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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

Topic: My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

  1. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    12 February 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    I need to be useful and help another animal. My life is totally empty without. I cry everyday for my beloved whom I lost 4 weeks and one day ago :(. The emptiness kills me. She was everywhere I was. I barely left her....I cannot even explain how much I miss her and how empty and horrible my life is now. I posted on another forum earlier as I am at the point where I don't care anymore. My life is one disaster after another. Being an older parent to an unruly 18 year old son with ZERO SUPPORT from anyone is bad enough. Losing the one soul I loved unconditionally and have ZERO SUPPORT from 'family' has almost destroyed me. I do not know what is wrong with 'people'.  

    I do not know why I was born. My entire life has been one series of dramas and traumas after another....it is insane. But I do know I adore animals and will do anything I can to help them. If that is my journey I am blessed as that is a journey I am more than happy to take. I have begun that journey and I will meet with my potential (!) foster on Tuesday. I say ! as the people who love me say it will be a foster fail...as in I will keep the darling! :) I will certainly do everything I can for her and any others that come my way. My life obviously revolves around my passion, care and love for dogs.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Matchy69
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    12 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    I think fostering a dog will be great for you and concertante on something you really love and will get unconditional love back.The animals in our lives give us so much love and happiness that a lot of people can't show or give.I understand about being an older parent as I have an 18,y.o and a 10 Y.o and really feel my age trying to manage my son with his special needs.Maby a foster dog will be good for your son.
    2 people found this helpful
  3. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    13 February 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Matchy

    I a so sorry you have such issues to deal with also. I am meeting the hound on Tuesday apparently; I cannot wait. I know I need another doggy in my life. Life is empty and meaningless without.

    Yes my son loved beloved and he is coping in his own way. But of course he didn't love her as I did/do. He has not experienced grief/ trauma/loss in his life as I had by the age of ten years old :(

    Thanks for responding. It means a lot.

    Sending big hugs

    xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Matchy69
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    13 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    I hope Tuesday goes well and you have another dog in your life.You have so much love to give it and be so well cared for by you.I think we need to stick to the things in life that makes us happy and give us purpose like caring for a neglected or abused dog.I think this might be really good for you.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Guest_1573
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    14 February 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Thankyou xx

    Yes I am very excited to meet with the darling little soul! I will let you know what happens!

  6. missep123
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    14 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Hi Panicmerchant,

    I think it is amazing that there are people like you out there who have such a big heart and are open to fostering and giving love to those who really need it.

    Please keep us updated on how you go!

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    15 February 2022

    I just met with my foster dog! She is absolutely sweet and beautiful and I love her already! The organisation involved are getting some gear ready and I will have her on Friday! I am so excited to give her the loving home she deserves. She will need training but that is all going to be arranged for me. She was incredibly excited to meet me and tried to give me a few kisses! Darling girl. She won't know herself when she comes here to live; talk about landing on ones' paws!

    I will update once she is here. xx

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Matchy69
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    15 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    That's great news about your foster dog.It will be so well looked after and loved by you.It certainly is going to the right home.
    1 person found this helpful
  9. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    18 February 2022

    My darling foster doggy is here! She is absolutely sweet and beautiful! She adores it here already; the huge yard; lots of lovely food and comfy beds...she met my teenage son and went crazy! Zoomies all over the house! She has made us so happy in such a short time!

    xxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Matchy69
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    18 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    That's great to hear.I thought another dog in your life would make you happy.It will be so loved and looked after by you.
  11. mmMekitty
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    18 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Oh, your foster-dog sounds wonderful - maybe a very adorable handful! 😺

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    19 February 2022
    Hehe she is a right character! Been a very exhausting 24 hours but she is slowly settling in!
  13. mmMekitty
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    19 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Have you managed to get any photos? Videos? (Wish I could be there!)

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    19 February 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    Indeed! But I don't think I can post them here?

    She is a lovely pale fudge colour. Very black on snout and around eyes....bits of white here and there! Very cute huge feet; very smooth coat except for her hilarious whiskers, beard and long fur on her back! She is crossed with a hound of some desciption (ie wolf/stag). She has enormous velvet ears. Very bright beautiful brown eyes. I love her so already. She loves me too I am sure.

    She has had many treats and loves my yard; it is huge and considering she was living on a scrap of pavers (angry face) she is blown away with all the lovely sights and smells. She loves fresh water (she never had that). She loves food! She especially loves being told she is a beautiful girl and that I love her.

    I can't take her to training yet as she is not vaccinated or desexed (angry face again). The dog trainer said it is probably best to just keep her quiet here for at least two weeks to get her used to her new home and to destress. Even though this new life is paradise for her it is still stressful as she is not used to so much stimulus and kindness. Poor darling girl. Seriously people should need a licence to own animals! (Angry face ...yet again).

    So I will just be with her. Look after her. Give her all the love, kindness and affection that the darling soul deserves. She will be vaccinated and desexed within the next fortnight. I can then begin her training.

    She is currently asleep after playing with her treat ball...so funny! She very quickly worked it out! Has been rolling it all around the house! Darling kid.

    xxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  15. smallwolf
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    19 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    Jumped in and find out you have a new dog! Sounds lovely from your description. And you sound like a very loving and caring person and owner.
    2 people found this helpful
  16. mmMekitty
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    19 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Hello,

    I think people should have to be licenced too, & not only for pets. I'd thoroughly test people, then assess the conditions where the pet will live, & have snap inspections, too.

    She sounds like a very smart dog, too.

    I wonder if the RSPCA would help you with the vaccinations & getting her desexed, (If the Organization can't help)?

    I think the training is an excellent idea. After a while, you can be taking her out & socializing her.

    Watch it with those treats! & the food, because if she had not been sure of a meal, she might be eating as if no meal will be offered the next day, so better eat while the food lasts, no matter if she isn't hungry.

    Long as she is very active, it may not seem a problem, but as she gets older, wanting heaps of food may be a difficult habit to manage. It may also have consequences , like any poor diet would for us.

    Hugs to the lovely dog. Virtual hugs to you. (Yes, dogs & cats get real hugs! 😺)

    mmMekitty

    2 people found this helpful
  17. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    20 February 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    Yes the licencing idea would be fabulous; would protect so many. Will never happen though I don't think.

    The organisation pay for her vaccines and to be desexed. If I adopt her (!) I will buy pet insurance for her. I can't adopt her until she is vaccinated, desexed and trained; which is good in a way as the org will help out with all of that.

    We have a very good obedience class nearby and I spoke at length with the owner yesterday. She is so lovely and helpful. So once baby is covered she can attend. Until then the owner said to just keep things low key and calm.

    She had a wonderful sleep last night on my bed! I don't think she has ever known such comfort!

    xxx

  18. missep123
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    21 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    Panicmerchant - I'm so happy for you! It sounds like this is helping you heal and the puppy couldn't have asked for a better foster parent!!
    1 person found this helpful
  19. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    22 February 2022 in reply to missep123
    Thankyou! She is certainly adorable and helping me heal. Sweetest doggy. xx
    1 person found this helpful
  20. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    26 February 2022

    New doggy is lovely; doing well! I have struggled a bit as pining for my beloved but this cherub is so gorgeous and I know my beloved would be happy. I did ask her as per a previous post and two butterflies appeared. I know people might think I am deluded but the butterflies have been incredibly significant. When I scattered her ashes at the beach butterflies flew past....never in my 55 years have I seen them at the beach. For the last four weeks I have seen so many of them; in my garden and flying around when I am driving. I know it is her.

    So I will be keeping this little chestnut. How could I not? She is delightful and adorable. I will be having her desexed and vaccinated next week then we can begin training! I can't wait to have her calm and socialised so I can take her to all the beautiful beaches and parks that my beloved and I used to frequent!

    I am so grateful to the higher power for giving me this opportunity. I did indeed think my life was over when beloved passed. I had no reason to go on anymore. I am so glad I contacted the rescue group and this darling girl has come to me.

    xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  21. mmMekitty
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    26 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️, hopefull with sunny days for some walking where you are, too. Sghe may be a little (is that an understatement?) now, but getting her used to a lead, I think is a good idea, even before training starts.

    How is your son, with her around there, now? I did read your other post, & have wondered how he has responded with her being as lively & seemingly joyful, adorable as you say. Do you think her presence has effected his mood? Is he willing to help care for her?

    I really hope so, because then, things will be looking brighter for all of you.

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    26 February 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    She is adorable and getting better day by day. She now realises this is her home forever and she cannot believe what a beautiful home she has landed in!

    My son loves her too and there has been a lot of fun and laughter with this hilarious clown girl here! xx

    I am still struggling with the loss of my beloved. Regardless of my new baby it is very raw and I am still really angry at the useless vets. I know I will be alright but sometimes I just cry over her. And the horrid two weeks she went through :( I have emailed both vets and had useless pandering replies. I just have to have faith that I will see her again. She was the love and light of my life.

    On a brighter note cheeky new girl has very quickly asserted herself! She is living the life of Riley ....the best food, beds, toys...numerous outings etc...she is so absolutely sweet. She sleeps on my bed and every morning comes up to thank me for having her...like she wakes up and realises where she is and is so happy instantaneously! She is a right cad too! Very funny....does zoomies and the more we laugh the more she does it.....! She really is a darling.

    I know I will be ok. Having little Miss Hazelnut in my life will make me step up and try to recover from my beloved.

    I hope you and darling cat are well

    xxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  23. mmMekitty
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    26 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Oh what a wonderful name: Hazelnut. I love it! It sounds perfect for her.

    Grief & loss, we deal with as it comes. One thing to remember, when you are laughing at Hazelnuts zooming, you don't love your lost dog any less. It is okay to be finding pleasure & love with this new dog.

    mmMekitty

    2 people found this helpful
  24. missep123
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    27 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    I agree with mmMekitty! Hazelnut is the cutest name!!!

    I once heard that our pets who pass away actually help to bring the next pet into our life. I think that's so beautiful that you saw so many butterflies when you spread the ashes!

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    27 February 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    Her name is Hazel but we call her Hazelnut; and when she is being particularly silly and hilarious we call her Crazel!

    It is so nice that you understand me. I am still torn apart over my beloved and miss her constantly...everything about her was beautiful and to lose her so suddenly and under such horrible circumstances has wreaked havoc on my mental state. Along with all the drama I am experiencing with my teenage son. Sure; sometimes I just wish my beloved was still here but that is never going to happen so I have to move forward with my new dear doggy. She is very sweet and she is getting easier as the days go by. She will be desexed at the end of the week and also vaccinated so I can then get her into training. It will be fantastic when I can take her for the long walks we both need!

    xxxx

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    27 February 2022 in reply to missep123

    The butterflies have been incredible; in the three weeks after losing my beloved I literally saw them everywhere....the same thing happened years ago when I lost my darling boy bustabrown to lymphoma :( he was a rescue pooch and he was only 6 years old :( but the few weeks after him leaving I saw butterflies everywhere. I believe.

    I have so many beloved pooches and cats in heaven. I have to believe I will see them again. Most were rescues and died from old age but a couple died from cancer and one from snake bite. So heartbreaking.

    xx

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Matchy69
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    27 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1573
    Seeing butterfly's sounds like a beautiful thing that it is a sign your beloved pet is safe now and happy and you will see them again.
    1 person found this helpful
  28. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    3 March 2022

    I am so sad. I have to give Hazel up. I have had my son threaten suicide and the amount of stress I am under I simply cannot cope with her. Do not worry. She will be taken on by another foster carer.

    Again. Everything I do to make things nice goes pear shaped. I knew fostering would be difficult and it is. But when my son goes off his nut and does this again and again I seriously can't cope. I have called the ambulance twice in the last fortnight. He has gone off his nut three times. He is in dire need of help and I have finally got him a referral but they can't see him until next week?

    Meanwhile I am up half the night with Hazel and then up early to try to get son to go to school (which does not happen). Hazel is sweet but needs 100% from someone and right now it is all I can do to give her 10%. The amount of attention she and my son need is ridiculous. I seem to spend all of my days placating either one of them/entertaining/cleaning up.....what a life. I never sleep properly and my son has a very bad habit of coming in whenever he feels like it to tell me he can't sleep/feels sad/whatever it is at that moment.. he is almost 18!!

    Once Hazel is safely placed I will begin my new job. My son is going to have to fend for himself. I simply cannot do it anymore. I have begged his father for help and had no response. I will truly die if I cannot get one minutes peace!

    It is horrible and I hope you guys don't hate me. But I just cannot look after two damaged individuals whilst being damaged myself. :(

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Sophie_M
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    6816 posts
    3 March 2022 in reply to Guest_1573

    Hey Panicmerchant,

    It sounds like things are really full on for you and your family right now. We're sorry to hear what's going on. 

    We wanted to check in with you to make sure that you’re ok, and to let you know that we're here if you'd like to talk this through with our counsellors. We're available 24/7 on the phone (1300 22 4636) or via webchat.
     
    We can hear how much you care for your son, he's lucky to have you. We just wanted to let you know that whenever you feel he is unsafe, calling 000 is the right thing to do. You can also reach out to your state's Mental Health Triage Service, for SA this is 13 14 65. There's some more info on how they can help you here.

    We're sorry to hear that you're having to wait for a referral for him. It could also be worth looking at the Beyond Now safety planning app, if you don't already have a safety plan in place with him. We're always here for him, as are Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467), although we know it may be hard to encourage him to make that call. 

    Thank you again for posting, PanicMerchant. No one will hate you, we know how caring you are and it's really important to make sure you're looking after yourself, especially when you are looking after others. There's some tips on doing so here. 
     
    Kind regards,

    Sophie M

    2 people found this helpful
  30. Guest_1573
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    149 posts
    3 March 2022 in reply to Sophie_M

    Dear Sophie

    Many thanks for your response. I just got off the phone to Lifeline...

    LL reiterated that I have to stop giving and doing so much for my son. He is codependent and this situation is totally beyond the pale. I have also spoken to the foster group and they are grateful for what I did for Hazel and assured me she will be alright.

    I will ensure dear Hazel is looked after. I am starting a part time job next week which I am doing for my sanity more than anything else. My son has the options to continue school until he is accepted into university.

    As his father refuses to help in any way it is of course entirely up to me. As usual. I have had 15 years of this. I am totally done. My life died 15 years ago.

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