher mountain...and each mountain your trying to climb will more likely add to your anxiety...and depression...
    I believe that you should fight to meet your expectation but you shouldn’t base your personal satisfaction and happiness on them....You know Peppy, It’s okay darling if you don’t reach your goals..sometimes life throws curve balls at us, and for some reason or another life might not go to your plans...Dont stop working toward the goals you’ve set for yourself..but you need to try to be accepting of you and try to be happy along the way...enjoy life along the way..

    We all need a goal and a dream to keep us motivated and to push ourselves to be the best person we can....I think thats a little bit about what life is ...but it’s not what all of what life should be....happiness with ourselves should be the bigger part of life We should do things because we love doing them, and enjoy doing them..

    Life is about being happy inside your heart and soul while your working to be where you want to be....not by placing happiness on achieving your goals....You should have happiness along the way in your progress, as well as in your daily life....Life is a precious gift..and definitely should include happiness along your journey in life..

    Love and hugs Dearest Peppy..💜🤗.

    Grandy..l...


    4 people found this helpful
  30. demonblaster
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    2 May 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Peppystar our beautiful friend 💟 Grandy 💜 Tweety 🐣and all ☺
    Darlin I've given your post so much thought which is why it's taken me longer to land here and going to re read

    Honestly our beautiful Tweety and Grandy have done amazing posts I'm not sure I can add much.
    A lot resonates with me hun so I have some understanding.

    Not being a career driven person or a high achiever although a distinction in nursing was I guess, I can maybe throw a spin from that angle.

    I hope this isn't too soon to work on that nerve honestly I don't want to annoy you but I do feel that a lot of how you feel would be not as much from under achieving more low self esteem compliments of beasty although I can see how as has been mentioned your heritage seems to be a contributor. Ahh Peppy darlin 🤗

    I as we all really want to see you happy. I feel if you can build on liking yourself more confidence grows which potentially apart from feeling happier it may not bother you as much at work because you'd feel more content in yourself and worth which we all see and love you. That speaks volumes hun 🙂

    It's sad Peppily hearing you so down because you're so lovely. Gentle caring a great friend intelligent which is easy to see and the list goes on.

    It is easy I know to compare ourselves but I think all that really matters in a job is if the people or at least most are good to be with and that you like it. I get the feeling huns that anything you do would be done well. When you go home lovely do you feel you did a good job?

    Thanks for the 4 yums 🍫 ummm but I haven't got them yet... hand over mouth bobbing head stifling laughter nya ha ha...oh and I could throw in another 🎃 soup 🙄

    Sending much love and an extra 🤗 one guess why 💟✨🎨☘

    Tweety beautiful. What lovely friends are made here. Sweety I'm working my way to you. Seeing our lovelies hurting 😐
    Beautiful what you said about loving BBFF and I. No lies same back tweets your a real gem. Darlin the depressions making you feel you didn't write well, honestly it was fantastic.

    Grandy love 🤗💜💑 same as Tweety excellent posts.

    Peaceful good sleeps my beautifuls 🤗💗🤝🐧

    2 people found this helpful

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