Hi judaft,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand anxiety can be hard to deal with…. I understand the feeling of fighting with our own brains…… it’s exhausting!

I understand that you have finished school and thought that this would make you happier.

Sometimes we believe to find true happiness this can be obtained outside of us by doing certain things that we think will lead to happiness.

BUT true happiness is found within…….. it’s inside ourselves.

You may look at all of these people online who seem to have it together but all of these online people sometimes aren’t who they seem to be.

I see people on social media sometimes I always notice the ones that have put filters on their pictures ……. these images aren’t the people they are in real life……….

I think if more people can just accept themselves for themselves then their life would be so much more carefree.

Please try to accept your self for your self ……. Forgive yourself for the parts your not happy about and then move forward with that and create yourself to be the person you want to be……….. “ you have the power to do this”.

I understand that it’s hard to feel like we are fighting ourselves………. our minds job is to think…… our minds do this on their own.

What you can do is feed your mind with positive things about yourself…….. build yourself a positive mindset.

Sometimes when we worry obsessively this can effect our every day life……

Anxiety can make us worry excessively…. This isn’t your fault.

How would you feel about making an appointment with your gp? You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to a psychologist who can give you strategies for anxiety.

Im here to chat

Dear Judaft~

I'd like to join Sophie and Petal in welcoming you here. I'm glad you have met them as they give good advice

Thinking about you fighting your brain, all that overthinking and stress, blaming yourself and wishing things had been different. All that reminds me of me when my anxiety condition got the better of me

I'd not wish you to keep on like that, I'd like you to feel more contented and happier, as I am now

I too wished I'd done things differently and felt it was all pretty hopeless. I'm not the same now and can look back and see myself a bit more clearly (distance helps🙂

I did not realise how I behaved and the decisions I made were the result of my condition, which basically ruled my life. In fact they were not really decisions but a natural progression of the illness taking hold

Leaving school might have seemed to be a way out of your unhappiness, and spending all your time on the phone may well have been another result of wanting things better. I would think it hard for you to judge just at the moment. I was not able to be logical, or accept logic, from others back then. Just blamed myself

Those couple of years are not wasted, they are part of you which you can use to help things improve. My improvement started when I explained everything to a doctor, and was diagnosed and treatment started. I needed to get better

That time you think is wasted can help. It can give you strength to get treatment and see it through to a better time, as well as to let you know what to watch out for in the future

Do you think you could go to a doctor and explain it all?

Is there anyone -a family member perhaps - you can talk with when you are very preoccupied with horrible thoughts ? They only have to listen and care. It can make a difference

A couple of things I found helpful you can do yourself - I apologize if you are already doing them

The first is talking or web-chatting to the Kids Help Line

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
& 1800 55 1800

You can contact them more than once, they are friendly and understanding -and are used to problems such as you have

The other thing is a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind.

https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app/

Now this took me a while to learn, but works surprisingly well. I use it to break the chain of bad thoughts and leave me calmer. It has tons of exercises for different people, even ones with short attention spans like me

I hope we talk some more

Croix

Hello, im sorry for my late reply. Thank you so much for your reply. I recently got back into drawing and found that im quite passionate for it. I drew pictures as a kid, but it wasnt anything i took too seriously which i regret. And what i regret more is not drawing at all from 12-15. I get really mad at myself. But that was when everything started to get a little hard for me, i was dealing with ongoing family issues at home and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety while failing school. And i find myself wishing that i could go back in time to work harder and not fail school, and also continuing to draw and read so i could be more experienced today. I see 14-17 year olds on social media who are so much better than me at creating art and feel so envious, i cant even believe how good they are. I dont know how to get over it. Its not only with drawing, i only recently found myself to love films, drawing, and i want to take up writing. I would read and write a lot as a child but again, i lost it when i fell into a pit in my early teens and was too lazy to do anything, which i really regret. And now that ive only recently taken these interests back up, i feel its too late. I always think about writing but im too scared to actually do it because i wont be as good as people my age that ive seen online. And comparing myself to people younger than me and people my age doesnt help with that. its hard to get rid of these thoughts, they sort of consume my mind. As ridiculous as it all is though, i have thought about careers in animation/art, or anything film related. Ive imagined writing scripts for movies, or directing. But i always change my mind so nothings set lol. Thank you again for your reply!

Hello Judaft, if I can just say that taking your medication for anxiety when you feel you need it, is not going to help you.

They aren't like headache tablets where you take them when needed, AD's are taken with the advice from your doctor to try and readjust your thinking if you are suffering from any type of depression, so one tablet here and there is not going to be of any help.

Speak to your doctor and if you want you can take your mum with you.

Geoff.