Hi, welcome
Last year we lost my wifes step dad, her mum and her father. I understand.
I'm not a drinker of alcohol (one cinzano twice a week) is all we have. My Air Force days 17-20yo (I'm 65yo) was my only major drinking period for popularity only.
But I do empathise with you making one mistake. The question is- can you empathise with yourself for making mistakes? If not then are you being too hard on yourself?
In these or similar situations we bury our heads and punish ourselves. That isnt a bad thing at all, like grief it takes time to rebound. An outsider like me sees it totally different in that I can visualise 6 moths down the track when you get your license back or maybe looking forward to getting it back, that you'll feel a lot better.
The saying is "do you cry over spilt milk"? It spilt, it's done!
My wife's auntie is a reformed alcoholic. Hasnt had a drink in 28 years. In that period she fell out of the whole family over things she said and did. Last year when her sister was in hospital a few days from her passing she visited and made peace with her. Then my wife walked in and she made peace with her. All but two of her siblings has forgiven her. We've now learned that during that 28 years she has studied and became a counselor for alcoholism. AA has been her support for all those years.
Perhaps you can use this experience to give up the drinking and do it with the support of AA? Turning a negative situation into a positive life changing one is probably the most honourable achievement you'll ever make dont you think? You certainly have the courage as you posted here.
TonyWK