My thoughts of care and concern are with you. I'm sorry to read that your mind is taking you on a trip you would rather not travel. May you find comfort in knowing that I and many others care for you. May distraction help as well.
The sea has always been a comfort to me. I grew up just a short walk from a beach. I will take you on a journey from my childhood.
I walk down to the beach with its white glistening sand, there are a few seagulls on the shoreline, staring out to see. They fly away as I approach, some squawking, others silent in their flight. I stand and watch them and watch the rhythmic movement of the waves as they tumble onto the beach, I watch as the water retreats, then comes back in, leaving froth on the sand.
As I walk along the beach I look for shells and pick some up, admiring their colour, texture and wonder where they come from. I look out to sea and wonder what life is like for people who live in other places.
Along the beach front there are lots of holiday houses, vacant generally, empty buildings, windows facing a view no one is there to appr4eciate most of the year.
I like to leave the beach and walk up into the hills following the coast along the cliff tops and back down into the gullies. The rocks are sharp and are black in colour where the waves have washed over them. The water gurgles as it swirls around the rocks.
Sometimes I can see dolphins and watch them for quite a while. Now and then an eagle flies over head or a larger sea bird. The gulls have stayed near the beach.
Wandering along an old bullock track I walk through the she-oaks, the wind makes a haunting noise as it flows through the trees. Now and then I can see and hear wallabies hopping through the undergrowth.
I walk to the top of the hill and look back over the coast, to the beach below and the town in which I live. Tall grass surrounds me and I swish my hands through it as it dances in the breeze.
Crows are watching me as they sit perched in the gum trees surrounding the clearing.
It is time to return to the sea and to the sounds of the waves.