Hi Appolo Black, thanks so much for your reply.
Yeah, I'm kind of hoping that when he gets better, he'll be able to see how great life is and not weigh himself down with imaginary stresses. When I say imaginary, I mean self imposed. Eg: He works a very stressful job that he doesn't like at all. But won't quit/find other work, even though he has the skill set to do plenty of other great jobs out there. That also answers your question about who pays for the pot and booze - He does. He can also afford to do fun activites if he wants, too.
I made another post a while back titled 'How I Cleared Debilitating Social Anxiety From My Life' and that was all about how making a big change, such as moving or going traveling can completely help you and change your mindset. But for one reason or another, he still wants to stay here, even though the city and our friendship circle is quite toxic (lots of drinking and smoking).
I read somewhere (maybe on these forums?) That an addict will always make excuses for why they need to feed their addiction - eg, alcoholics will always find a reason to have to have a drink, like work events, a friend comes over, they just finished work, or it's their day off etc.. And he is very much like that. I was hoping maybe a big change or a move to a more relaxed region could bring about some peace and calm for his soul (and mine lol).
I guess when it comes to whether our relationship would be good without the booze/pot? Well, I don't know, I've never known him without it. I wanted to wait to see if maybe it would. At the moment he is very self absorbed and I feel that really stems from his addictions. If I ask for his company for a day or an afternoon - to go somewhere, to a movie or for lunch, there is always an excuse. Like he's just finished work and is tired, or if it's his weekend, he's already started partying before I get the chance to ask, or if it's his 'sunday' he just wants to chill at home and play games before he has work the next day. Honestly, yeah... He needs a massive wake up call of some sort. I know he is a good guy because he always says he wants to do fun, fulfilling things. He just can't make the moves when push comes to shove at the moment.
On your point about possible borderline personality disorder? Well I have no idea, maybe Bipolar, but it's really just throwing random diagnoses out there until he goes to see a professional for himself lol.
I honestly just want to feel appreciated at the moment lol.