Elsam - you can identify the issues, you can identify what's not okay and that you have become co-dependent. Please, from someone that has been through DV, now that you know what is going on and how it's happening. Reach out to groups that can help remove you from the situation. You know you need to go. You've said it so many words that aren't those words. You recognise he can live without you, and you have lived without him. Not for long periods, but you have. 25 years of DV doesn't go away with counselling or mediation. Please, my dear soul, get yourself the help you need to find the strength to go - find a psychologist that deals with DV and relationship issues. If you need medication to help, use it. You are a strong person, you may not see it through your eyes, but no one puts up with crap for 25 freaking years and isn't a strong person. You are not here seeking some sort of support and not be a strong person.
There are articles and blogs and pages and pages of information on how to leave a DV situation, how you can take steps to be ready to go, how you can do it and prevent anyone you don't want to know from knowing you are prepping to go. Depending on where you live, there are organisations here in australia that will come take you out of a situation if you require it, and can help set you up in housing and all the supplies you need to exist. They can provide counselling, support, education, job help, and tons more. You 'KNOW' that you need out of it. You 'KNOW' it is not going to change. Please, dear human that I love just because you are human, you are strong enough to go, I promise you will land on your feet - it may be hard, it may have lots of tears, you may have to fight, but you are strong, brave, and worth it. I don't know if you are like me and just need to hear the hard truths in life, but you are more than what you have been. We are all here for you, now find your feet. They are still there, and know how to do it.