Dear Tony WK
You craft your words so beautifully. Those brought tears to my eyes, esp saying you won't expect someone to change.
I'm really hurt about my BF getting angry with me after I got the most triggering of letters from ex m-i-l.
BF told me how to think, what to think, what to do, even to pretend I never got it.... Like he was trying to program me, like he does the instruments he works on as an engineer.
I'm a HUMAN BEING I kept telling him. Not a machine.
I was present with him ALL week, being extremely emotional and I just listened, told him I Loved him and listened some more... all week. No angry words. Just holding presence with him.
One thing today for me and he was all out SHUT THAT DOWN.
I think HE triggered childhood stuff even saying all the stuff he said.
When my mother hurt me she told me not to cry.
I was hurt and needed to cry today.
Now I allow myself to cry.
Others around me expect me NOT to be.