Hi,
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, & the whole time I've known him he has had very low moods & major self-esteem issues.
He finally decided after a low where he had dark thoughts that he should seek professional help (after 2 years of me suggesting it), & after a month he was diagnosed with dysmythia/persistent depressive disorder, which is suspected to have started around early high school (he's now late 20's). Since his diagnosis, he's been more low than usual, & keeps referring to himself as broken.
I've done a little bit of research on it (not heaps, as he was only diagnosed recently) but I was wondering if there is anything I can do to support him? He's really good at letting me know when he's feeling down, & I just feel kind of useless because I don't know what I can do to help. Any attempts at asking if there's something I can do always gets the "I don't know" answer.
It's also so hard to hear him talk about how much of a failure he thinks he is, how he's a bad friend/son/partner, how much he hates the way he looks (he's not overweight in the slightest but considers himself disgusting). He asks how I could love him when he's "such a failure of a person" or tells me he understands if I don't want to be with him, & it breaks my heart. We haven't been intimate in about 6 months because of his body issues, which I have found rather difficult. He tells me he straight up doesn't believe me when I compliment him, he won't talk to his friends about anything (though sometimes he'll mention he's having a bad day). He sees a psychologist every 1-2 weeks, & is always very down after every appointment. (Not sure if it's just hitting some uncomfortable truths maybe?)
It makes him hard to be around sometimes when he's in a bad/low mood (even the dogs avoid him), & it's a relief sometimes when he wants to be left alone on his computer, though that makes me feel guilty & like a bad girlfriend for feeling like that.
I'm just not sure what I should be doing (or IF there's something) to help? He knows I'm here to talk or even just listen, but he won't tell me anything other than "I'm having a low day". I want to talk to his friends about it because they're fantastic and supportive (they know he's been struggling) but I'm worried that he'll see it as a breach of privacy and trust.
Trying to stay positive for the both of us is exhausting some days (especially in lockdown), & I'm just not sure what or where to go from here?