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Forums / Staying well / Vent and then let it go...

Topic: Vent and then let it go...

  1. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    353 posts
    18 November 2021 in reply to Shelll
    You be right shelll, take a deep breath and put on some good music and think they gonski, xx
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    26 November 2021
    Feel so alone, far away, fat and ugly. So tired of people playing games.. one person in particular seems like they are acting and not real. Or maybe its my perception. Just want realness and freedom to be whoever I was creating to be. Don't even know who that is. Confusion.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Shelll
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    7545 posts
    26 November 2021
    Thankyou Harpbird and Sophie
    1 person found this helpful
  4. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    26 November 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Long day, long day, can't do everything I want even when the day seems so long. Technology! & ne! I think we're not compatible.

    I'm so tired I can't decide to eat, before Issleep. BUt when I wake again I will want to do some of the things I didn't get done earlier...& then be tired again. Or my legs hurt again, or my mind does.

    Something, always something. I can only cope with one at time.

    I know, silly thought asks, why can't life seem to understand?

    Oh, I have to do shopping too..will the weather let me go up the road, safely, to get a few things?

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    27 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    My sister in law knows I am working Christmas Day...not my choice!

    My sister in law has organised a family Christmas lunch...she knows I can not attend.

    My husband tells me I should not be offended.

    After a crazy Christmas Day at work I will be returning home to an empty house.

    2 people found this helpful
  6. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    27 November 2021

    All my life I have not really had a voice. Always had trouble verbally speaking up. No one to really listen to me. Or value anything I said.

    I do have a voice and it cries out loud within me. I hurt for these people, it saddens me. Oh please wake up. Please see the truth. Just recently emotions were shut of in me... maybe I simply couldn't cope with feeling them anymore.

    Tears have fallen, as once again my voice has been silenced. My inner cry for truth to reign. For all peoples eyes be open to it.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. mmMekitty
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    27 November 2021 in reply to Shelll

    I feel for you, you & you, & you, & you...I'm not going to name names, so many of you, with these ups & downs, so sad & hard, I know how it wears us all down & how it seems we have to continually build & rebuild, only to feel the erosion that keeps happening with these waves crashing in ... how do we keep going? I also wonder. Have done for decades, & I still don't know the answer to that, just that I have, though it seems due to nothing I have done.

    One thing I like, probably the best thing about being here on BB, is acknowledging, beccause I see you all, & we are all in this place together, we all have support - more than most of us have ever known & if nothing else, let this be what keeps us going.

    mmMekitty, here for as many as I can, even though it doesn't seem enough, because I can't answer every single post I'd like, but I still feel, think about & learn from all of you.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Mk2692
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    27 November 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,

    Sorry to hear that this is happening. It is really inconsiderate for her to organise a dinner that you cannot attend due to work arrangements. I know this maybe tough on you because of lockdowns as family gatherings were stopped and many other social events. I know attending family Christmas dinners would mean a lot to you. I think you should organise a family dinner and invite the people you would love to see. Enjoy the holidays with your family and let go of people that aren't worth your time.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. mmMekitty
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    28 November 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Doolhof,

    I want to ask your hubby 'Why the heck should Doolhof not be offended?'

    It does seem a terribly inconsiderate & insensitive thing to do, given the way we've all been seperated because of lockdowns, I'd like to think that those who can, will go all out & try to be getting some face to face time - while we can.

    *sigh* 😾 but how knows now! This Omicron strain of COVID-19 may just throw everything up in the air & out the window, again. I hope not, but while so little is known, I'm not confident we will be good to go ahead with Xmas plans

    I intend to be here, Doolhof, & anyone else who will be alone during the silly season, unless my own circumstances don't permit.

    I hate things feeling so uncertain!

  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    28 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMeKitty and Mk2692,

    Thanks for your comments. This isn't the first time I have been excluded.

    I also know she has grown children who have their own partners, they too have families as does her husband.

    It can be difficult trying to find a time to suit everyone. I understand that.

    Yes, I can try to make the most of Christmas no matter what I do and whom I am with.

    Here in S.A. thanks to our borders opening to Covid cases from interstate, who knows what tomorrow will bring let alone Christmas!

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Banksy92
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    146 posts
    28 November 2021
    I always feel so insecure around my birthday because I have a strange subconscious idea that if it goes by without anyone noticing it means I am invisible and don't matter. I'm so sick of feeling insecure and anxious as it approaches and I want to love myself regardless and be able to enjoy it, even if its in a simple way.
    1 person found this helpful
  12. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    29 November 2021 in reply to Banksy92

    Hello Banksy 92,

    I'd get so disappointed when no-one who knew my birthday didn't remember, call, email or anything. Now, I make a point of doing something, getting myself something, somethimes a big something, but small is fine,too, so I have become the one who celebrates my birthday - even if no one else does. 😸

    But I didn't get what I wanted this year! 😾 I was too concerned about what if, because I can't wear a mask,so didn't spend a big chunk of money on a hotel holiday, one with a bath & piano bar...it was possible there would

    be lockdowns

    But it turned out really nice, I got my 2nd vaccine dose, then going with my helper & getting cheesecake, & then to her place to play with the 7 puppies! 😻

    *

    The vent I came here for: Just ONCE I'd like to recieve everything I ordered from Coles Online! Every time! There has been something not sent or not the quantity I wanted. I am getting realy cranky about it. (& there is no cranky cat emoji - & that makes me cranky, too!)

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Sleepy21
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    30 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi all. Shelll it has sad how society renders so many of us voiceless. I see u and feel the same. Just wanted to say that.

    Not sure how to manage a friend never returning calls. It hurts, socks, and feels disrespectful. I ignore it and accept apologies but I'm not feeling safe with her right now.

    Feeling insecure and alone, and wanting to hear a human voice. To feel loved and cared for. And I don't.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Shelll
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    7545 posts
    5 December 2021

    Thankyou Sleepy

    Not sure when you birthday is Banksy. But may it be filled with some kind of "happy"

  15. Matchy69
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    6467 posts
    5 December 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    Hi Sleepy I know the feeling when a friend dosnt return your calls especially when you are worried about them and they don't seem to care at all about your feelings and realise what a caring friend they have.No wonder I am scared of making friends now.
  16. mmMekitty
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    5 December 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    I get so tired of being the one who calls.

    I keep waiting, hoping, & finally thinking, so we weren't the friends I thought we were.

    I wish we, here, could call each other.

    Even businesses, I call & leave messages when the business offers to call back, & guess .what? I reckon it's up around 98% don't call back, ever, I think, if I didn't call them again, I think that's what would happen...I might even give them days to call back, & they don't.

    This is as bad as phoning & being on hold for more than half an hour or three quarters, (I'm hanging on because I would have to wait all over again), hearing how important my call is to them! Nope, I don't think so!

    I'd wonder, wha's wrong with me? I don't smell, well, not over the phone anyway. I know I speak quietly, & that's getting better, I think, & I do my best to speak clearly when I do have to leave a message, through my nerves. It's not easy, for someone who gets anxious, to suddenly have to give their name, phone number, & a brief message about why I've phoned, within 30 seconds or be cut off.

    Now, when I make an offer, inviting someone to phone me, I don't bet on it happening. If I am concerned about someone, I will phone them. That's just how it is & I may as well accept it.

    Can't stop feeling disappointed, though.

    mmMekitty

  17. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    5 December 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    Oh, but being disappointmented means I expected something!
  18. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    5 December 2021
    Only just coping through today... That's better then not coping isn't it
  19. Maddeline
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    Maddeline avatar
    27 posts
    6 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Shelll,

    Some days just end up being that way dont they! But, if you ever need to talk to someone please reach out and talk to those around you. Sometimes it makes it easier when we talk to other people about why we are finding a day particularly hard.

    2 people found this helpful
  20. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2876 posts
    8 December 2021

    l just want life to stop and stand still. So sick of trying and having to do this must do that pay for this come up with that ,call them , arrange that, go see them get your mind twisted into knots by them and then your done with them until the next time, lists of 10 mind bending things that for some reason just never end each wk and will have to be done , even when you think on Monday morning just for once there aren't any this wk , by Monday lunchtime or Tues morning , another list.

    Why is life so like this in Australia, even if you life the quietest nothing life in the country, still , these things, they never end, and neither do the bills and expenses and things that have to be paid things that just must be done, why , why does it never end, even living like this.

    l just want a still life , no more pressure or lists or calls or people to see that can ruin your day or life with a push of a button, no more needing so much money just to live for 1 mths and 11more following yr after yr after yr.

    Why does it never end , even when l live like this.

    3 people found this helpful
  21. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    9 December 2021

    Need and want to let this go

    Fear. Hate experiencing it

    2 people found this helpful
  22. Sleepy21
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    4452 posts
    9 December 2021

    To be manipulated by someone, so wrong....to be exploited be abuse I was vulnerable. Gosh, it hurts.

    I had no protection and love.

    Wanting to be surrounded by a ball of love, to feel safe to handle the dark and awful ppl out there.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    10 December 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hey Sleepy,🧸

    You have us &❤️❤️❤️ here.

    😺mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    10 December 2021 in reply to Maddeline
    Thankyou for you kindness Maddeline
    1 person found this helpful
  25. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7545 posts
    11 December 2021

    Been playing and playing in my mind. I keep rehashing this.... Feel so bad. No good in social settings. I have many symptoms of social anxiety. I was listening to my nephew speak, his back was turned so he would not have seen his brother in law behind him. Did his brother in law want to speak to him. I noticed him as he was facing me. Was he waiting there. Feel like crying. I know what it's like to just stand there. And not be acknowledged. Maybe I hurt him. I didn't mean too. It's not fair... Sick and tired of not knowing what to do in situations like this. I could have said excuse me to my nephew whilst he was speaking. But at the time it did not enter my thoughts, because I was listening to him. And it feels sort of impolite to interrupt someone when they are speaking. How awful am I. So very sick of this. Hate the thought of hurting him. Maybe it doesn't hurt his heart. I really don't know.

    Thought of writing a note to him to ask him to forgive me. Just send it to their address. Maybe I am fussing over this. I keep rehashing it over and over in my thoughts.

  26. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Shelll,

    These are difficult, sometimes very awkward situations, & I can't say I have an answer. Writing a letter, is up to you, but I would think about trying to talk to them first. as soon as you can following such an incident, & say something like, "Now I can listen to you. I'm all ears What's on your mind?"

    You might quickly find out your nephew's brother -in-law had wanted to talk to tyour nephew, & then say, "I'm sorry you had to wait while he was talking to me. I hope you understand it was important." Or if younephew's brother-in-law had wanted to speak to you,again, apologise for the fact that he had to wait while your nephew was talking. & go on to say, I'm ready now, to listen to you.

    You don't need to make a big deal of it. If one or the other is very upset, then you might talk more about what he is feeling & thinking about what happened. He would need to feel he is heard & understood.

    I don't know how well you can follow what I've written. It is a suggestion anyway, & you might like to try to imagine other socially awkward situations & what you might say or do, kind of. practise in your mind, for times when you need to have a plan for what to say or do, because when feeling a lot of anxiety, we find it hard to think right then & there. 😺💖

    *

    I know, what I do, I get so flustered, I really can't think on my feet, & let others talk for me, like I'm too slow or something, & they jump right in, & I don't pipe up & stop them Why can't I expect people to wait while I collect my thoughts?...I really don't like that!!!

    That's my vent, today. (now it's Sunday).

    mmMekitty

  27. Lillylane
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    344 posts
    13 December 2021

    Loneliness is so hard. I can’t even explain it or put it into words.

  28. mmMekitty
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    1735 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to Lillylane

    What can you do?

    What can I do?

    I want to do more than I can, but there's these boundaries between me & you.

    So I send out Virtual Hugs

    & Virtual tissues too

    & offer to have a Virtual Chat

    Fearing that won't do.

    💖💖💖

    mmMekitty

  29. mmMekitty
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    13 December 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Go on, mmMekitty, cry now, get this out of your system so we get through tomorrow.

  30. Lillylane
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    344 posts
    14 December 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmMekitty,

    Thank you so much, your lovely words made me smile :)

    Offering a big virtual hug.

    I hope today is a better day for you x.

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