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Forums / Staying well / When should you go see someone? What to say?

Topic: When should you go see someone? What to say?

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. bread2
    bread2 avatar
    1 posts
    18 October 2020

    Hi,

    Someone told me I should see a psychologist, but I can't shake the feeling that if I go, it's uncalled for or an overreaction. For one thing, I really don't know what I would say.. Yes, I've been crying for some things and acting "weird", but it's like I feel it's such a vague feeling of general "emotional unwellness" than a specific "I'm really stressed with xx" or "I have these xxx thoughts all the time". I feel uncomfortable imagining me going to a GP or psychologist and I know they'll ask "so what have you come in for?" and I'm just not going to know what to say or where to start, and they'll be confused and I'll feel weird and it just seems like a really uncomfortable non-productive experience.. Another thing is that I keep switching between thinking I should go and thinking there's really nothing too wrong that I need to go for. Maybe I'm just like this? Maybe I could just eat better and socialise better and sleep more? Maybe I just can't be bothered fixing myself when it could be so easy too but I've convinced myself there's something more so I feel less bad about it? These thoughts I keep thinking through in my head, while I also think about how people who go to GPs and psychologists usually have real, identifiable, genuine problems, like people who have depression or anxiety or extreme stress or toxic relationships. I'm not depressed or worrying about everything, nobody abuses/is mean to me, so I just feel like.. what am I going in for? But then again, sometimes I feel super heavy, like emotionally heavy, thinking that I will be as I am in the future makes me feel grim, but then I should just do something but what do I do? And then just feel bad about feeling bad for myself and I don't know what to do.. I'm wondering how do people know when they should go see someone? Is it ok to see a psychologist even if you don't have a mental illness? How do you figure out what to say? What if you have difficulty explaining how you feel? Are you ever afraid you won't be able to explain yourself right?

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Croix
    Community Champion
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    Croix avatar
    11088 posts
    18 October 2020 in reply to bread2

    Dear bread2~

    Welcome here to the support forum. It was a good idea to post here and there have been many peple that have been in your exact situation.

    If you feel mental distress, which you have just described, then I would suggest you see your GP in a long consultation and discuss the matter.

    As you say yourself you would find it confusing and difficult to hold a face to face conversation and say everything why not do as I have done and take a couple of days to get it all down on paper? That gives you time to get it right, then at the start of the consultation give the doctor a copy and answer questions after there has been reading time. I've found it is a lot easier both for me, and the doctor who now has a list to work against.

    If you are unsure if you should put something down -put it down anyway.

    It can be a comfort to have the indecision and wondering taken away, and if you are found to have a mental health condition it can be treated properly, a road to a better life

    Please let me know how you get on

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  3. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3191 posts
    23 October 2020 in reply to bread2

    Hi bread2,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us. I can tell by your post that this is something you've been thinking about a fair bit so I hope it helps to reach out here.

    People see psychologists and therapists for all sorts of reasons - some problems feel major, some feel small. Some want to go and see them for serious mental illnesses - others for work stress and time management. There isn't a minimum requirement of 'issues' to be able to see one.

    If you go and don't know what to say, that's perfectly fine and perfectly normal. It certainly won't be the first time that they've heard that! Usually a first intake session can be kind of factual I suppose - like if you're working or studying, if you're in a relationship - just things that don't feel too tricky to answer. You can even say "I have a vague feeling of general unworthiness" and that can be your start point. If at anytime you don't know, you can say "I don't know" - I'm in therapy and I still do this!

    I hope that this gives you some insight. Maybe you can think about therapy as just a 'get to know you' kind of session. There isn't any right or wrong and whatever you say will be perfectly fine.

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Gambit87
    Gambit87 avatar
    741 posts
    26 October 2020 in reply to bread2

    Hi bread2,

    welcome to the forums!

    For me, Having a breakdown made me realise I needed to see someone. For the longest time I have a she'll be right and sweep it under the rug attitude but that attitude is toxic. I believe its perfectly fine to see a psychologist if you dont have a mental illness, psychologists are there to help you through what you're going through - no matter what it is. Some people just want a non judgemental 3rd party to talk to. If you're worried about not knowing what to say - don't be, as soon as you start you'll fine you cant stop. I see my psychologist once a month and I worry about not having anything to talk about - I end up ranting for 50 minutes every single time haha. you dont have to make sense either, your psychologist will help you get though what your trying to say (if that makes sense).

    trust me, you'll feel a whole lot better seeing a psychologist

    1 person found this helpful
  5. mocha delight
    mocha delight  avatar
    551 posts
    31 October 2020
    Hi bread2 what I did is I typed up a list of thoughts, feelings and physical signs/symptoms I was experiencing that I printed out & handed to my gp straight away when I had an appointment to talk with her about the issues I was having.
    1 person found this helpful
  6. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
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    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    31 October 2020 in reply to bread2

    Hi bread2

    Welcome to the forums and I'm really glad you posted about your thoughts, feelings and questions. You've come to the right place!

    My question for you is WHO told you that you needed to see a psychologist?

    If you had phoned me as a friend and said all you said in your first post then I don't think I'd say "You need to see a psychologist" but I would think you're feeling pretty anxious atm.

    There's a book you may want to borrow from the Library and just have a read.
    It's called "Anxiety" by Dr Mark Cross.

    I bought it this year and it IS a really good read. I only think you should borrow it, not buy it though.

    It's by a Dr who HAS Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and has lived with it possibly all his life, certainly early in his teens as, I believe he couldn't 'come out' and that must have been awful for him.
    I don't have GAD so it was a bit over the top for me... I DO have anxiety but it's a different type.

    I can't say at all that you have GAD or any other type of anxiety.

    I'm more concerned about who told you to "see someone" and what your relationship is with this person. I'm saying this because someone said that to me about 30y ago, so I went! lol.
    The psychologist was FAR more interested in seeing the person who TOLD me I needed psych help. As it turned out he saw her too and it the outcome was peculiarly interesting indeed.

    IF you just upped and decided TO see a psych, mocha had brilliant advice for you about how to start and you may or may not need the sessions.

    Welcome again to the forums and I really hope you feel supported in this safe and caring place.

    Love EM

  7. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    16486 posts
    31 October 2020 in reply to bread2

    Hello Bread, it's been a couple of weeks since you posted your thread, and that takes more courage than you would believe.

    You know that there are people who see a psychologist that may feel OK one week/fortnight and don't believe they need a session and this happened with me, but once I was talking my psych raised a trigger something that hit a nerve, I wasn't prepared at all, in other words, the counselling needed to continue.

    Triggers will occur at any time of the day, and that's why we need help.

    It's good to be feeling well a day at a time, but we need help to overcome these reactions we may have to any problems associated in why you feel this way.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

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